My cat has passed away, how do I cope?

Hi there, I’ve had a look at your profile and noticed you’re apparently 16... I’m quite a bit older than you, old enough to be your parent actually, so I hope you don't mind me being a bit informal with you. It’s always so hard losing a pet, whether it’s a cat, a dog, or any other animal... and I really do know what it’s like. I lost a dog when I was 25 and it was incredibly difficult. Take the time you need to grieve and talk to people who you feel are ready to listen. You can also come back onto the site to talk about it if you feel the need. Just keep in mind that you made her happy and she’s at peace now. You might not see it, but I believe she’s still close to you... you might even get signs of her presence, whether you believe in that sort of thing or not.

It’s so hard to grieve, it really is. My 15-year-old cat passed away a month ago and I just feel empty. I’m crying all the time and I’ve lost interest in everything; I’m only eating and drinking because I have to. When he left, he took a part of me with him. I’m not the person I used to be. I miss him so much—the void he's left is unbearable and it eats away at me day after day. It’s so, so difficult being without him. My baby is gone and I need to find a way to come to terms with it.

As Blue Cat says, we’ve unfortunately all been through this awful experience; I lost my first companion in his 18th year last June. He was my one and only pet my whole life, my feline soulmate... I knew losing him would be heartbreaking, but it’s actually been so much more than that... What helped me was telling myself that I gave this little furball 18 happy years, and that I did everything for his well-being and happiness until his very last breath. Being a total animal lover all my life, I just didn't feel anything for any other cats I came across... Six months later, I was chatting with a friend who fosters for a local rescue, and she asked if I was thinking about getting another cat. I told her no, that I hadn't finished grieving for my big softie, and she very rightly said: "You’ll never truly get over it, it’s not possible." She was right, so I went and rescued an animal in need. I deliberately chose a very different cat: a light-coloured adult female, whereas my old boy was a black male I’d had since he was a tiny kitten. I didn't want to run the risk of trying to "find" him in her. It’s a different companion, a different relationship—you have to be careful not to compare. Today, I’m doing everything to make sure this girl is as happy as she can be too, and my big lad is still, and always will be, in my thoughts.

Hi Rowneen, I really feel for you and I truly understand your grief. My Maine Coon, Cysko, passed away on 12th February from kidney failure, and nearly two months on, the heartache is still just as huge. Not a day goes by without me crying and, like you, it feels like it’s never-ending. But I know that the pain will eventually ease, without us ever forgetting a single moment we spent with them or all the happiness they brought us. Wishing you lots of strength, Marie

Hello, It’s always heartbreaking to lose a cat, even when you have several others. Everyone here knows that pain. Only time can ease the ache, but no cat is ever replaceable. Chanel will stay in your heart for the rest of your life. When you’re a cat lover, one thought that can help with the grieving process is that in every cat—whether those you have now or those yet to come—there is a little bit of the beloved cat you've lost. This helped me when I lost my first beloved Siamese. I still dream about him sometimes. Sending you strength; Chanel is at peace now.