Hi everyone, I'm starting this new thread because I haven't been able to find any answers to my questions and the other topics didn't really fit my situation.
A year ago, I adopted my first cat, a female. She's a bit of a loner but she's always been very sweet and cuddly (when she's in the mood, haha!). I've obviously had her spayed!
A month ago, I adopted a new little female kitten at just six weeks old (I know, that's far too early, but the mother had abandoned them and the person giving her away just wanted rid of her).
Anyway, I followed all the advice I read to the letter!!!! I kept them separate from the start, leaving the kitten in my bedroom with everything she needed and giving the older cat the run of the house. I swapped their scents by stroking one after the other to transfer the smells, and then I swapped their towels to mix the scents further. I introduced the kitten to my first cat using a carrier; my adult cat hissed and growled when she saw the kitten, but that's normal enough at the beginning. After a week, I decided to let them be together (except at night, when I put the kitten back in my room just to be safe). It didn't go too badly; after two days, my adult cat stopped growling and they were even playing together!
But for the last two weeks, it's been an absolute nightmare and I don't know what to do. My cat chases the kitten constantly (who hasn't done anything to her), catches her, pins her to the floor, and bites her hard on the throat!! The kitten screams and it's terrifying. I’m scared she’s going to kill her, so I shout for her to let go, but she just does it again and it’s getting worse and worse!! I don’t have a life anymore because I can’t leave them alone together, and the kitten cries her eyes out if I shut her in the room for even five minutes!! I’m stuck. Any advice would be much appreciated in this situation 🤧
P.S. I tried a pheromone spray that cost me nearly £25 and, of course, it didn't work.
P.P.S. Sorry for any typos... I'm just not in the right headspace to check them.
Translated from French
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Getting cats to live together is never easy at first and it’s always important to be very patient. Cats are real creatures of habit and get very unsettled by any changes to their environment, especially the arrival of a new companion. That’s why topics like ‘my cat is biting/attacking/growling at my kitten’ are so common on these forums.
First of all, it sounds like you’ve followed the introduction stages correctly, which is great – well done for that.
Now, it’s important to distinguish between a genuine attack and dominant behaviour. It’s very possible your cat is simply asserting themselves as ‘the boss’ over the kitten, which is why it looks like they’re attacking, but they aren’t actually hurting them. It’s more a way for your cat to show the kitten where the boundaries are, particularly as you mentioned your cat likes their own space and is likely annoyed if the kitten encroaches on their territory too much.
So, keep supervising them while letting them ‘scuffle’ a bit. If you see them actually hurting each other, then it’s a real behavioural issue you’ll need to discuss with your vet. Otherwise, it’s perfectly normal behaviour as they work out their hierarchy.
I’ve just been reading through all your comments and I have to admit I’m going through the exact same thing. I have a cat I adopted a year ago and a new girl I adopted just four days ago. He’s been biting her by the throat and it’s really scaring me—I was even in tears last night. They both have their own space and their own feeding areas, but the older one keeps opening the door to the room where she is.
I’m just at my wits' end.
I’m in the same boat as you—I already have a 10-month-old kitten and I got his brother back (they used to be so close) two months later, and as you’d expect, they don’t recognise each other anymore.
The first one won't accept the new one; he stalks him, nabs him whenever he can and bites his neck. I’ve seen it, he really bites—when I tried to pull him off, his teeth were clamped right down.
He really stalks him like he's prey, he goes for him exactly like that.
I keep stepping in, even though I probably shouldn't. My vet told me not to tell him off because he didn't ask for a companion, it wasn't his choice.
I really wanted to reunite the two brothers, but I couldn't take them at the same time because the second one was so skittish I couldn't catch him back then.
I’m staying optimistic though. I separate them when I’m out, and when I’m home I put them together when I know I can keep an eye on things.
It breaks my heart because they were so close from birth, but not at all now. And yeah, with animals, it’s all about the scent—it’s such a shame.
I think we just need to give it time for him to accept the newcomer.
I intervene because I’m worried; at first he would lick him but then he’d bite his neck, so when he licks his face I move him away from the eyes, and same when he sniffs him, I nudge him away. I’m scared he’ll bite his back end; they’re both males.
Usually, it starts with a lick and ends with a bite, so I’m wary. Sometimes even before he gets near him, I put him back in his place so the new one—who’s already stressed by the house move—doesn’t get even more stressed or frightened by him.
You have to do it gradually, separating them and then putting them together for longer periods each time where possible so he gets used to it. It’s definitely about him wanting to mark his territory.
Best of luck to everyone in my situation, hoping for a happy ending. I don’t want to give up either of them, I won’t even consider it, it’s impossible for me—even though I know if things don’t calm down there won’t be any other choice.
Patience and caution, and time will do the rest, I hope.
I’m having the same issue. I’ve adopted a kitten but I already had an adult cat. Everything was going fine at the start, but now the adult cat bites her on the neck even when she’s sleeping. I’ve tried not to step in, but she miaows and tries to struggle, and he also eats her dry food—which I’ve read is normal, but the adult cat even attacks her when she tries to get a drink. Please help me, it’s really scaring me. I’m sleeping with the kitten so they aren't left alone together, because I'm terrified he might kill her.
Hi, I’ve just got two kittens who are barely 8 weeks old. They’re brother and sister from the same litter. They got on really well when I first brought them home, but for a while now I’ve had to keep separating them. Either one is biting the other or vice versa. They meow sometimes, but I can’t tell if they’re having a scrap or just playing.
PS: They bite each other quite hard and keep pouncing on each other 🤷
If your male really wanted to hurt the female, she’d have had some serious injuries by now... Personally, I don't think this is a proper fight. I’ve seen real cat fights before and believe me, they don’t look like that. My girls play like that too, and sometimes when one gets a bit too rough, the other lets out a cry to tell her to stop, and that’s that. They’re certainly not trying to kill each other; with the amazing bond my girls have, they’d never do that! Your cats have a bond too—you said yourself they get on well—so why would your male want to hurt your female? To me, it’s just accidental, and it’s by hearing the female cry out that the male will eventually realise he’s going a bit too far. If you step in too often, it won't change anything and it’ll just keep happening. If your cats haven't been neutered or spayed yet, keep in mind that it really helps calm down cats that are a bit rough.
Yeah, well, my male cat bites her and actually hurts her. On top of that, when he bites her, he tries to drag her off with him. Personally, I don't think he's just playing.
Honestly, the vet is talking absolute rubbish – you don’t lock a cat away for something like that. Besides, neck biting doesn't necessarily mean they're fighting; that's just how cats play. If your cats are grooming each other and all that, then they clearly get on well, otherwise they wouldn't be so close. This is just play. If one of them cries out, he’s just telling the big one to stop. If you step in every single time, the big one will never learn when to stop. We all know the difference between playing and fighting anyway; when they're playing, they're only nipping and pretending, but when they actually fight, there are usually injuries involved. You can keep an eye on them, but only intervene if it's really necessary :)
Same here! I'm in a similar situation as I've got two adult males and I just got a female kitten. For the first three days, my first cat just hissed at her without touching her, but now they're inseparable and he washes her. My second male was fine at the start, but now he follows her everywhere and bites her neck to try and drag her off, which makes the little one cry out quite a bit :( But he can be sweet sometimes; he licks her and they sleep curled up together. My little one is two and a half months old, but I introduced them as soon as she arrived—I didn't wait, though I probably should have! The vet told me to step in if the "attacks" seem like too much and to shut the new one in a room with her food and litter tray when I'm out, just so nothing happens. I'm also terrified he might kill her :(
