Hello everyone,
A year ago, I ran over my own cat and I still blame myself today. I'm looking for stories from people who have been through the same thing.
Pablo was adopted from a rescue centre where I volunteer; I had him for 15 years, and he was 17 on the day he died. He was such a lovely cat, a real gentle soul, so affectionate. He used to follow the kids on the way to school, and we would end up running to try and shake him off so he wouldn't get hit by a car... My neighbours, looking on in disbelief, would say 'Late for school again, then?' and I never dared admit I was actually trying to outrun the cat...
Pablo had a bad habit of darting between cars, and I lost count of how many times he nearly got run over right in front of us. But I never, ever thought it would be me who did it... I was reversing out of the garage; he'd sneaked out when I thought he was fast asleep, and he went right under the wheels. When I got out, I saw the look on my neighbours' faces—they had seen it happen. They were looking under my car, shaking their heads, and that is when I knew. I hadn't seen a thing, hadn't felt a thing... my cat was dying on the ground in a pool of blood. He wasn't dead yet, and the kids were screaming 'No, not Pablo!'... I didn't even cry at the time. I was in total shock, just repeating that it was a nightmare... that it couldn't be real. But it was. Even now, I still wonder why I had to go through such an ordeal, especially as I love animals so much...
When you lose a pet, you often feel guilty at first for having them put to sleep, but later you remember the good times. Today, when I think of Pablo, I can only think of the accident and the images of my cat covered in blood... violent images that sometimes just play on a loop in my head.
For those of you who have been in a similar situation, how did you manage to stop dwelling on it so much?
Thanks in advance for your replies.
