Recently, my 9-and-a-half-month-old Golden Retriever has been giving me a right hard time. He wasn't an easy puppy, so I was prepared for a challenge, but now he's right in the middle of his "teenage" phase, things aren't getting any better!
Ziggy isn't a mean dog at all, far from it. He’s still very immature—which I suppose is normal for his age and breed—and he's very energetic and playful. He’s never had any issues with other dogs; he plays several times a week with various dogs in the neighbourhood, off-lead, all breeds and sizes, and there's never been a problem. At home, he’s very stubborn and it’s not easy teaching him to behave (especially since we live in a flat), but he’s still young so I know I need to be patient.
However, lately, he’s started being aggressive towards me. I think it might be over-excitement, but I’m not sure. It started during play: he escalates very quickly, loses his self-control and starts showing his teeth, growling at me, and trying to bite my hands, arms, or clothes. I should mention he doesn’t clamp his jaw shut, but with his teeth, it’s still not very pleasant. When it happens, I stop playing immediately, but he chases after me and I have to leave the room or shut him in the kitchen to get him to settle down. He’s also started showing this kind of behaviour when I tell him off for things he’s not allowed to do. Finally, just recently, he’s started doing the exact same thing on walks for reasons I can't quite pin down. Sometimes it’s in the morning, at the start of our usual walk, I try to lead him a certain way and he starts jumping up at me. Or when I stop to chat with a neighbour. Or simply when I stop him from eating something off the ground. Usually, when I'm outside and can't just leave the room, I try to distract him by scattering treats on the ground. But for example, this morning it didn't work. I had to pin him to the ground because I was worried he’d hurt me, and in the end, I had to just go back home.
What do you think is the best way to react in those moments? Do you think it’s just adolescence? Or stress?
Translated from French
The forum content is sometimes translated from another language, and posts may concern countries with different animal laws. Do your research before making any decisions.
Since the forum is translated by AI, the translations may contain errors.
It was like she was a ghost. She’d calm down quite quickly (about 15 mins). It didn't stop us from having a bit of a rough-and-tumble next to her and all that, but when I said no, I meant no. Eventually, at the first sign of me getting fed up, she’d stop immediately.
Then, once she’d settled, I’d just carry on with my day without even looking at her. No way was I going to praise her and get her all worked up again. I had to let her properly come down from it, calm down, and settle...
And an hour or two later, I’d go back to see her for a cuddle, or a play, etc.
If she started nicking things, I’d just walk over, take the item, and put it back—or put it up high—without a single word or look. Then I’d immediately go back to what I was doing, acting completely disconnected from her. I’d go and get the object back as many times as it took. I’d stay on my feet and only sit back down once the dog had settled.
If I’d been sitting down and spent my time getting up to chase after her, she definitely would’ve found that hilarious. "The human’s playing, I’ve managed to make them move!"
Mind you, I learned from the best. My first dog took any kind of attention as a victory. Even a loud "no" or me getting cross. She could bark at me for hours. It took a while for me to realise... that she didn't work like other dogs I’d known, where you just say "no" or "go to your bed".
So, I started completely ignoring her whenever she was being a pest. And she was a champion at it. After two or three days of infinite patience (on my part), it was sorted.
Two or three days of being barked at for six hours a day non-stop. Since that wasn't getting the reaction she wanted anymore, she started barking right in my ear, with her nose practically on my earlobe! 😭
I had to stop in the evenings for the neighbours' sake. I’d do it during the week while they were at work and the house was empty.
Blimey, that was hard 😭 I must have lost half my hearing! But it was sorted in no time. Time-outs, saying "no", distractions... she just found all that funny. But being ignored—properly, unequivocally, and with no room for negotiation—that was a real blow for her.
Anyway, my latest one hasn't pushed things anywhere near that far. She’s just a typical dog. A bit of total ignoring for 15 or 20 minutes at the start, then less and less time, and now we’re all good.
I know this one well with my youngest — whenever I overstimulated her.
The moment I say no, she just keeps pushing and pushing (jumping on me, biting my clothes, etc.). And when she sees me repeating no, or that I'm not playing ball, she'll shoot off and nick something she's not supposed to, because she knows we'll come running after her. And she finds it hilarious.
