So, I recently adopted a little kitten; she's about 10 weeks old. I've been living on my own for two years now since moving out of my parents' place, and besides being at work, I'm pretty much alone all the time. I have very few friends and my family doesn't live nearby so I don't see them often. My weekends usually just consist of me being at home on my own watching box sets... and the loneliness was starting to really get to me, so I thought adopting a kitten might bring me a bit of comfort.
But the thing is, I’ve been feeling this massive sense of anxiety ever since she arrived, and I can't stop crying. I live in a studio flat, and for the first few nights, she was playing a lot around 4 or 5 am, which woke me up and kept me from sleeping. Now I'm panicking about whether the next night will be any better, whether I'll get any sleep, if she will, or if she'll make too much noise. Even when she plays during the day, it makes me anxious because I'm just not used to it. On top of that, she’s been ill for the past two days; she throws up as soon as she eats and she's sleeping a lot. I don't know what's wrong with her, which is making me even more stressed because I don't know what to do. I’m wondering if she’s picking up on my anxiety and that’s what’s making her sick, or if it’s her food (though it was fine at first), or if I’ve done something wrong to make her ill.
She’s so sweet and very cuddly, but I feel completely overwhelmed by all these changes. I feel like I wasn't prepared for this and that maybe I’m just not ready to have a pet after all.
I don't know what to do because I’m considering taking her back to the person who gave her to me; I keep thinking that at least they’ll know how to look after her properly.
At the same time, I feel terribly ashamed for having taken on an animal and then failing to handle the responsibility.
If anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you in advance.
Translated from French
The forum content is sometimes translated from another language, and posts may concern countries with different animal laws. Do your research before making any decisions.
Since the forum is translated by AI, the translations may contain errors.
Hi,
I’ve also just adopted a kitten (my first one) and even though I’ve been preparing for over a year, I’m feeling so anxious. I’ve got a real knot in my stomach, I feel sick, and I’m hardly sleeping a wink—just terrified I’m not doing things properly. I’ve had him for three days now. He’s a lovely little thing and hasn’t got into any mischief yet, except for the fact that he won't use his litter tray... We’re trying to show him what to do.
To make matters worse, he’s got diarrhoea, which I think is down to the change in dry food, even though I’m trying to do a gradual transition... No one warned me about that.
But I’ve still got this constant anxiety... and I’m really dreading the first day he has to be left on his own...
At least reading these posts makes me realise I’m not the only one...
Hi,
I just wanted to say that I completely understand how you’re feeling. I also adopted a cat last Saturday, and for those first couple of days, I was a total nervous wreck. I barely slept a wink; every time she meowed, I was terrified that something was wrong. I was so worried about doing something wrong, not knowing how to look after her properly, or her being ill... It’s been five days now and I’m starting to feel a bit better, but I’m still on high alert for the slightest sign or change in her behaviour, since I don’t know her that well yet!
It is quite exhausting, but I think it’ll get easier bit by bit. People always say how hard it is for a cat to change environments and settle in, but it’s a massive life change for us too, and we have to adjust as well! :)
Hi there,
First of all, please don't worry: bringing a pet home is always a massive change. You both need time to adjust, and it's completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed and out of sorts at the start.
Your little one will calm down as she grows up and will bring you so much joy and affection once this transition period is over. Don't be too hard on yourself :)
To help you get some sleep again, I’d suggest making sure your kitten burns off plenty of energy during the day with lots of play sessions (feather wands, balls, lasers, etc.). Plus, these little play sessions will definitely help strengthen your bond with her.
Regarding your kitten being sick: if it’s happening repeatedly and she seems weak as you’ve described, that isn't normal. It could be down to the change in diet, but it would be surprising if her food didn’t cause any issues for the first few days.
Sometimes cats are sick when they eat too quickly – is that the case with her? If so, you could try giving her smaller portions more frequently. However, this wouldn't explain why she seems so weak.
Vomiting can also be linked to internal parasites, which are very common in kittens. For example, if she was a rescue from the streets and has never been wormed, she likely has worms. With a parasitic infestation, the belly often feels bloated and tight. You can try feeling her tummy to see if that’s the case. Kittens need to be wormed from 3 weeks old, then every month between 2 and 6 months of age.
Whatever the case, don't worry: this vomiting is not your fault!!
I’d recommend booking an appointment with a vet for a quick check-up. Don't hesitate to chat with your vet about how anxious you've been feeling since getting the cat; they’ll be able to reassure you, and you’ll see that you’re definitely not the only one to feel overwhelmed when bringing a new pet home!
Best of luck,
Agathe.
I agree – if the vomiting persists and she’s throwing everything up so she has nothing left in her stomach, it’s either down to the change in food as mentioned above, or it’s something else. But a cat that’s hiding away, sleeping more and has no energy is a real reason to see a vet as soon as possible.
Hi there,
There’s something called the ‘puppy blues’ that people often experience when they adopt a puppy. It’s a negative reaction (anxiety, stress, and depression) to the arrival of a new pup.
It sounds very similar to what you’re describing, and I’ve no doubt it can apply to kittens as well.
Do have a look into the puppy blues...
And don’t put too much pressure on yourself over the kitten.
However, if a kitten is suddenly sleeping a lot and vomiting after eating... a trip to the vet is a must. A kitten’s health can go downhill very quickly.
I don’t believe he’s poorly because of your stress. If you haven't changed his food at all, the fact that he’s lethargic and vomiting is reason enough to take him for a vet check-up.
It’s definitely a massive change, especially since you were used to the peace and quiet and your own routine.
The thing is, a kitten—any kitten, even for someone who is more active—requires a lot of patience because they’re so hyper. I was the same with mine; sometimes I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I’d suggest getting a puppy pen or setting up a fenced-off area under a table with all their essentials, so you can get a bit of a rest sometimes—not for the whole day, of course.
Living in a studio flat is also part of the problem because there’s no separate room to give them some "time out" every now and then.
To reassure you, by 6 months they’re almost adults and they do settle down a bit.
The early days are often tough to deal with, but they grow up so fast. Later on, you’ll see that you won’t regret coming home and hearing that lovely, soothing purr.
