I’m looking for some advice on how to change one of my dog's habits.
My puppy, Spock, is 10 months old and I’ve had him since he was 5 weeks old.
When I first got him, I was in a relationship and my boyfriend and I agreed that he wouldn't sleep in the bed, only in his own dog bed. Until he was about three and a half months old, he always slept in his bed in our bedroom.
However, I later split up with my partner and had to move back in with my parents. It was a really difficult time for me and I’ll admit, I gave in... I took him into bed with me and we’ve slept together ever since.
It has always been a dream of mine to have my own dog; he’s my first dog as an adult and I always wanted us to sleep in the same bed. We have a very close bond.
But I have to admit that I realise it can cause problems sometimes, especially when it comes to privacy with a man and all that... so I’ve decided to get him used to sleeping in his own bed again. I’m not really sure how to do it gradually since he’s so used to it now. I was thinking of buying a pheromone spray (like Adaptil) to spray on his bed to help calm him down, and then keeping him in the living room where his bed is for the first few nights to make him understand he can't sleep with me anymore. But I’m worried it might be traumatic for him or a bit too harsh... I’m not really sure how to go about it, so I’d love to hear your opinions or stories from anyone who has done this so I can get started as soon as possible.
Thanks for your replies! 🤗
Translated from French
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Yeah, I haven’t lost sight of the fact that I’m the one who created this situation, which is why I’m taking it so much to heart. I also understand his jealousy, which is why I’ve been treading carefully from the start and doing my research before taking any action. But yes, I’m going to encourage him to sleep on his own and do it gradually so as not to unsettle him too much. I’ll just see how it goes, to make sure things go as smoothly as possible for him.
Octalove, are you only jumping into this thread to judge a situation you know nothing about, just to have a go at me? I really don't see the point in making a comment like that; it’s completely useless.
And as for the privacy side of things, whether it’s a long-term partner living with me or just someone visiting, it’s the same problem lol. My dog gets onto the bed and sits right in the middle, and if we try to move him, he growls. I get the feeling he’s a bit jealous; sometimes if I even kiss a guy, he gets right in between us 😂 That’s why I don’t want him sleeping with me anymore, because I think our bond has become a bit too intense and everyone’s suffering for it, him as much as me. I realise it’s my fault, which is why I’m trying to sort things out ^^
Thanks for your replies, they’ve really reassured me for now and made me feel more confident about my choice.
The thing is, I’m not sure if it’s because my dog is too stubborn or if it’s me who hasn’t trained him properly or lacks authority, but he doesn’t really listen to me lol.
He listens sometimes when I tell him to go to his bed, but not when he’s on my bed. Every time I say "no" or "off", he just doesn't do it. I have to physically move him myself and then he just comes right back, and this can go on for hours...
So, I think I’m going to have to leave him in the living room and keep my bedroom door shut with some of my clothes there until he understands that’s how it’s going to be from now on.
I’m just worried he won’t understand and will take it as a punishment 😕
With ours, she knows she sleeps with me when the hubby isn't around... and if he finishes work late, as soon as she sees him coming into the bedroom she heads off to her basket... but in the morning it’s all about cuddles in bed lol
Dogs catch on quickly, don't doubt yourselves, just be firm when you send him back to his spot... it’ll be tough for a few days but he’ll get used to it
Hi there,
I used to have a dog who was used to sleeping with me. Even in a double bed, she was always hogging the duvet, but when I moved house and went back to a single bed, getting any sleep became a real nightmare 😅.
So, one day, I just told her to get off. And that was that. She simply slept (giving me puppy dog eyes) on the bed next to mine. We were still just as close during the day and all that...
I’ve got another little dog now who sleeps on the bed with me. She doesn’t actually bother me that much. But when you’ve got about fifty cats on a single bed with you as well, it inevitably gets a bit much. I end up tossing and turning and grumbling in my sleep, and the dog is the one who leaves 😡.
Instead of the cats! So now I’m struggling to try and convince my dog to stay with me.
But anyway, if I did want to kick her off, I'd just say "scoot" (that’s my command for getting off the sofa, the bed, etc.) at bedtime. And if she tried to sneak back up during the night, I’d just wiggle my feet, sort of sliding them under her while grumbling. And that’s that.
I don't see many other ways around this because if you let him sleep in his bed in your room at first, it's a safe bet he won't stay there and will end up in your bed...
If I were you, I'd put his bed in the room where he'll eventually be sleeping (the living room, in this case, but with your bedroom door closed) along with some clothes you've worn so he has your scent to reassure him (rather than pheromones which he isn't familiar with and which can be a bit hit-and-miss).
You can also give him a few treats at bedtime so you can slip away without him noticing, and give him his toys.
It might take some time, but he'll get used to it eventually, even if he's likely to whine at the start (be careful not to give in though, or he'll soon realise that crying gets him what he wants...).
