Kitten won't let me get near him

Riper

28/05/2019, 13:33

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Hi everyone,

I adopted a 6-month-old kitten three weeks ago now.

For the first few days, he hid behind the sofa and only came out at night while I was sleeping.

After a few days, he seemed to gain a bit of confidence; most of the time when I get back from work he’s hiding, but he comes out within barely 2 minutes (it’s the same when I have friends over, he comes out quite quickly).

Generally speaking, he just does his own thing when he sees me sitting on the sofa or lying in bed. However, I can see he’s still very wary whenever I move a leg or make a bit of noise, and as soon as I move anywhere near him, he backs away towards the back of the sofa—though he doesn't necessarily hide if he sees I'm not heading directly for him.

I can easily play with him and hand-feed him (only the things he absolutely loves, otherwise he’s not interested), but stroking him is absolutely out of the question. If I try to move my hand towards him gently while he's eating, he jumps, then carries on eating.

Last night he came over to me, sniffed my hand and then swiped at me with his paw...? (I’d just put some treats down on the floor for him).

So my question is, what should I do to encourage him to accept being stroked? Should I just keep playing with him regularly and hand-feeding him? (It’s only been three weeks after all). Or is there something specific I should be doing to build his trust?

Thanks,

Best regards, Pierre

Translated from French

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Riper

30/05/2019, 21:06

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Hi everyone, he’s in a living room barely bigger than the studio flat where he was with his fosterers, and he seems to have settled in quite well to his new home. He even comes out when we have guests over, but as soon as anyone moves, he goes and hides. I’ve managed to give him a few little head strokes for a few seconds while he’s eating, but the trouble is he always goes for my hand with his claws as soon as he’s finished eating whatever is in it... I tried holding my hand out to him when he seemed to be coming towards me; he sniffed it and then gave me another scratch... does he think it’s a toy?

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Alex_rvlt

28/05/2019, 20:01

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Hi there, the fostering method is a great option too. A nervous cat feels safe in a small space—in this case, the crate. At my rescue centre, timid cats make progress much more quickly when they’re in a pen than when they’re roaming free in a courtyard. In fact, we advise anyone adopting a shy cat to keep them in one small room at first, or even a rabbit cage, until they’ve made some progress.

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Kirikiri

28/05/2019, 19:55

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Just remember that this is all just a matter of patience and perseverance. We often foolishly expect to have a little velcro cat purring on our laps, but that’s frequently not the case ^^ don’t lose heart! :)

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Riper

28/05/2019, 19:43

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Thanks to both of you for your replies. I got this kitten from a rescue centre. All I know is that he was found on a building site with his sister; I’m not sure exactly at what age, but it’s possible he had a bad experience with people. In any case, when I picked him up, he was in a foster home with a lady who had been giving him a fuss every day for two months. However, he was kept in a cage all day, and she told me she only managed to catch him to give him a cuddle when he came out of the cage. She was doing this to 'socialise' him, but I think he was pushed a bit too hard; I’m not sure if that ended up being a bad experience for him or not. I’m going to keep playing with him and try to introduce some strokes while he’s eating, if he’s not too scared.

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Blue_cat

28/05/2019, 16:42

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Hi there,

You're doing exactly the right thing. Above all, never rush a wary cat. Their hiding spot behind the sofa is their safe space for now, so definitely don't stop them from getting to it. I also suspect this cat had never been handled by humans before they met you; it’s going to take time, patience, and a lot of gentleness. Playing together is really important, as it helps them associate you with something they enjoy doing. Sometimes these timid kittens just "click" overnight and seem to realise once and for all that this particular human only wants the best for them. Patience is key...

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Kirikiri

28/05/2019, 15:52

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Hi there, Do you know anything about his background? He’s acting like a kitten who either hasn't been socialised with people or one who has been mistreated. As for solutions, there aren't many besides being persistent, but it will pay off in the end. You can try stroking him, but you must stop if you see it’s bothering him, and never force it. Stroke his head, making sure to show him your hand first (basically, no "surprise strokes" from behind). And to win him over: food and play, which will help him de-stress! Why not try gradually stroking him while he's busy eating, for example; just to get him used to it slowly.

Translated from French

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