Severe puppy blues since he arrived

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Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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Hi everyone!

I'm new to the forum and, not knowing what to do anymore, I'm turning to you hoping to find some answers.

So, on Saturday morning, my partner and I visited a puppy show and we came home with a 2-month-old fluffball, a Golden Retriever.

After talking to the breeder about our concerns regarding keeping a dog of this breed in a flat, she assured us it wouldn't be an issue at all.

So we bought everything he'd need for his well-being: a fabric crate for the living room with a bed and a big cushion inside, bowls, toys, lead, collar, etc. Basically, the works.

Since Sunday, we've already managed to teach him that he needs to go outside to do his business (we have a tiny private garden). He still has the odd little accident at night, but nothing serious.

He's really struggling with the lead and collar (he sulks and just freezes, but he's slowly starting to get used to it).

But since he arrived, I feel like I've made a massive mistake in adopting him. I don't feel right at all, even though I love animals.

Thoughts like taking him back to the breeder or rehoming him keep crossing my mind, despite myself. And I feel so guilty about it.

Maybe it's because of how much our lives have been turned upside down.

My partner hasn't been back to her driving theory classes yet; she's going to try going for an hour and leaving him alone, but I can already imagine the chaos.

The idea of joining a gym doesn't seem possible anymore either. I feel like we have no time for ourselves.

At night and in the morning, he howls and cries when we leave him in the living room to sleep. I tried giving him a hot water bottle to remind him of the warmth of his littermates, but nothing works.

When I finally go to see him after 15 minutes (at 1 am... the neighbours must be fuming), he’s so happy and rushes to my feet, staying glued to me or following me everywhere if I move.

It breaks my heart to put him back in his crate and tell him to stay, only to hear him crying as soon as the door is shut.

I’d love to take him into bed with us to comfort him, but I know if I give in, his training will be ruined.

I find it hard to be firm with him, to say "no" when he’s being hyper even if he’s being naughty. I feel bad afterwards because, in the end, he just melts my heart.

But I just feel terrible...

This Saturday morning, we're taking him to a puppy training class, hoping to learn a lot.

What should I do? Can you give me some advice, please?

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Regarding the trainer, we’ve got the best one in the area (according to his peers), so I’m not too worried about that. There’s a puppy school split into two groups: one for puppies aged 2 to 4 months and the other for 4 to 6 months.

    From what I gather, it’s quite a tough field to get into as a professional.

    We’ve just got back from a walk; it didn't last long and we didn’t go far at all. About 50 yards at most, after which he just wouldn't budge unless it was to head back towards the house.

    It wasn't for lack of trying!

    As for food, our one isn’t exactly a big eater; he never finishes his bowl.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    "I agree with @Fanny68, we need to stay on topic." We'll talk about whatever we want, whether people like it or not!
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    He’s a lovely little fluffball anyway. If he’s managing to sleep for 5 or 6 hours straight, that’s already quite good. It’ll get longer as time goes on. Puppies eat a lot because they grow so quickly, but they digest fast too, which is why he needs to go so often. As he gets older, he'll be able to hold it for longer. In the meantime, try what I said: give him a firm telling-off if he has an accident indoors, but don't go too far and don't shout. When he goes outside, make sure you let him know he’s a good boy by giving him plenty of praise. It helps him understand. As for a dog trainer, at 2 months old he might be a bit young, but it could help give you some answers to your questions. Just make sure you choose your trainer carefully; there are some great ones, but others are more interested in the money than the job. You get that in any line of work, but in this case, it’s your dog’s training that’s at stake. The basics of training are always the same, but animals are just like humans—they each have their own personality, and you often have to adapt your approach because of that. It’s important that you manage to understand your dog so you can head in the right direction; a good trainer can help you with that. What you need is plenty of love for your dog while staying firm with him, and a bit of determination for the training. If you love him, the rest will come naturally, even if it’s a bit of a test of your nerves at the start.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    That's what we're doing at the moment.

    He manages to sleep for 5 or 6 hours straight quite peacefully, but then he cries until we go to him.

    Here are a few photos:

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    I agree with Fanny68, we should stick to the topic of the post—the little fluffball. This is my first puppy too, and I'm in two minds about putting his bed on the upstairs landing near the bedrooms so he can sense I'm there... Like you, Kel-Morian, I've seen so many different opinions on exactly where a puppy's sleeping area should be. I'm tempted to say that the bed should be put in its permanent spot from the start... but then you have to be prepared for some whining...
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    So far so good for us, he hasn't started destroying things yet... fingers crossed it stays that way!

    I'm not so sure about the idea of moving the bed further away, though.

    There are so many conflicting opinions; some people recommend putting it in its permanent spot straight away, whereas others, like you, suggest moving the bed bit by bit...

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    There is one on my profile and on his profile at the moment if you want to see his cute little face.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    No @Kel-Morian, I’m not being extreme at all, just well-informed. I’m on the front line, so I know exactly what goes on in breeding facilities and the tactics some breeders use to ensure buyers never actually visit their premises.

    And their foolproof method is to spend as much time as possible at shows and exhibitions...

    I’ll say it again: NO serious breeder would ever agree to sell a little one at one of these shows.

    I refuse to do it myself.

    Either people take the trouble to come to my home, or they move on and end up falling for any old kitten or puppy kept in who-knows-what conditions...

    I’ve “missed out” on quite a few sales precisely because people “absolutely” wanted to go home with a kitten there and then. They wouldn't listen to my reasoning, which was for their own benefit, not mine.

    But that didn’t matter to me, as I felt those people weren't committed enough to wait a little while and make the trip.

    They just wanted to satisfy an immediate whim without thinking about the long-term commitment involved.

    Of course, I’m not blaming you if you weren't aware, but now you know...

    You’ve been given some good advice regarding your puppy, and I’ve no doubt that if you follow those tips to the letter, you’ll manage to sort out all the issues.

    It would be lovely if you could post a little photo of your little lad :)

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    We’ve got a vet appointment tomorrow morning for his booster, so we’ll definitely be asking for some advice. Then on Saturday morning, we’re heading to a training centre that runs puppy classes—the idea is to get him started early, but also to train us too! I’m actually quite looking forward to it!

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    A reputable breeder wouldn't get involved in those puppy fairs. Some might go just to introduce themselves and show their pups, but they’d never let a puppy go right then and there. It’s common sense, really – a proper breeder doesn’t sell their puppies at shows!
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