3-month-old Australian Shepherd puppy — rebellious / aggressive

Smaugie2022
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Hello everyone,

I'm writing here because I've had an Australian Shepherd puppy at home for just over a month now.

My partner and I got him at 2 months (and about a week) old.

For a little while now, he's been completely kicking off at me whenever I tell him off:

Jumping on the sofa and being told no — for example.

At first he'd just bark at me from the floor, but now he's started snapping.

He just goes completely out of control. He jumps at me, barks in my face, growls, and snaps.

I've been seeing a dog trainer and we've been having lessons with her. During one session, she put some food at my feet and told me to pinch him if he went for it. When I did, he kicked off. When she saw that, she told me "that calls for immediate submission" — basically, when he reacts like that, I need to hold him by the scruff of his neck until he submits (without pressing, just holding). So I've been trying to apply that, but it honestly feels like it's getting worse. It can easily go on for a whole hour before he gives in.

Yesterday I let out a firm, deep "NO" — the puppy immediately went into submission, wagging his tail, and came back to me belly to the ground... with a little bark at the end, mind you.

Today the big authoritative "NO" barely works anymore and he still rebels.

I feel like a terrible owner when I have to hold him into submission, but in those moments he just doesn't listen to me at all. Nothing works.

I did raise my concerns with the trainer, saying I was worried about making him aggressive, but she reassured me that it just puts him back in his place.

Tonight and tomorrow I'm looking after a friend's Border Collie at mine alongside him, and he's been aggressive towards him too at times. I've already managed to head off 2 fights by calming them both down and telling them off, but I'm feeling a bit disheartened right now.

Worth mentioning that with my partner, he never kicks off anywhere near as badly — he might bark, but if my partner stands up or raises his voice, he submits straight away.

So clearly the problem is coming from me — at the start I used to pick him up a lot and let him on the sofa when he'd sit and wait for the "come on then", so I've probably given him too much freedom in the house and he's stopped respecting me. But the more I make him submit, the more I worry I'm going to lose his trust completely. He even growls at me when I come near him while he's chewing a bone now. Although weirdly, with his food bowl I can tell him to stop and he will.

Any advice would be massively appreciated.

I've also tried time-outs instead of the submission hold when he kicks off, but even if he comes back calm, he's straight back to it the next time I tell him off.

#getting bullied by a puppy basically 🤣

Translated from French
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24 answers
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Puppies have a special status in the dog world, and we really need to stop with this whole "hierarchy" nonsense as a way to be heard. A dog isn't going to decide whether or not to listen just because they eat before or after us, or because we show them affection.

    And so what if he’s comfortable? Should he be terrified of you and cower on the floor every time you put a foot wrong?

    I’ve got nothing against owners who talk about hierarchy when they actually know what they’re doing. But when a trainer throws out vague concepts without any explanation, like "Oh, you’re treating him like a member of the family" (I mean, what exactly are we talking about here?), so what? A puppy nipping or nicking some food and running off to play isn’t an abuse of power. It’s just a puppy, being a puppy. What does an animal care if the food belongs to you or your neighbour? They haven't got a clue. He’ll learn, just like with the nipping; he’ll learn that humans don’t enjoy playing like that, that our skin is thinner, and that his teeth hurt.

    Be happy that you have a puppy who is comfortable around you and who trusts you enough to sleep soundly.

