I have a 9-month-old neutered cat who I actually live with! Yes, I'm just his human and I live in his flat... he’s giving me a real run for my money! He does whatever he wants, whenever he wants! I have absolutely no authority over him.
He hasn't been allowed to sleep in the bedroom with me for a few months now, otherwise he just runs riot. He climbs into the wardrobe, throws my clothes on the floor, eats my vest straps and belts... plays with my make-up, chews the cables... So, he sleeps in the living room. And every day it’s the same old story: when I go to bed, he scratches and meows at the door. While he eventually gives up and goes to sleep at night, he’s relentless in the morning! On weekdays, he starts scratching from 6am until I get up, and at the weekend — like this morning for instance — it lasted from 6am until noon! Six hours of intense scratching and meowing (ranging from a little "Please open the door, please" meow to a massive "If you don't open this door, I'll huff and I'll puff and blow it down!" kind of yowl). I also suspect he’s charging head-first into the door!
He takes little 5 to 10-minute breaks and then starts all over again! He even does it in the middle of the night sometimes. I’ve tried everything: scruffing him, giving him a little smack on the bum, ignoring him completely, spraying him with water... but nothing works. My living room has turned into a swimming pool and the cat couldn't care less. He has dry food left out for him all the time, so he isn't hungry. Sometimes I end up sleeping on the sofa in the living room just for some peace and quiet. The more I say no, the more he carries on. Do you have any advice on how I can finally get this stubborn boy to "respect" me?
Translated from French
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Hi there 🌼
Your message made me smile… but at the same time, I can really sense how tired and fed up you are, which is completely understandable. What you’re going through is exhausting, but rest assured: **your cat isn’t trying to dominate you; he’s just young, full of energy, and very attached to you.**
At 9 months old, he’s still a “feline teenager”: curious, impatient, and sometimes a bit clumsy when asking for attention. What you’re describing (the scratching, meowing, early morning wake-up calls…) is mostly down to **a lack of stimulation and a routine that isn’t quite clear enough for him.**
Here are a few simple but effective tips:
🔸 **Before bed, have an intense play session for 15-20 mins** (hunting games, lasers, feather wands), then give him a little reward (wet food, a treat, or a lick mat). This helps him “wind down” for the night.
🔸 **Totally ignore his meowing** (even though it’s tough). Not a word, not a look, and don’t even move. Otherwise, he learns that scratching = interaction.
🔸 **Create a calm and predictable environment**: dimmed lights, soft noises, and if possible, a space of his own with access to toys and a perch.
🔸 During the day, give him things to do on his own (puzzle feeders, hiding spots, paper bags, etc.).
You don’t have to put up with this forever. There are gentle solutions, and if you want to take things further, I’ve written a full guide on how to get things back on track:
📘 *“Repairing the Relationship”* → [My Ebook](https://lnmmirmw.mychariow.com/guide-chat)
Hang in there — you’re already doing a great job, honestly 🐾
Hi, I’ve got a cat that scratches and meows; she either does both at once, or just scratches, or just meows. Even if we tell her "no" several times, she just carries on. Sometimes I tell her to stop and she does for a moment, then suddenly she’s right back at it, or other times she actually stops. It’s always at my bedroom door when I’m not awake yet, as if she’s telling me "wake up, it’s time!" Or if I am awake but staying in bed, she’s not having any of it; she wants me up and she’ll keep going until I open the door. The thing is, she’s asking for food even though she’s still got some dry food left. Once I open the door, she’s so happy, rubbing herself against the stairs or in the bathroom. Sometimes she purrs away; she’s just chuffed that I’ve got up specifically for her. If I didn't, she’d just keep going until she saw me.
Evening all, I’ve currently got two cats who are about a year and a half old. When they were kittens, they used to sleep with me, but for the last nine months, they haven’t since I’ve been keeping my bedroom door shut. They sleep with my dad now, but whenever I come back to stay at my dad’s and shut my door, one of my cats scratches at it and meows. I’d really like to understand why.
Cats are nocturnal creatures, so it’s only natural they’ll be running riot at night, especially if they’re young and even more so if they’ve been on their own all day. Plus, they absolutely hate closed doors!
What you can do is have a good play session with him before you go to bed and try to keep him as active as possible during the day instead of letting him nap. That way, he’ll eventually learn that night-time is for peace and quiet... well, we can hope!
Hi everyone,
I’m having the same issue with my cat; she’s been scratching and meowing at my door every night for the past 2 months... I thought at first it was because I’d been away for 3 days, but it’s still going on. The vet gave me some medication to help her relax, but I tried it last night and I feel like it made things worse :( She was definitely groggy, but she was relentless with my door. When she realised I was telling her off, she took it out on my shoes and the sofa by scratching them all night long instead. I don’t mind trying earplugs, but what about the damage?!? Help!!! Could it be boredom? She’s an indoor cat and we moved house 5 months ago. Do you think getting another cat for company would help?
Thanks
I definitely agree, get some earplugs – high-quality ones if possible so you can't hear a thing! As Blue Cat said, your cat will eventually get the message, but they’re such stubborn creatures that it’s going to take quite a while... Whatever you do, don’t open the door or make a sound; basically, you need to make it clear that you aren't going to give in! I’m sure they’ll get used to it in time, but the best thing you can do is just ignore them.