I'm not naturally the assertive type with my big ones either. That said, I absolutely will not tolerate any aggressive behaviour — zero exceptions there.
Some dogs — and you really do have to get your head around this, and I've had a few like that — see a "no" or a "stop that" as a form of attention. And they're chuffed, because they've got exactly what they wanted. Their human noticed them.
When my little one used to jump on me and bite my clothes, as I said, it was a firm no, and then I'd ignore her, picking up some activity — often a pretend one — while staying on my feet, because sitting down I'm an easy target for those big scratchy paws and those leaps 😅
And I'd ignore her until she stopped. And when I say ignore... Obviously she'd carry on jumping on me, doubling her efforts to get my attention at first, and pulling at my clothes like mad. But I ignored her, and if she was really taking the mick, still without making eye contact, I'd only let out a bit of irritation... but sort of as if I were muttering to myself. Like, I'd pull my sleeve back (without looking at her), huffing in an exasperated sort of way; if she nipped my bum (😂), I'd rub my sore bum without looking at her — and all those little exasperated tics came out. The deep sigh, yanking my sleeve back by pulling my arm away from her quite sharply...
@Bangdji yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head from the start – I’ve been so anxious about this dog and obviously that leads to some... problematic results!
But Ziggy has made massive progress since my first posts. For example, after a morning of playing with his mates, he’s sleeping at my feet right now; he’s learned how to settle at home and sleeps for several hours a day while I get on with things. The issues I’m having are more during his active hours, especially in the evening or during those peaks of excitement. I think you’re right though, I’ve got him used to far too much attention; he needs to learn how to be awake and full of beans at home without me being at his beck and call 100% of the time.
I have a feeling it’s going to be a long haul, but next time he starts pestering me for attention, I’m going to try to give him the cold shoulder. The trouble is, that’s usually when he does something he shouldn't (like pinching the cushions off the sofa) just to make sure I notice him. When I tell him "no", he shows his teeth and gets worked up, and I’m not really sure what else to do other than put him in a time-out for a few minutes.
Hi everyone,
Thanks for all the replies!
Just a quick clarification about the treats, as I can see many of you think it's a bit daft. It was the trainer—a specialist in 'positive reinforcement' (that's what they call it in Brazil, I'm not sure if the term is the same in the UK) back when he had a few lessons—who advised me to do that. In the beginning, when it wasn't happening often, it worked really well; he'd 'forget' his excitement to go and sniff around in the grass. These days, not so much.
I’ve certainly tried a firm 'no' and ignoring him, but when you have 90 lbs (about 6 stone 4) of dog jumping all over you—especially when you only weigh about 100 lbs (7 stone) yourself—and trying to mouth your arm, it's almost impossible. Ziggy just doesn't listen to 'no' at all when he’s in that state.
I’m well aware that I need to work on my authority, but at the moment it's not really working. I try to stand tall and use a deep voice (I'm quite small; when the dog stands on his hind legs, he's my height), but he can see right through it. Nowadays, I sometimes put him on his lead indoors, and he generally understands that it's a time-out and settles down. I’m also going to look for some 'on/off' games to play with him, though I feel like we’re starting from square one.
(Regarding the question about my partner: yes, the dog obeys him very easily. But there are a few factors at play. He never really looks after him; I mean, they live together in the same house, but he’s my dog, so I handle all the walks, the vet visits, and so on. Because of that, the dog hardly ever gets the 'opportunity' to get worked up around him. We also have very different views; he thinks giving the dog a nudge with his shoe to scare him is a show of authority, whereas I don’t agree with hitting or kicking, even if it’s not meant to hurt. I think the dog has recognised him as the pack leader. He’s much more likely to 'attack' me, misbehave, and so on, the moment my partner leaves the room. Mind you, I have to admit Ziggy seems to appreciate that kind of boundary, given that he ADORES my partner—who only likes him in very small doses. He can get a nudge from a shoe and be back for a cuddle a minute later. Maybe he just doesn’t understand the difference in 'methods' between the two of us...)
Whatever you do, don't try to distract him when he's pushing boundaries that much...