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    T
    Tessa2022 Icon representing the flag French
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    Hi there, I’m in almost the exact same boat as you. I have a 3-month-old Australian Shepherd pup, and things are really tough because she nips all the time. As soon as you take a step, she’s there—it’s likely just play, but those needle-sharp teeth really hurt; I dread to think what it’ll be like in a few months! I had a behavioural assessment with a trainer, and her take was that our pup has a lot of character (standard for a Shepherd, I suppose!), isn't fearful enough (apparently the fact she sleeps on her back shows she’s never on guard, so she’s not afraid), and that we’ve been treating her too much like a member of the family when dogs should be at the bottom of the pack hierarchy. Regarding the biting, she told us to keep her on a lead at all times, and as soon as she nips, we're supposed to grab it and give it a sharp tug... I have to say, it worked for about two days, but now she thinks it’s a game! I'm still quite sceptical about that method... The problem is that everything is a game to her, so if we push her away with our hands, it just winds her up more; she comes back at us faster and harder, and now she’s started jumping up. Regarding food, I’m getting mine used to it by showing her that it’s my food. When I feed her, I move my hand near the bowl, take it away, and then give it back. I do the same with her bones, and she doesn’t react anymore... but you have to do it often, as with everything. Since she doesn't listen to commands at all yet (except for "sit" and "stay" before she gets her bowl), I stop her from getting on the sofa by giving a quick blast of a computer air duster in the air without her seeing me (be careful never to aim it at her!). Hearing the "psshh" sound stops her immediately. It was the trainer's idea, though I suppose it’s debatable—it feels like there are as many methods as there are trainers! That’s what makes it so tricky. In any case, the main thing is to give them heaps of praise (a massive fuss, even if you look a bit daft, or treats if you prefer) as soon as she does something good. I’ve also just joined a dog training club for obedience and socialisation with other dogs. But if it’s any consolation, I also feel like a "bad owner" at times. @Bangdji is right in saying that she’s still very young and things can be sorted out. You clearly want to put the work in to make it work, so... it’ll be fine! 👌
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    Docline
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    I honestly think that regardless of the trainer, it’s always going to be counterproductive with an Aussie puppy.

    Why not consider asking a behaviourist to come to your home to observe you? Not just for the dog’s sake, but to assess your relationship with him (and vice versa, of course).

    An Aussie absolutely dotes on his humans and lives to please them, provided you’ve managed to earn his trust,

    and as long as you’re meeting his basic needs (on top of food, water, and sleep) =

    No. 1 = PLAYING with doggy pals; the Australian Shepherd is a very affectionate breed, and everything falls apart if he doesn't get his daily dose of socialising with dogs he likes.

    (You’re looking at at least 18 months of making sure you arrange that daily fix of friendship and canine playtime).

    No. 2 = PLAYING with his humans, with people he meets, with the cat—anyone really, as long as he’s not on his own.

    Once those basics are sorted, anyone can get an Aussie to do what they want; they are the most obedient dogs you could ever meet.

    Translated from French
    Kikaah
    Kikaah Icon representing the flag French
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    Head over to Facebook and find the ‘la team cap dog’ group, then send them a DM to ask for the contact details of a good trainer in your local area 😉

    Translated from French
    Smaugie2022
    Smaugie2022 Icon representing the flag French
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    Sorry for the typos, I’m writing this on my iPhone and autocorrect isn’t working on here.
    Translated from French
    Smaugie2022
    Smaugie2022 Icon representing the flag French
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    Thank you for the replies. I hate doing this to him as well 🥺🥺🥺 I feel like I'm bullying him and losing our bond completely. I’ll try the ignoring method, but to be fair, I tried it once and the little dragon nipped me in the back 😂. The sofa thing is definitely my fault, I’m not denying that, and I’m the first to admit I’m a bit of a rubbish owner for him at the moment. Mind you, he understood the rule about not stealing food straight away – he also always waits for the "okay" before eating his dinner or a bone. I went with this trainer because she’d handled my friend’s Border Collie really well, but he had a much easier temperament. Then, when I’m pinning him down, I always let go as soon as he calms down, but he just starts up again within a minute, which is why it can take an hour sometimes. If anyone knows a trainer who uses different methods, I’m open to suggestions too. As for walks, I take him out plenty, but he’s a nervous soul – he won't budge once he's off his usual route near the house, until we get to the park haha. I’ve actually stopped working (as a waitress) for a bit so I can fix my relationship with him, so I’m going to be patient and take things steady.
    Translated from French
    Flip-Cockwood
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    Hi there, It’s perfectly normal for a dog to start pushing boundaries at this age. It’s just a sign that they’ve got a bit of spirit. I couldn't tell you how many times between the ages of 2 and 4 months my dog barked, growled, and snapped at me. Personally, I just ignore that kind of behaviour and follow through with my command until I get the desired result (provided the request is reasonable, of course). If he gets too worked up, a time-out works well, but he needs to understand the link between being moved away and the expected behaviour. A time-out isn't a punishment for not obeying; it’s simply a way to remove the dog from whatever is overstimulating him. PS: Pinning a dog to the ground and holding them down by force doesn't really achieve much... This move, which many people copy thinking it’s how dogs behave, doesn't translate when done by a human. When dogs do this to one another, they can feel the tension in the neck muscles releasing, which is something we’re unable to sense. This gesture isn't actually used to "submit" a dog, but rather to help them return to a more relaxed state.
    Translated from French
    Kikaah
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    “during one of those times, or when there was food at my feet, I had to pinch the dog if he went near it”

