I'm feeling so guilty about having my dog put down

Personally, I’d also suggest waiting a bit! A few months! You might unintentionally end up taking a dislike to your puppy because you don’t see the same qualities your old dog had! We’re all a bit fragile after losing a loved one, and I know that for a long time, I’m cross with the whole world!

Hi there,

My heart really goes out to you in your grief. I completely understand that feeling of guilt at the thought of getting another little companion. I went through exactly the same thing at the start of the year when my beloved Bébé passed away after 17 years of being together 24/7. I’d promised myself I would never get another dog.

After seven months, I finally gave in and adopted Billy from the RSPCA five weeks ago. Billy is as different from Swingy as can be (personality, looks... everything). Even so, and despite the fact that I’m loving Billy more and more each day, I still miss my Bébé and I still carry that sense of guilt.

But life must go on, and while Billy now gets the very best I can give him, a part of my heart will always belong to Swingy. I’ve realised, though, that love isn't replaced by a second dog – it multiplies.

Your new dog will never replace your girl, who will always be one of a kind; he is her successor, and that’s something else entirely.

Sending you so much strength from the bottom of my heart.

😔

I’m so sorry for the loss of your dog.

You shouldn't feel guilty about your decision; you spared her from a great deal of suffering because of her illness.

As for the second dog, I agree with what’s already been said – you shouldn't compare the dog you had with the new one. There’s honestly no comparison, even if it is tempting. It’s like comparing your first child to your second; it’s impossible and just isn't healthy.

Personally, I waited a very long time before getting another dog, though that was also down to other things happening at the time.

I’m the type of person who gets a new pet straight away after losing one; I honestly think I’d go round the bend otherwise.

I don’t go for the same breed, though, just so I don’t end up constantly comparing them.

I pick out the loveliest photos to get them printed (I’ve got a whole section of my kitchen wall covered in pictures of my past dogs and cats, so I can say hello to them every now and then...)

I completely agree with fleur; it really needs to be for the 'right reasons'. You shouldn't be doing it in the hope of finding the same personality traits or expecting them to be exactly like her, and so on.

You need to have processed your grief and truly want to start a brand new, different relationship...

It might sound a bit cheesy, but maybe try writing a letter to your dog and burying it in one of her favourite spots. Put down how you're feeling, say your goodbyes, and so on.

It’s a bit of a cliché, I know, but it really might help you feel a bit better.

I hear what you’re saying, Ltnn. I just meant that perhaps it’s worth waiting until you’ve had time to grieve properly before —considering— adoption? It’s so hard to know in advance whether you’ll really be ready in two months’ time.

Mind you, as Maja said, maybe some people need to focus their love on a new pet to help them move forward. Personally, I see things a bit differently, but I don’t think there’s a single "right" way to go about it, if such a thing even exists.

I’m only suggesting you give it some thought to try and avoid any potential heartache or regrets...

It’s often better to take your time rather than rushing into a big decision, and to wait until you’re feeling a bit more at peace, too.

Hi there,

I won't be getting my new dog for another two months (once they've been weaned).