And definitely not with treats in this situation 😅
You distract them with a toy or something nice when they're asking politely but you aren't able to give them your time right then. Or if they get too over-excited seeing another dog on a walk, for example—you give them a toy or something while they're waiting to be let off the lead to play with their mates.
But Ziggy is really pushing his luck here; you need to be a bit firmer... At this stage, he needs to understand that he gets NOTHING for this behaviour.
As mentioned before, Ziggy is maturing and it seems he’s taking his frustration out on you a bit when things don't go his way (or if you aren't moving fast enough at the start of a walk; he gets so overexcited about heading out that he vents his energy on you).
If he follows you around the house or pesters you, just say "No!" or whatever word you use, and ignore him. Even if he’s nipping at your clothes or chasing you, just ignore him and don't give him any eye contact.
My dog didn’t go that far when she was a pup. If she’d barked, I’d have done the same—ignored her and carried on. However, if she’d started baring her teeth, I’d have been absolutely fuming. Not hitting her, of course, but I would have made my annoyance very clear. Something like: "Excuse me?" If she growled again: "Have you lost your mind? Clear off!" At my place, they don’t know "go to your bed" because they don’t have their own assigned sleeping spots (there are several of them and they sleep wherever they like). My "clear off" is the equivalent of "go to your bed", "go to sleep", or "settle down". Basically, it means "you’ve crossed a line, go and sit somewhere else, anywhere you want, just be quiet and stay out of my sight, but stop it."
And then I just ignore them.
Hi,
I remember your previous posts about Ziggy a bit 🙂
At home, I’ve got three dogs who are absolute nightmares with me if they don’t get what they want. Why? Because they know they can get me to cave... they know if they ask, I’ll give them attention: games, walks, interaction...
They can sulk for hours or get all restless.
With my mum, who has less to do with them but is, above all, more... strict and consistent; she still looks after them, but when it’s no longer their time, it’s just not their time, and that’s that. Nothing will make her change her mind.
They’re as good as gold with her.
In your previous posts, I recall Ziggy was already quite a lively young boy, and you were a very worried owner ready to do anything for him.
It’s lovely to be willing to do anything for your dog. But I think I mentioned it at the time... I used to overstimulate my own dog so much when she was a puppy. Honestly... constantly. To be fair, she just never stopped.
And I’ve learnt over time that what I thought was doing the right thing was actually a mistake: a dog needs to learn how to settle too. Once they’ve had a walk and have everything they need, they need to learn how to be calm and rest (especially a little puppy). They wake up afterwards with a completely different kind of energy—they're still full of beans, but they're in a much better headspace. With my little one, I used to put her down for enforced naps.
Try doing some "on/off" or "stop-start" games to teach him how to manage his emotions and excitement levels gradually. Putting him in a different room or leaving the room yourself prevents any real learning in this specific situation, which is why you're running into trouble outdoors where isolation isn't an option.
Do these "on/off" games several times a day in short bursts. As he improves, you can do them less often or make the sessions longer, depending on his progress, his motivation, and how you're both feeling.
If things get really unmanageable at times, try sending him to his bed for a few seconds or minutes—don't tell him off, but be firm. Then call him back to reward him or go over to him once he’s calmed down. It’s a quick exercise, but if you do it frequently, it’ll help the pup learn how to settle gradually. It also means you’re the one taking the lead on when to interact, which can be quite necessary during certain phases. Once things have improved, it won't matter so much who initiates the contact...
There are plenty of other tips and methods for calming a dog down, so do a bit of research and find what works best for both you and your dog.
It sounds like a case of over-excitement and a lack of self-control. This is perfectly normal for a young dog, of course, but it’s something you’ll need to work on. Treats are a great help, but you’ll get much better results by teaching him a "leave it" command rather than trying to lure him away; as you’ve already noticed, if he finds something more interesting, luring just won't work.
Keep doing what you’re doing and give him a bit of a time-out when he gets too wound up.
When you’re out and about, you can hold him by his collar to stop him jumping up at you, while asking him for a "sit".
It’ll take a bit of time and consistency, but it’s certainly not impossible! :)
