my kitten is attacking me, what should I do?

?
Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
Report

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some help because I’m starting to lose my patience a bit.

I have a kitten who seems to have a "split personality"; sometimes he’s absolutely adorable and plays nicely with all his toys, but other times he becomes a real tyrant, ESPECIALLY with me.

To give you a bit of context (which might explain his behaviour), we adopted him about 3 weeks ago, so he must be just over 3 months old now. At the moment, we’re living in a house with a dog that the cat is terrified of, so we keep him in our two bedrooms. This is about 320 square feet in total, including one room of about 110 square feet which is just for him with his toys, bowls, litter tray, and scratching post. We put him in there at night so he doesn’t get used to sleeping with us, but during the day he also has access to our bedroom as well as his own room.

To put it simply, sometimes when I go into the bedroom and just sit on my bed, he gives me a death stare, waits patiently until I’m not looking, and then pounces on me, scratching and biting. I’ve tried everything: scruffing him, saying no, or just letting him do it until he calms down (but it does hurt quite a bit). Nothing works... when I pick him up by the scruff, as soon as I put him back down, he goes right back on the attack. Yet, I play with him for at least two hours a day and he has everything he needs at all times.

So, the only solution I’ve found is leaving him alone in the room, but it makes me sad because I’d love to be able to watch a film in peace without having to shut him away, or just read or have a rest.

We’re moving into a flat in a few days where he’ll have more space and a balcony for some fresh air; he just won’t have access to our bedroom. However, I’m worried that I won't be able to sit in front of the TV in peace because of these attacks. For information, he doesn’t do this with my partner, who smacks him as soon as he bites. But with my partner, he bites to play, whereas with me, it feels like he’s actually attacking.

So, if you have any advice, that would be great, as I’ve always lived with dogs and never with cats, so I’m not really sure what to do.

Sorry for the long post, I’m just trying to describe the situation as best I can.

Translated from French
icon info

The forum content is sometimes translated from another language, and posts may concern countries with different animal laws. Do your research before making any decisions.

Since the forum is translated by AI, the translations may contain errors.

Write your message and upload a photo if you want to! Please remain courteous in your exchanges.

Your post will be visible to all members of the international Wamiz forum.

14 answers
Sort by:
    • M
    Mamalameilleur Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    Hi, thanks. Yes, he’s got toys, but he won’t stop biting us. I’ve got a one-year-old son and it’s all becoming a bit too much to handle.
    Translated from French
    M
    Mamalameilleur Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    Hi, Cats are all a bit bipolar :D They’ll be sleeping peacefully and then a minute later they’ve got the zoomies and are tearing around everywhere. Your cat is young, so he needs to play. And cats love grabbing at people's feet and hands and having a bit of a nibble. Does he have enough toys to keep him occupied? Do you play with him? Cats need to burn off energy, and playing is also a brilliant way to bond with them. It’s pretty easy too—a simple feather teaser or a bit of string and the cat will go absolutely mad for it.
    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    Just a quick update: my kitten is slowly starting to get the hang of the fact that if he wants to bite, he should bite his soft toy and not my arm. Every now and then he still has a go at me, but he understands much better when I say NO 😊 With a bit of patience, I reckon in a few months' time he won't be biting people at all 😊
    Translated from French
    G
    Greylox Icon representing the flag French
    Report

    Actually, your husband needs to realise that responding to a pet's "aggression" with more aggression isn't the answer. The cat won't understand; as far as he's concerned, he's just doing his job as a cat! :)

    As for a "kicker" toy for him to let off steam, you can find models specifically for kittens. The best thing is to get some valerian spray to put on it to keep him interested. With our little lad, when he starts treating his sister like a toy (and strangely enough, the Miss isn't exactly a fan ^^), we throw his "Kong" toy to him. If he keeps chasing her, I pretend to "attack" him with the Kong—just a bit of teasing—to redirect his "attacks" (which are really just play).

    To get him playing, you can get those fishing rod toys with quite long wands that let you sit back a bit while the cat plays without you having to run around everywhere. The trick is not to let him catch the toy too often. Firstly, because honestly, those types of toys aren't very sturdy, and secondly, because not catching his prey every single time makes it more like a "real" hunt. That's why it's so important to finish the play cycle with either a meal or a treat (even just one or two biscuits will do).

    Here’s the rod we used when our little ones were tiny, they absolutely loved it: http://www.zooplus.co.uk/shop/cats/cat_toys/fishing_rods/feather_toys/382796

    Laura’s advice above is spot on. Since the issue isn't that you're playing with him using your hands, you'll need to channel his energy using the "you attack me = I ignore you" rule (even if it means giving him a 5 to 10 minute "time out" with his kicker toy and a bit of valerian spray, which should distract him from you).

    Just be careful not to make the play sessions too long; I find that kittens can go into "overdrive" if they get over-stimulated.

