Severe puppy blues since he arrived

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Hi everyone!

I'm new to the forum and, not knowing what to do anymore, I'm turning to you hoping to find some answers.

So, on Saturday morning, my partner and I visited a puppy show and we came home with a 2-month-old fluffball, a Golden Retriever.

After talking to the breeder about our concerns regarding keeping a dog of this breed in a flat, she assured us it wouldn't be an issue at all.

So we bought everything he'd need for his well-being: a fabric crate for the living room with a bed and a big cushion inside, bowls, toys, lead, collar, etc. Basically, the works.

Since Sunday, we've already managed to teach him that he needs to go outside to do his business (we have a tiny private garden). He still has the odd little accident at night, but nothing serious.

He's really struggling with the lead and collar (he sulks and just freezes, but he's slowly starting to get used to it).

But since he arrived, I feel like I've made a massive mistake in adopting him. I don't feel right at all, even though I love animals.

Thoughts like taking him back to the breeder or rehoming him keep crossing my mind, despite myself. And I feel so guilty about it.

Maybe it's because of how much our lives have been turned upside down.

My partner hasn't been back to her driving theory classes yet; she's going to try going for an hour and leaving him alone, but I can already imagine the chaos.

The idea of joining a gym doesn't seem possible anymore either. I feel like we have no time for ourselves.

At night and in the morning, he howls and cries when we leave him in the living room to sleep. I tried giving him a hot water bottle to remind him of the warmth of his littermates, but nothing works.

When I finally go to see him after 15 minutes (at 1 am... the neighbours must be fuming), he’s so happy and rushes to my feet, staying glued to me or following me everywhere if I move.

It breaks my heart to put him back in his crate and tell him to stay, only to hear him crying as soon as the door is shut.

I’d love to take him into bed with us to comfort him, but I know if I give in, his training will be ruined.

I find it hard to be firm with him, to say "no" when he’s being hyper even if he’s being naughty. I feel bad afterwards because, in the end, he just melts my heart.

But I just feel terrible...

This Saturday morning, we're taking him to a puppy training class, hoping to learn a lot.

What should I do? Can you give me some advice, please?

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  • P'titefleur
    P'titefleur Icon representing the flag French
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    You must have missed that documentary on the telly on Friday night; it featured breeders speaking at various pet shows.
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    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    There were breeders from all different regions.

    Puppy shows don't happen every Sunday in any one area. Sometimes it can be a real hassle, or even impossible, to go and see them or to have people visit the premises.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    P'titefleur, you're right: "But accidents are normal at that age, what did you expect... You’re giving up after only four days..." My thoughts exactly! It’s like asking a 9-month-old baby to have full bladder and bowel control!!!!!!!!!!
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Given the amount of information and follow-up she provided, yes, she was definitely genuine. The breeders you see at dog shows are generally people who actively compete, so the dogs have pedigrees, official recognition, and so on. I’ve got a friend who breeds Jack Russells and enters shows. Of course, he has potential owners visit him at home and everything, but that doesn't stop him from also taking part in shows. There’s no need to be so extreme—it’s not as if everyone at these shows is some dodgy dealer importing dogs from Russia... One of these days, the telly will be telling us that imported shoes are made of koala skin and everyone will be walking around in flip-flops...
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    @Kel-Morian, you said: "Llaura, the puppy show we visited only featured professional breeders. They all provided health records for their puppies and, apart from two or three, they were all KC registered. I think it’s one of the best ways for good breeders to get their name out there." Yes, it is a good way for a breeder to get noticed – I’ve done these shows myself – but no reputable breeder would ever sell a puppy or kitten on the spot. They should insist on you visiting them at their premises; that’s one of the main hallmarks of a responsible breeder.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Leati, you're spot on: "You say you don't have the time anymore, but you really should have thought about that beforehand..."

    I'm with you 100% on that. I’m honestly shocked that after just three days, someone ‘realises’ it’s not going to work because looking after a puppy takes time! Honestly, getting a pet and taking on a living creature – especially a baby – isn’t a decision to be taken lightly. It’s something that needs proper thought, especially as it’s a commitment that lasts for many years.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Kel-Morian, you said: "Regarding the puppy show, I spent ages nitpicking with the breeders there to find even a shred of professionalism. The breeder we bought him from gave us the full works. Our pup's pedigree going back to his great-great-grandparents, the mother’s hip scores showing no dysplasia in the family, the vaccination record with all the latest jabs and worming done, his ID tag, an advice sheet filled out from top to bottom... she even gave him a big cuddle before handing him over. She also asked for a photo of him when he's older to add to the family album she keeps." Just so you know, a responsible breeder will never sell a puppy or kitten at a show or an exhibition (so in that sense, I completely agree with @P'titefleur). The only responsible way for them to operate is to have initial contact with potential buyers and then "obligatorily" have them come to their home. This ensures the buyer gets a little one that has been raised with its littermates and adult dogs in a balanced environment. A breeder can tell you absolutely anything. And a little kiss for the animal isn’t, on its own, a guarantee of quality. There are plenty of "actors" in the breeding world. Breeders who say "I love him, he's my baby" but who, at the end of the day, couldn't care less where he ends up as long as the sale goes through.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    OK, thanks, I'll check that out straight away!
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    P'titefleur
    P'titefleur Icon representing the flag French
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    You can find Kong toys pretty much everywhere. Have a look on Zooplus, they’ve got them... and yeah, they definitely keep them occupied. I’ve got some for the dogs I’m looking after.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Klem73, you mentioned Kong toys to me. Are they actually any good?

    Has anyone else tried them? I’ve seen they aren’t available here in the UK, so I’ll have to get them imported...

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