I’ve been so anxious since my puppy arrived

Hi everyone, and thank you all for your advice. I feel much less alone now and things are definitely looking up! I’m also feeling better because I finally spoke to my partner. I hadn't dared say anything to him before because I'd been begging him for a dog for a year, and since he wasn't really keen, he only eventually gave in. In the end, I just broke down in front of him and told him I wasn't doing well, that I'd barely been eating and was feeling so anxious about the puppy. He really put things into perspective for me; we actually have a great dog, she’s quite obedient and very sweet. Yes, she’s been having accidents in the house at night, and there have been a few mishaps, and yes, there’s still loads to teach her—she won’t get everything right straight away. But I need to be more patient; she’s still only little and has all her training ahead of her, and so far she’s actually doing pretty well! Plus, I couldn't have imagined a better start for my cat and dog getting along; I was expecting it to be much worse, so I’m very lucky there. I’ve finally realised he was right—I was focusing way too much on what was going wrong instead of seeing what she was doing well. He also told me I wasn't taking enough time for myself and was obsessing over the dog too much. He suggested I go out and hit the shops for a bit since I'm on holiday and have been looking after her full-time. So that’s what I did, and it did me the world of good. I even felt a sense of joy to see my girl again when I got back. Anyway, thank you all. It feels so good to be able to talk without being judged, especially about things that are hard to admit, like "I don't love my dog." I've taken all your advice on board and I’m going to put it into practice. I’m back at work soon and then it’ll be my partner’s turn to be on holiday, so he’ll be the one looking after her. I think that break will do me good too, and I’ll look forward to seeing my dog again just as much as I look forward to seeing my cat! I’ve also started looking back at photos of her as a tiny puppy and the videos the breeder sent me. It really helped; it reminded me how much I couldn't wait for updates and photos back then! It really cheered me up. And to answer the various questions: no, I didn’t expect it to be this much hard work. I knew having a dog would be a big responsibility and that’s what I wanted, but an adult dog is a world away from a puppy that you have to watch constantly, get up with in the night for toilet breaks, lead train, get used to the car, and all the rest of it. Even so, I have close friends who got a puppy in November 2016 and they had a really tough time—even worse than me, as theirs was much naughtier—but it didn't put me off at all at the time! Thanks again to everyone! 🙂🙂

Yes, we’ve all been there (and sometimes even as adults, dogs still get up to mischief – I’m speaking from experience, and I don’t even have a Golden!) but just stay calm and stay positive! Don't let it get to you too much, as she'll sense if you're not feeling 100%. As for house-training, you’re still going to need a lot of patience; she won’t be fully house-trained until she’s around 5 or 6 months old. And yes, definitely keep socialising her, and for her whole life, not just the first few months; a dog needs to keep seeing what’s going on in the outside world. Also, be careful not to go to extremes and become completely inseparable; it wouldn't be doing her any favours, and it wouldn't help you either. 👌 Hang in there!

Hi there, We went through exactly the same thing when our Golden Retriever first arrived home. Even though we’d been thinking about it for years, we felt completely overwhelmed at the start. It’s totally normal; it takes time to understand each other and to set a proper routine and boundaries. At the beginning, we tend to "hover" over them far too much. You really mustn't give in to every whim or demand—just ignore her completely (no speaking, looking, or touching) and you’ll see she’ll soon learn where the limits are. At the end of the day, she’s a puppy, and puppies get into mischief! Ours is still quite naughty at 11 months, even with two hours of walks every day and plenty of playtime, but it’s normal and she'll grow out of it. Take her out as often as possible (everywhere: into town, through crowds, out in the countryside...); that’s how you’ll really build a bond. Nowadays, we understand our girl perfectly and she comes absolutely everywhere with us—to friends' houses, into town, the shops, on holiday... I can’t recommend puppy classes enough; it’s a brilliant way to get guidance from dog trainers or behaviourists while sharing some bonding time with your pup. Keep taking her out every two hours for toilet training and give her loads of praise in a really happy, upbeat voice when she goes outside. Ours was fully house-trained by four months using this method. Hang in there—you’ll see, it’s (mostly) pure joy! 😁

I totally understand your stress, and it’s completely normal. It’s a kind of "puppy blues" and we all get through it, so don’t panic!! I’ve had several dogs, and my latest one arrived just two months after my previous dog passed away. Going from 14 years with a dog—missing them dearly, but having enjoyed years of settled training and the peace and quiet of their senior years—to starting all over again with a crazy little pup where everything needs to be taught from scratch was a massive shock! Still, I couldn’t imagine life without a dog. Even though I’d always planned to get another one straight away, I still had a real knot in my stomach when I saw my new little terror arrive, just like you!! Yes, the accidents are a pain. Yes, the mischief is annoying. It can even be downright exhausting, but since we’ve been through it before and know the score, we manage. We get back into the routine and find the patience needed for those early stages. You just need a bit of time to get to know each other. That said, make sure you start the training and set the boundaries you want straight away. You’ll see, your little ball of fluff will start greeting you with total madness and licks, and that’s when you’ll think, "this is it, we’re in this together," and you’ll be well on your way for the long haul.

Hi there, Rest assured, you’re far from being the only one! If you weren't fully aware of just how much work it involves, I can well imagine it’s been a bit of a shock to the system (especially if you’re looking after her all by yourself?). I know that for my part, I wasn't prepared at all, and with a pup who got into every bit of mischief imaginable, it was pretty tough... But I soon got the hang of it: it’s so important that you find moments to bond with her. Do something together that you both enjoy! :) That way, this difficult stage where you feel like you’re spending your whole life cleaning up after your pet is much less draining. And if it’s like it was with your cat and you just need a bit of time to build a connection, this is a great way to work on it! Do you know any other puppy owners? Chatting with people who are going through the same thing every day could really do you some good!