    -> “He even growls at me now when I approach him while he’s eating his bone”

    If he’s associated high-value food with being pinched, it’s only natural that he’s wary of you now. You need to make him realise that you aren’t a threat.

    Translated from French
    B
    Bangdji Icon representing the flag French
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    Bones and other treats are privileges.

    If you let him eat in peace and you just walk past and he growls, give him a firm "Excuse me?" If he stops, say "That's better". If he keeps going, take the bone away. Privilege over.

    If he kicks off or tries to nip you, use a deep voice: "Excuse me? Are you growling? Growling at me?" Stand up straight, take the bone and leave. Give him the cold shoulder (not for an hour, just a bit—let him sulk and calm down, then it's fine).

    I once had a dog who was a real barker. Not aggressive, just a barker. Best way to get her to stop? Ignore her. Completely. She grew out of it in a few days (though she was an adult, got her from a rescue at 2 years old).

    After that, the usual stuff. Once the puppy has calmed down, go back to him: "Want to play? Want your bone? A cuddle?" And plenty of positive moments to build a bond.

    Is he growling again? Acting like the big boss again? Same thing: look outraged, use a deep voice, give him a bit of a stern talking-to (not screaming at him, mind you, just making it clear you're not happy).

    And walk away, leave him to it. If he barks or sulks, well, let him. He'll calm down eventually. Then, you go back to him...

    When he starts to get the hang of it (waiting for the sofa command again, not saying a word when you walk past while he's chewing his bone), give him lots of praise, or just a kind word, some fuss and cuddles 🙂

    "See, you big silly? When you're good, everything's fine." Then enjoy your puppy, the good times, and play.

    He should figure out where his interests lie pretty quickly. Good boy? Fuss, games, sofa cuddles, bones.

    Puppy acting like a little terror? No sofa, no bone, no attention.

    Of course, this is a process that needs time to settle in. You can't just do it for 2 days and think it’s not working, or that it’s sorted only for him to test you again 5 days later.

    You have to be consistent over the long haul. He needs to know you won't back down and that a little tough guy gets nothing by barking and acting like the boss, while a good lad gets everything 🙃

    Obviously, make sure he's burning off enough energy... Walks, new places, doggy friends to teach him some manners, games and exploring should be on the cards for the little terror.

    Hang in there, he's very young, you can definitely turn things around, no doubt about it!

    Translated from French
    B
    Bangdji Icon representing the flag French
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    I agree with docline; apart from very rare exceptions, I don’t really see much real aggression in a 3-month-old puppy. I’m not a fan of forced submission or power struggles either. Your pup is young and bright; he’s perfectly capable of learning through training (including understanding what’s off-limits). You mentioned you spend an hour battling with him. You’ve clearly got the patience, then... but perhaps not quite the right methods. I don’t think he’s acting out just because you’ve allowed him on the sofa. Especially not regarding the "come" command. All puppies test the boundaries. They act like little tough guys. When my dog was a pup, she went through a "teenage phase" every three months! 😅 One month of hard work, one month of getting things back on track, and one month of peace before... surprise! The sequel 😂. He’s only small. Without needing to be heavy-handed, you still have the upper hand. If he jumps on the sofa before you’ve given the word, hop, get him straight back down. If he "mouths off" at you, that’s not your problem. Just ignore him. When he comes back in a calm manner, that’s when he gets permission. If he growls on the sofa again, he’s off. The sofa is a privilege.
    Translated from French

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