When is it time to end my cat's suffering?

Hi everyone, unfortunately I’m going through the same thing you have with my little Muscade, who is 9. She had a cough and was struggling to breathe, and she'd lost some weight. We got the diagnosis last Thursday: pleural effusion, likely cancer because the fluid was bloody and there’s a mass pressing on her windpipe. She’s had a chest tap and she’s on diuretics and antibiotics. I can see she’s breathing faster than before and she spends a lot of time lying down with her head hanging low; it's absolutely heartbreaking. That being said, she is still eating, grooming herself, playing a bit and coming for cuddles. I just don’t know what to do, and I’m so anxious at the thought of her suffering or suffocating. Even so, I can’t bring myself to have her 'put down' yet just to save myself the heartache, as she’s still living her little life, even if she is tired...

Hi Coco, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I feel like Garfield is coming to the end of the road now... the behaviour you're describing suggests as much. As @Lebronzé pointed out, cats don't complain; you have to read between the lines of their behaviour and make *the* decision—the hardest one of all. If being there with him is too difficult for you, which I completely understand, then it’s a good thing if a friend has offered to go. I honestly think you shouldn't wait much longer. Sending you lots of strength. These moments are awful, but sadly necessary. It's the final act of love you can show your cat.

I’m so sorry to hear this. Pain is definitely the deciding factor when it comes to end-of-life choices, especially as we all know pets don’t tend to complain. I know that at times like this you feel completely lost and drained, so I don’t want to confuse you even more. I’ll just say again that only your vet can give you a clear picture of what's happening, but sometimes you really have to push them for an answer. Ask them if your cat is actually in pain or if he’s "only" unsettled because he realises things aren't the same. Ask what might happen if you let nature take its course: will Garfield just drift off and not wake up (a peaceful end), or will it be a difficult struggle instead?... How much time is left? (A tough question for a vet, but they might be able to gauge how much Garfield has gone downhill since your last visit.) In a way, I’ve been "lucky" never to have been in your shoes. My own pets have all passed away suddenly, presenting me with a fait accompli. In the end, that’s almost easier to deal with because there’s nothing left to do or decide. I think in your situation, even with all the advice in the world, you’re the only one who can make and live with that decision. So, please know that whatever you decide—whether it’s right now or later if the situation allows—it will definitely be the right choice. I’ll be thinking of you this morning, hoping for some reassuring news and that there’s still some GOOD quality time left for little Garfield. Regarding the final moments, I know everyone is different, but having been through it recently (not euthanasia, but a "peaceful" death nonetheless), I couldn’t have been anywhere else at that time. Euthanasia is a "good death", if you can call it that. We do it to prevent a much worse end, and in my eyes, it’s one of the greatest acts of love. Even if you have a friend there to support YOU through it, I think it’s better if you’re present—for your cat, of course, but for yourself too. Otherwise, you might spend a long time wondering if you made the right call. But do whatever feels right for you; everyone is different. 🙄 Sending you lots of strength for now.

Hi again, Thanks for the update. Heart hypertrophy gives him a good lease of life and, from the sounds of it, without any suffering. Some cats respond really well to treatment and go on to live for many more years. And if he does eventually pass away from cardiac arrest one day, it will be very quick and painless, which is at least some comfort. Until then, make the most of your time together.

Good evening, I’m just checking in to give you an update on Garfield after his ultrasound on Wednesday: the results show an enlarged heart. He’s been on diuretics morning and night since then, and I can already see that he’s doing much better. He’s started jumping around everywhere again, he’s eating, going back up the stairs, and getting back into mischief... he’s being so cuddly. I know his condition won't be cured and that he’ll probably pass away from a heart attack eventually, but seeing him like this really does me a world of good. That’s the latest update.

For me, the hardest part wasn't the euthanasia... I saw it as a relief for him. I suffered so much beforehand, though. I was constantly in tears. I’d realised that I was going to have to let him go. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him, but it was so tough. Knowing that you're spending your final hours together... it’s an indescribable pain.

It seems quite a few of us are in the same boat... it's so hard to let them go, and I think it's one of the toughest decisions you ever have to make... but seeing them in pain is just unbearable 😔

I know exactly what you’re going through. At the beginning of August, my 13-year-old Salem seemed in great shape... Two weeks later, I noticed he was breathing rapidly. I took him to the vet; the diagnosis was pneumonia and fluid on the lungs. He was started on a course of steroids, diuretics and antibiotics. After six days of treatment, his condition worsened... with every breath his chest would heave and his hindquarters would tense up... he became completely lethargic. Since my vet was away on holiday, I went to see a second vet. He did an X-ray and told me that the results didn't look good at all... the heart seemed displaced, as did the trachea. He still had fluid on his lungs and inflammation everywhere. That’s when he mentioned a tumour. He added high doses of steroids to the treatment. Three days later, my cat was struggling even more with every breath. His whole body was moving; his head would lunge forward as he strained. Flared nostrils, mouth slightly open. I asked the vet then if there was any hope of him recovering, breathing more easily, or having any quality of life. He said no. I told him that in that case, we should stop everything. It was heartbreaking to see him like that. To make matters worse, he’d become skin and bone. He was put to sleep on 23rd August. I miss him terribly, but I know he’s in a better place now.

I completely understand how you feel; mine passed away just a few days ago and I’m absolutely heartbroken. I didn’t want to put her through another drainage and 48 hours at the vet's... only for it to come back the following week... and I couldn't leave her like that. In my case, it was tumours that caused it, but I know that if it’s a heart issue, it can be manageable if the underlying problem is treated. It does mean more tests, though, so your vet will be able to give you the best advice.