    Translated from French
    Laurap3
    Laurap3 Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    The other members have already shared some great advice, and I’d definitely recommend following it. When he attacks you, have you tried 'hissing' or blowing at him? We got our cat far too young, and she was a real handful when she was a kitten (she grew out of it at about 6 or 7 months, so it took a massive amount of patience). To calm her down when she bit or attacked us, we’d 'hiss' at her like a cat would (never blow directly into their nostrils though, as you don't want to force air into their lungs). Essentially, we’d do a sharp blow, halfway between a hiss and a splutter—sorry, it sounds a bit gross, but it was really effective for us! She’d stop dead in her tracks and bolt! Saying 'no' works for us to a point, but since cats are so stubborn, even when we told her no, she’d stop for a second and then just carry on. So, 'hissing' or 'spitting' at her was the only thing that really worked. On the whole, you have to be firm and consistent. If the cat bites or scratches you, stop playing immediately, turn away, and give him the cold shoulder. Do something else and pretend you can't even see him. As soon as he settles down, you can start again. If he gets far too worked up and won't stop, take a 10-minute break before trying again. Try to always have a 'distraction toy' nearby—a ball, some crinkled-up kitchen foil, or any noisy toy you can throw so he redirects his attention and 'forgets' he wanted to attack you.
    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    Hi, kittens weaned too early can be aggressive, so you have to teach them not to be. You need patience; he’s just a young animal and his playful nature is completely normal. Try to spend time with him every day and try to anticipate the 'attacks'. When you feel he's about to pounce on your feet, for example, give a firm 'no' and distract him with a toy—throw a ball, for instance—so he focuses on something other than your feet. When he shows gentle behaviour, praise him with strokes and a soft voice. Finally, avoid playing with your hands; stick to toys so he gradually stops trying to play with you. If the dog isn’t too rough with the cat, you could try introducing them; the kitten might get used to him bit by bit. Floriane My partner made the mistake of shouting at the dog when the cat first arrived because the cat was growling, so now the dog is terrified of him (or more likely terrified of our reaction). I've tried to reintroduce them several times, but the dog just runs away and the kitten clings to me with his claws. I've already tried distracting him when he attacks me, but he stays locked on me as if I were prey. I’ve bought some Feliway (I think that’s how you spell it) in the hope that it might relax him a little. I’m being as patient as I can, but it’s not always easy, and telling him 'no' when he’s getting ready to pounce has absolutely no effect at all.
    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report

    and then being shut in a 10-square-metre room... that would drive anyone mad. plus, normally the litter tray, food, and the place to play and sleep shouldn't be in the same area. and hitting him too :((("

    Actually, no, he doesn’t live in 10 square metres but 30—except at night when we put him in his room because otherwise it’s impossible to sleep without getting bitten all night. Plus, his litter tray, toys, bowls and sleeping area are all well spaced out since they’re in the four corners of the room (we can’t do more than that). And we do NOT hit him; my partner just gives him a little tap on the bum (which doesn't hurt him at all) but it really upsets him because he runs and hides as soon as my partner does it. I don't resort to that; for me, it is ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION to be violent towards an animal.

    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    To respond to Greylox's comment: Just to answer your point, ever since the day he arrived, I’ve made sure he isn't allowed to play with my hands or feet. I’ve always done this with my previous pets, even though they were dogs rather than cats. As for my partner, he’s hardly ever around because of work, so the kitten only sees him for about 10-15 minutes a day, if that... I’m completely against smacking too, and I’ve told my partner that several times (although I think it’s probably just as hard to train a man as it is a cat 🙄...). As for me, I’ve never smacked him; like I said above, I try to grab him by the scruff of the neck or I give him a "time-out" to show him that I’m stopping the play when he shows behaviour I'm not happy with. Regarding his toy for burning off steam, it’s possible that the soft toy is too big for him, so I’ll try to find a smaller one perhaps. And as for tiring him out, I might be young but he wears me out much faster than he tires himself out! I try to get him running and jumping all over the place with his toy (of course, I let him catch it a few times so he doesn’t get frustrated), but it’s no use. He only stops when I leave the room, and sometimes he even just carries on playing on his own.
    Translated from French
    ProvetoJuniorConseil
    Provetojuniorconseil Icon representing the flag French
    Expert verified
    Report

    Hi there, kittens that have been weaned too early can sometimes be a bit aggressive, so you’ll need to teach him how to behave with plenty of patience. He’s still very young and having a playful nature is perfectly normal. Try to spend time with him every day and aim to anticipate his "attacks". For instance, if you feel like he’s about to pounce on your feet, give him a firm "no" and distract him with a toy—maybe throw a ball so he focuses on that instead of your feet. When he shows gentle behaviour, make sure to praise him with a soft voice and some strokes. Finally, avoid playing with your hands; stick to toys so he gradually stops trying to play with you in that way. If the dog isn't too rough with him, you could try introducing them, as the kitten might slowly get used to him.

    Floriane

    Translated from French
    N
    Nataly03 Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    And being shut away in a room that's only 10 square metres... it would drive anyone mad. Plus, normally their litter tray, food, and the places where they play and sleep shouldn't be in the same area. And then hitting them on top of that :(((
    Translated from French

  • 10 comments out of 14

    See more
    • Do you have a question? An experience to share? Create a post on our forum!
    These topics could be of interest to you!
    Find out more