Returning my puppy to the breeder. How will it affect him?

Thanks for all your comments and for sharing your experiences. I spent an hour today with a dog trainer. He was really honest. He didn’t just try to sell me a training package like the ten others I called. He actually listened, tried to understand our lifestyle, and was up-front about the fact that training him would take several hours every day. If we can’t put in that kind of time, it’s going to take much longer, and in the meantime, my son will suffer because his mum won't be able to look after him properly. I haven’t eaten in two days because he causes absolute chaos while we’re at the table. It’s been raining every day, so he won’t go outside and is constantly toileting in the house. I’m cleaning floors ten times a day in the short time I'm actually home. My son stays up on the sofa because Harry is so hyper and scares him when he plays on the floor. He takes all his toys. My son isn’t even six yet, he doesn’t understand. I don't care about the money... I just want to fix my mistake and make sure he finds a loving family. We’ve discussed it as a family and have made the choice to return Harry to the breeder. My husband is going to call tomorrow. We hope it goes well and we’ll accept the breeder’s terms, though I’d like it to happen quickly now as it’s so difficult emotionally. I’m absolutely devastated and I feel so guilty. Anyway, thank you all for being so kind. Sophie

Have you thought about a breed-specific rescue? I had a quick look and found a Cocker Spaniel rehoming group on Facebook; maybe they could help you find him a new home? It’s better to do it now before you get too attached and everyone ends up miserable. Evening, I can promise you that with a group like the one mentioned above, your puppy would find a new family within two days... You’ll be flooded with enquiries. Breeders don’t always worry too much about the owners' circumstances, and when they do and turn someone down, they get slated for it... But in my view, the very first requirement for getting a puppy is taking at least a fortnight’s leave. Without that, most people feel exactly the way you’re feeling, and that’s perfectly normal. As adults, they don't have massive exercise requirements, but they do need regular walks (around an hour a day, with one longer walk during the week, suits them perfectly), and most importantly, plenty of scents and stimulation. A Cocker and a child your little one's age will usually become best mates. But this breed is very clingy—they're real "velcro dogs". Cockers have a vital need to be around their owners. Everything can be managed, including being left alone, but it takes a few months of work and a fair bit of patience and determination. It’s actually very similar to the mindset parents have when a baby is born, except we don’t tend to see it the same way. I don't think it would have crossed your mind to say you couldn't cope with the needs of a month-old baby who needed waking up several times a night. Whatever your final decision, here’s what you need to know: a puppy takes several weeks of work to settle in properly and several months for training. The first year is the most important and requires a time commitment of about 2 to 3 hours a day. Good luck with everything, and don’t hesitate to contact a dedicated Cocker Spaniel rescue to help with an adoption. The teams are usually very committed to their mission.

Hi there, a dog that age loves playing and you also need to make sure they learn to play on their own, and not always with their owners. It’s good to give them some playtime with and without you, so they don’t end up being constantly clingy. I’ve got an 11-month-old who’s wrecked quite a few things since I got him, but I’ve noticed it's been getting better since he hit 9 months. I was exhausted too, but with time and a bit of thought, you learn how to manage the day better. I used to get really worked up because my floors were a mess, but I’ve realised that at the end of the day, it's not that big a deal; I'll just clean up when the dog is having a snooze. Looking back, you’ll find you start reacting differently and the dog won’t be quite so demanding. My dog used to hate me leaving to go to the shops or whatever, but things have improved over the last two months. I actually bought a crate (he’s got plenty of room in there) and he goes in it now because it really helps with his anxiety, even though I’d been dead set against getting one from the start. Someone suggested it and I didn't think it would work at all, but honestly, he behaves much better now. Putting a t-shirt in with him that smells of me was a great tip. I also bought him an antler chew (a double one) and it keeps him busy for ages. I take it away after a bit, but it gives you enough time to have your dinner or get something else done. They love playing fetch with a ball or sturdy soft toys. Don't give up just yet because I was in a right state too, but you’ll see it passes—especially if you take him out for walks. He’ll snooze afterwards because he’s seen so many things and been exploring. I could never take my dog back to the rescue; it would make me feel sick. I’d rather stick it out, and my perseverance has paid off because there’s much less friction between my dog and me now. Bach flower remedies really help (they are just gentle drops) to calm the dog down. I was skeptical about those kinds of things, but frankly, they do work. And he won't be this hyper forever, either. In the last two months, he’s had much calmer periods. It’s normal for them to be a bit loopy at first because everything is new and they don’t listen straight away, but it comes with time. Just take a breath—at least he sleeps through the night, so you can recover a bit. I’ve also been going to training classes once or twice a week since September, and he’s always knackered after that. Hang in there, I really understand how exhausted you must be. My husband and I take it in turns, which helps! We tend to try and do everything in one day, which is impossible, and then we feel defeated. You have to learn to let go (not always easy), but once you tell yourself "okay, I'm not going to get annoyed," you manage to get through the day much better.

A bit of a rascal, I’d say lol! She’s well-behaved but she always has her "mad half-hour". It’s a heck of a lot of work at the start; I thought I was ready too, but I really struggled at first. Mind you, that was just the first few months. I give her deer antlers to chew on, a Kong filled with her favourite wet food, and some puzzle toys for when I’m not spending the whole day with her. To be honest, you’ve just got to keep them as busy as possible while you’re out. 🙄