Why don't I feel any love for my dog?

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Hi everyone!

So, I’ve got a bit of a problem and I’m not sure how to handle it. I can't seem to love my puppy.

A few months ago, my girlfriend and I decided to get a dog for hers because he was very lonely after losing his playmate, whom I never knew. He was constantly crying; he'd never been alone before, so we thought the best way to make him happy was to find him a new friend.

We looked at a lot of breeders. My girlfriend was adamant about getting a puppy because her dog is very dominant and she felt he’d never have accepted an adult dog. I wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of getting a pup, especially since the little guy was meant to be for me too, but I didn’t feel ready to train a dog. I’ve only ever had one dog in my life and she was always very calm and obedient—I never really had to do much training.

We talked at length about potential breeds, but the only one I really wanted was a wolfdog, and there was no way I was getting one without feeling capable of training it and providing all the space it needs. In the end, we adopted a Dalmatian from a breeder that left a lot to be desired, but we really fell for him.

He’s so stubborn; he keeps getting into the same mischief even after I've tried everything to stop him: jumping on the kitchen worktops, raiding the bin, pooing on the rug at night and sometimes even urinating, despite being house-trained during the day and being able to hold it all night—he’s done it before. He’s 6 months old and since we got him, I just don't feel anything for him. When I see him, I feel resentful, even though I’m doing everything I can to bond with him. I walk him, I play with him, I feed him, but nothing works; I feel like I’m forcing myself to stroke him or show him any affection. I don’t know what to do anymore. My girlfriend is very strict about what her dogs should and shouldn't do, and I was counting on her for the training, but I’m the one who spends the most time with the dogs while she's at work. I can’t take the stress anymore; all our arguments are about the puppy and his training, and I’m starting to think things were better before he arrived. But I can't bring myself to separate the two dogs. I just feel like a heartless monster, and it’s horrible to realise how much I resent a puppy who’s just going through the same phase as every other dog before him.

If you have any advice, I’d be really grateful. Thanks in advance! 😊

Translated from French
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27 answers
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  • Bobkat
    Bobkat Icon representing the flag French
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    Anyway, he’s definitely put his advert up... If there’s no reply by tomorrow, you can report it.

    What advert? I must have missed it.

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    Loup Blanc
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    Anyway, he’s definitely got his advert in... If there’s no reply by tomorrow, you can report it as spam.
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    Loup Blanc
    Loup blanc Icon representing the flag French
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    I dunno, like slipping in an advert and being sure it won't get deleted... Funny how they’ve listed two rodents. Hmm... why create an account just to reply to this one....

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    ?
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    One person... two accounts... the same post. But why? Yeah... but why would she make it up? 🤪
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    Loup Blanc
    Loup blanc Icon representing the flag French
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    Same person... two accounts... the same post. But why?

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    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Erm, why??????????😔 it looks real, unfortunately :(

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    ?
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    I think the problem is that you didn't really want this puppy and you didn't get him for the right reasons (just for the sake of the other dog?). Besides, a puppy can already have its own personality. I don’t know much about Wolfdogs, but I reckon they’re quite tough to train, so if you haven’t got any motivation... you’re struggling to adjust to the restrictions that come with life with a puppy. Of course, life with a dog has its downsides, but there are so many more positives once you’re willing to see them... When I got Olympe, my baby Golden Retriever (she was a birthday present), I struggled a bit at the very start and my fiancé had to look after her for the first few days. I was already "overwhelmed" with Prince, who was still a baby, plus my old Wolfdog, my cat Cannèl, my small furries... basically, I didn’t want another puppy. But I eventually got to know her for who she was, rather than the image I had of a puppy, with all her flaws and qualities. It hasn't always been easy, but now I love her like she’s my own baby :) things will get better in time if you put the effort in.... don't forget that this dog didn't ask for any of this either ^^. At the end of the day, a puppy needs training and it’s only natural that they’ll get into mischief. You just need to get a bit of perspective on your life with this little one.
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    Tania28
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    It’s all been said. Above all, don't get a wolfdog; you’ll be completely unable to handle it. You have to adapt to the wolfdog, you’ll never be able to mould them to your life or your whims...

    And you should talk through your frustration with your friend, because the initial idea of 'getting a puppy' for your resident dog... that wasn't a good idea to start with (a puppy can be dominant, regardless of what you might think). You should only get a dog when everyone is on board with the idea and everyone is prepared to look after it.

    Hi Loup blanc 😉

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    M
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    This is a pretty common situation, actually. It’s not as rare as you might think. Plus, since you weren't the one who wanted the puppy in the first place, it doesn't exactly help matters... Just like @Petyrlechon, I struggled to bond with my dog at first. And that’s despite the fact that I was the one who wanted him! I did my research and looked into things for over six months before deciding. Mind you, I was pushed a bit by my parents, especially my mum; otherwise, I probably would’ve waited a bit longer. Maybe that’s part of it. But the fact is, this puppy I’d wanted, pictured, and chosen wasn’t at all what I expected lol. He was very well-behaved—too well-behaved, even. No mischief, zero energy, he just slept all the time. It was nothing like what I’d imagined. To top it off, there’s been one health issue after another since the start; the vet is on a first-name basis with me now 😑 which didn't help. It’s not the financial side that bothers me, but it’s tough when your puppy always has something wrong even though you’re doing your absolute best. I found it really depressing at the start, but now I just get on with it and try to sort the problems out. Despite all that, it took several months for things to finally click with my little pup. Now he’s my big baby (nearly 8 stone at 8 months old!); he sleeps on my feet, sometimes even in bed with me. He follows me into the workshop just to be near me, and so on... Sometimes it just takes time. Before him, I had Ayrton, a Dogo Argentino, and that was completely different. The bond was instant. I assumed it would be the same with Odin, but it’s been a totally different experience.
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