I've adopted a three-month-old female kitten; she's a stray.
I'm really worried because she's hiding all the time, and none of the cats I've had before were like this.
I've put her in a quiet room so she's not disturbed, but she just hides away and we never see her.
To be honest, I'm not the most patient person, plus I also have a one-year-old cat at home that I haven't introduced her to yet.
Does anyone have any idea how long I'll have to wait until she becomes 'normal'?
Thanks for your help.
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Hi there,
If you've blocked off all her hiding spots (which is what I would have recommended), you need to make sure you offer her a "safe space" instead—somewhere where you’ll respect her privacy when she’s tucked away. Knowing she has this sanctuary will be really reassuring for her and will help her relax in the long run. You can easily make a budget-friendly little cat den using just a cardboard box and an old T-shirt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyRSqJZFuEg. Otherwise, you can find plenty of cat tipis and houses on various pet websites.
Try to play with her regularly using toys at a distance (like fishing rod toys or a bit of string with a cork on the end). Even once she’s more comfortable with you, never use your hands to play with her directly.
A really useful way to communicate with cats is slow blinking. Avoid staring at her when she looks at you; instead, try giving her a few slow blinks. In the cat world, this is a sign of peace :) (staring, on the other hand, is a challenge and a sign that an attack might be coming).
Keep in mind that cats are naturally quite paranoid: in the wild, they are both predators and prey, and these two instincts are the be-all and end-all of how unsocialised cats behave.
Best of luck, things can only get better from here! :)
Hi everyone,
Great idea to sleep with the kittens. My two teenage sons have been staying with her at night, so she's getting used to having them around...
She’s still hiding; she’s not quite settled yet... but hopefully, with a bit of time, she’ll be fine.
She ate on my son’s lap today, but afterwards, she tried to have a wee on the sofa. My son popped her straight into the litter tray, and she ran off to hide. What I’ve decided to do is block off all the spots where she can hide completely. Like behind the sofa against the wall... or even inside the sofa bed.
So now she just sits in a little corner or on the stairs and watches us go about our business.
I’m going to try hand-feeding her again tonight and spend about fifteen minutes giving her a gentle stroke on my lap.
I agree that you have to push things a little bit and give them a bit of a fuss, gently of course.
I’ve had a Feliway diffuser going since yesterday, but I haven't seen a miracle improvement yet...
To be continued... I’ll let you know how things go tonight...
I think it’ll happen, slowly but surely. The fact that she doesn't bolt when you get near her is already a massive win.
Just for info, every time I’ve had new kittens, I’ve always spent the first two nights taking them into bed with me. They absolutely loved it, and that physical closeness definitely helped build a bond of trust. The cat picks up the scent of their sleeping human, which really speeds up the process of them getting used to you and forming an attachment. I once mentioned this method, which I’ve always done instinctively, to a pet behaviourist and they thought it was a brilliant idea!
A human lying down and not moving is far less scary for a nervous kitten than a human standing up—and even worse than a human walking around.
When I was living in Martinique, we dealt with quite a few stray kittens, and my mum has actually just adopted a new one. Depending on their personality, it can take a bit of time. I remember one kitten who used to hiss at everyone. Generally speaking—and I know a lot of people might disagree with me here—but when their fear is quite deep-seated, I tend to force the contact to make things easier in the long run. I’ll take them onto the sofa and give them a good fuss for a fair few minutes; I get a few scratches and bites, but it’s no big deal, and after a few days, they calm down. That kitten ended up being the most clingy one of the whole litter, even though she started off as the least sociable.
My mum told me that the new one she rescued was like a possessed demon at first, but for a while now, she’s started acting just like a little dog, following everyone around. Mind you, depending on their temperaments, some bond with other cats, some want to become best mates with the dogs so they’ve got a bit of protection if there’s trouble, and some are more "people cats," but none of them have stayed feral, strictly speaking.
The most timid one we had became much gentler and calmer when he got injured and we had to nurse him back to health for about a month. For an animal to understand there’s no danger, sometimes you have to "force" the danger on them—I’m not talking about long-term, deep-seated fear that leads to aggression, where you’d need to handle things differently. But in your case, there’s technically no danger, so without being too rough, I’d push for a bit more contact.
It’s what I did with the street dogs too, who were a much bigger risk than a cat; if after 3 or 4 days the animal doesn't come to me on its own, I approach them calmly, but I do make that move.
Hi everyone,
Thanks for your kind replies. I’ve followed your advice.
Apparently, she cried and meowed a bit during the night; my teenage son stroked her and she let him.
This morning I found her on a step of a small set of stairs in the room; she was curled up in a ball but she didn't bolt. I fed her some wet food from the palm of my hand and she ate the lot!
Later on, she went back into hiding.
She had an accident under the sofa, so I just picked her up to move her somewhere else while I cleaned it up—I didn't scold her at all.
We’ve been taking turns stroking her.
She’s scared, but she doesn't go running off.
Right now she’s sleeping on the stairs again, and she’s just gone to hide in her little carrier.
I think she can hear my other cat meowing, too.
What do you all think?
Ronnie 🙂
I've never come across a single case of a cat 'staying like that' and never coming out of their hiding spot in all my long life as a cat lover and my time volunteering for animal rescues. The adoption is brand new and isn't a sign of how she'll behave in the future. The poor little thing is in a panic; she just needs a bit of time.
One trick that works well: lie down on the floor while talking to her softly, without trying to catch her. Repeat her name several times and offer a tasty treat in the palm of your hand. She'll associate your personal scent with something pleasant.
Don't forget to leave out fresh water! In the height of summer, dehydration is a real worry, especially with kittens. This is why it’s best to offer mostly wet food (which is about 80% water), in addition to leaving dry food out for her to graze on.
And if she has an accident and goes somewhere other than the litter tray, please don't scold her; these accidents are incredibly common with fearful kittens. She might misunderstand and think that 'going to the loo is forbidden!', which can lead to major urinary retention issues...
Please keep us updated on how she's doing over the coming days; it's always great to have some feedback.
Hi to you both and thanks for your replies.
She arrived yesterday evening, so it’s her first full day with us. She was at a rescue centre and I adopted her.
I already have a cat that I adopted from that same rescue, but his personality is completely different; he didn’t even need any time to settle in!
But this time, it’s the opposite. She isn’t aggressive at all and she lets us stroke her, but she just stays in her corner. She’s spent the whole day hiding, squeezing herself into tiny spaces. We’re leaving her be; we’ve put food out for her, she comes out to eat and has her litter tray. However, she isn't actually using it.
I haven’t introduced her to my other cat yet as I’m afraid of scaring her even more. So, when we’re in the room with her, we just keep ourselves busy—on the laptop, reading, or on our phones... We aren’t forcing her to come out; I just showed her where the litter tray was today.
I really don’t want her to stay like this—you know, a cat that never comes out of her hiding spot...
Thanks for any advice.
Hello,
You haven't mentioned how long she's been with you?
It takes a lot of patience, gentleness, and time for a stray kitten to build up trust in their new surroundings and their new owner. Let her have everything she needs in her own room (and remember, always keep the litter tray well away from her food). Hold off on introducing her to your other cat until she’s completely comfortable with you.
Let her hide for as long as she wants; never force anything. The more you respect her fear, the sooner it will pass. You have another cat that you’re clearly close with, which should help you stay patient with the little one.
These rescue kittens can take several weeks to really 'settle in'. It’s also possible that, down the line, she might bond well with you but still be wary of other people. You’ll just have to accept the situation if that's the case. These timid kittens often become incredibly affectionate with their 'special person'—it’s actually quite common.
Patience, kindness, and time work miracles!
