I’ve joined this site specifically to post on this forum because I’m going round in circles and I really need some answers and support.
On 22nd March 2022, my little Mimi—who was about to celebrate her 10th birthday on the 25th—went into the clinic for a routine check-up and never came home.
It was the first time we’d been to this clinic; we wanted a second opinion because Mimi had developed some small lumps at the base of her tail over the last few months. Vet 1 treated the first lump as a sebaceous cyst and surgically removed it in October 2021.
As two or three more lumps appeared in the same spot over the following months—including one that really worried us because it was very hard—and Vet 1 said he couldn’t operate again (as there wasn’t enough skin left to close the wound) and that it was best to leave it be, we decided to see Vet 2.
Vet 2 said it could be cancerous and recommended a "minor" needle biopsy and a "quick" X-ray to find out for certain. Looking back, I don’t think I properly weighed up the risk-benefit ratio of the procedure, which was presented to me as being very routine.
I should mention that Mimi didn’t have any known health issues and seemed perfectly healthy. She was a tiny thing, weighing just under 8 lbs (3.6kg), but she was eating well, running around, playing, and was very sociable. She’d already had a few general anaesthetics at Vet 1 before (for abscesses from cat fights and such), and everything had always gone fine.
Anyway...
Translated from French
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It’s been 3 months and I still can’t bring myself to get another cat. It feels as if I’d be replacing the irreplaceable; I have this feeling that I won’t be able to give love anymore. I’m so sad, I’m still crying for my baby who I miss so much. I’d love so much to open my eyes and see him there in front of me to give him loads of kisses. This emptiness is terrible, it hurts so much.
Thank you for your support, and I’m so sorry about your cat, I really do understand. I hope you manage to get through your grief.
Thank you for your support, it really helps. I can't stop crying, I just can't get over the pain. I keep asking myself what I missed. Why did she never complain? Why didn't I notice she was suffering sooner? I see her everywhere. Last night I woke up thinking she was in my arms. How can I get through this? How can I help my husband and the kids through their grief when I can't even cope myself? A part of me has died. I see her everywhere, and my other dog is looking for her all over the place; they were inseparable. I loved her so much, if only you knew. I would have given my life for her. She was so sweet, I never would have guessed she was dying. Why didn't my vet diagnose the tumour sooner? Why did he put her through that rhinoscopy when he must have known she wouldn't handle it? She could barely stand on her paws, but she wouldn't stop licking my face. I thought it was just the medication that wasn't agreeing with her. I'm trying to be strong so the kids don't cry, but I feel empty. I can't take any more. I feel so guilty for not seeing the signs of distress in my little princess. Why didn't the vet warn me sooner? First it was conjunctivitis, then a tooth extraction, only to find out it was a bone tumour in her nasal cavity. I’ve gone into hundreds of pounds of debt believing I could save her, and then my little princess had a cardiac arrest during her rhinoscopy. I keep thinking about how much she must have suffered. Why didn't she give me a sign to say she was in pain? Why did we miss it? I’m at my breaking point. I’m trying to be strong but I just can’t do it anymore. I’m so exhausted from the heartache and how sudden it all was. I was supposed to pick her up that evening, and I still see her hooked up to all those tubes and machines. It’s just a nightmare.
It’s been 3 months now and I still can’t bring myself to get another cat. It feels like I’d be replacing the irreplaceable; I have this feeling that I won’t be able to give love like that ever again. I’m so sad, I’m still grieving for my baby and I miss him so much. I’d love so much to just open my eyes and see him right there in front of me so I could give him loads of kisses. This emptiness is terrible, it just hurts so much.
I know exactly how you feel; mine passed away a week and a half ago and the house feels so empty and quiet. When I get home from work, she isn't there under the table waiting for me anymore. I’m still finding it so hard and I cry quite a bit as well. My girl was my soulmate, my other half; I’d had her since she was a tiny kitten. I’m going to adopt another cat in the future, but I just don't feel ready at the moment. I still have her bed right next to mine, I haven't been able to move it. I’m also sleeping with the blanket that was in her carrier the night she was put to sleep; I just can't bring myself to part with it. I keep telling myself that time is a healer, but it’s just so difficult. Thinking of you.
My heart really goes out to you. I lost my baby nearly three months ago and the pain is still just as bad. I don't cry quite as much as I did during that first month, which was just awful—I was crying day and night and honestly thought I was going round the bend. It was all I could think about. The absence is just terrible and unbearable. I'm still thinking of him all the time, still crying, and I still find myself looking for him. I miss him so much. Your story really touches me; it’s just heartbreaking to take your little one in to be treated and then for this to happen...
Hi, I lost my little princess yesterday, she was 11. She was a cat like no other, so sweet and cuddly, she never once put her claws out. I took her to the vet a month ago because she had a runny nose and her little eye was running too. The vet told me it was an ear infection and that a scale and polish would be necessary. She had her treatment but nothing was right, her eye started closing more and more. I called back for an emergency appointment but they couldn't fit me in. I decided to take her to another vet who saw her straight away. She told me it was an abscess under the eye caused by a bad tooth that needed extracting—around £340. I said okay, they kept her in and I picked her up the next day. Everything went well, but her eye was still red. More treatment, called the vet back, injections every two days. Her eye went back to more or less normal. Two weeks ago her nose started running again. I called the vet, more treatment. Once the treatment was finished, her nose started running again. She told me we’d try a new treatment and if that didn't work we’d do a rhinoscopy—about £325 just for the procedure. I gave her the new treatment but nothing worked, her condition was deteriorating, she couldn't stay on her feet. It fell on the Bank Holiday Monday. I called the out-of-hours vet who told me it was probably just her treatment and they couldn't prescribe anything else. Tuesday morning at 8am I went to the vet. They wanted to try a new treatment, I told them it wasn't working and that she was getting worse. They said they'd do the rhinoscopy to see. I decided to leave her there, and they told me I could pick her up that evening. I got a phone call at 2:30pm yesterday, it was the vet. She’d had a cardiac arrest; they’d managed to resuscitate her but she was in a coma. I’m devastated, I can’t find the words, it's unthinkable. I never would have imagined this. She had a tumour in her nostrils. We went to see her and he told me the tumour was too big and there was no hope for her. I told him I never would have thought this, it wasn't possible—why didn't he see it sooner? I told him to turn off the machines, I didn't want her to suffer anymore. It was horrible, my grief is inconsolable, it’s just on a loop in our heads. She’d never complained. I can't get my head around the fact I'll never see her again. My little princess, I miss her, we all miss her, my kids are in tears, I see her everywhere in the house. And a £430 bill just to be told I don’t have my cat anymore. Over £1,300 in a month, it’s so unfair.
Hi Meemaw, my heart really goes out to you. I lost my cat a month ago and the pain is still very much there today. If you want to talk about it, no worries at all, I'm here for you.
