Aggressive cat at bedtime

Thanks so much for all your replies.

What worried me most was that, for a while, she’d got into the habit of jumping at my face and scratching me. So I was a bit scared it would start happening again, and that’s what was really stressing me out.

I’ll try to play with her more before bedtime! Mind you, once she gets going, she’s tearing about and jumping all over the place for at least an hour haha.

Thanks again!

I’ll wrap up with a closely guarded secret...

When your cat nips your fingers during a cuddle or at any other time—when they go for your hands—there's one simple thing to do: keep your hand completely still. Just leave it there. Stop resisting. You’ll see, they’ll actually start licking it and grooming you instead.

Now, this next part isn’t exactly documented (you won’t find this written down anywhere, so it’s up to you whether you trust me or not). When you do eventually pull your hand away, it’s perfectly okay to use one finger like a cat’s paw to give them a tiny, very gentle little tap. The message you’re trying to send is: "This is the right level of intensity for playtime."

Does that make sense? No scolding. No spray bottles. No smacking. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. You’re stepping into their world. When they look at your hand, they see another cat. When they bite your hand, they’re biting another cat. By giving that little "paw tap" (which should be almost like a caress), you’re teaching them the level of intensity you’re comfortable with.

But look, that part is optional. Keeping your hand still, however, is essential. It’s magic. There’s no point telling the cat off; they’re already in control. The only punishment I ever use (and very rarely) is quietly moving the cat somewhere else. And **not** by the scruff of the neck.

Yes, exactly.

@Maellep, I wouldn't wish for you to witness, let alone be the victim of, actual cat aggression. I dread to think what the injuries would be like. That kind of thing is very serious, just as much as a dog attack.

So yes, it’s 100% play, but poorly controlled play.

You’re asking yourself certain questions, particularly why it happens at the same time and why it's so cyclical. The reason is simple: cats are creatures of habit. You have your routines – the daily commute, work, sleep, and so on. Cats are the same. Yours has got into the habit of including this playtime in his schedule, probably at the same time every day, because the energy peaks from his body clock mean he needs to burn off steam just as you’re heading to bed.

It’s also more than reasonable to assume he’s realised you disappear at that time. So, he’s making the most of it just before you go. It’s like ‘last orders’ at the pub – one final go.

I have a 2-year-old female cat, adopted at 3 weeks old; she’s naturally quite timid but very energetic during her energy peaks. When the whirlwind starts, my dog and I can only sit back and watch, hoping we don’t get caught in the crossfire. However, she never catches me. She never goes for my "limbs", my arms, or my hands.

And in my opinion, the reason is very simple. My cat, and yours too, know they have to control themselves when playing with our arms and hands. They have to show restraint. It’s not particularly fun for them. But I play with mine, and it’s ritualised. Just like your cat always doing the same thing at the same time, I pre-empt it by providing the same style of play (predatory play, obviously) at roughly the same times.

I have at least three go-to toys. A simple piece of string, and two others dangling from the end of a wand. I always keep a couple in my dressing gown pockets. As soon as I reach in, she knows.

She’s so interested in these toys and looks forward to them so much that she isn't really interested in my hands or limbs. Does that make sense?

So, your problem is very, very simple. The more you let this cat discover toys and scenarios where he can go all out without holding back and live out his predatory side – with you involved! – the more he’ll lose interest in your limbs. It’s as simple as that.

Hi there,

It could definitely be a game. Perhaps you're making a sudden movement when you turn out the light that mimics prey and triggers a hunting instinct? For instance, if your lamp is on a bedside table, you could try moving your arm more slowly to see if she still tries to pounce on you.

If this problem has only appeared recently, has there been any change in your evening routine that might have triggered this new behaviour?

In any case, if it is just play, cats usually calm down as they get older, so the behaviour should eventually stop on its own.

Hope that helps.

Marine