Hi everyone, I’ve got a question about my 6-month-old kitten. Sometimes, when my 11-year-old female cat is sleeping on the bed, he comes and lies down next to her. Nothing unusual there, except that every now and then, he creeps up really slowly and bites her. He used to bite her back, but now he’s aiming for her neck or the scruff, so I’m worried he might hurt her... For now, I don’t think he’s doing it very hard because she just wakes up, gives him a couple of half-hearted swats, and goes back to sleep as if nothing’s happened. She’s quite a timid thing, so I reckon if she were in pain, she’d meow and bolt, but I’m wondering if he’s trying to hurt her or if it’s just play? Is there a risk of him injuring her, or is he just looking for attention? Just so you know, the kitten was neutered recently and the female is spayed too.
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Hi, I’m right in the middle of this with my 9-month-old kitten (he’s neutered). I’ve got two 4-year-old females and there isn’t a day that goes by where he doesn’t make them scream. I’m constantly having to play referee every single day, it’s exhausting. Have things settled down at your end? I can’t even let him sleep with my two older girls, it’s just impossible 😓
1st point***** your kitten is 6 months old (+7 months => 13 months...)
Basically, biting the scruff of the neck isn't play; it's the technique males use to immobilise the female during mating... so if I were you, I'd get the whole lot of them neutered if they haven't been already...
2nd point ***** an injury to the throat isn't play... (nor is one to the scruff, but for a different reason...)
That being said, at 3 months old, unless your cat is a total "psycho-cat", there's very little chance it's an assassination attempt... if she's on her back under him and he bites at that moment, then it really is just play, I reckon...
However, if she's on her feet and the kitten is deliberately going around her neck to reach the throat, then that's not playing. If there's any attempt to carry or drag the other cat by the throat, then separate them immediately...
But I'd be surprised... a recent video I saw challenged some of my assumptions, where an older kitten was attacking a 3-month-old... but I still think that in your situation, your kittens are just playing...
Hi, I've got the same situation except it's two 3-month-old kittens, a brother and sister. It's the boy who bites his sister's throat rather than her scruff. She's smaller than him and struggles to defend herself. It's not all the time, though. Should I tell him off (maybe a little tap)? Thanks.
As long as the female is fully joining in the play, don't intervene. This mock-fighting is all part of the game, and the swipes or bites aren't meant to be aggressive. Every now and then, she might give a little yelp because her brother has gone too far, but that’s just her way of showing him where the boundaries are. This kind of interaction, especially between siblings, is a key part of their development and practice for hunting. It’ll also strengthen their bond and make them very gentle cats that don't scratch or bite—or if they do, it's just a play-nibble that doesn't hurt.
I have two cats who are four and a half now, and they still play like this all the time. The female is smaller but she certainly holds her own; she often starts the mischief even if she ends up being the "victim" of my big old softie. She knows how to get her own back and drives him mad with her tricks—since she's so small and agile, she's an expert at hiding in the most impossible places.
Best regards
Hi there,
Going for the throat isn't playing; it’s predatory behaviour. Yes, you must intervene and push him away firmly with your hand, shouting 'NO!' very loudly and pointing your finger right in his face while staring him down. You need to do this every single time he does it, without exception. If he still tries it again, shut him in a room by himself for fifteen minutes.
Hi, I’m in the same boat, except mine are two 3-month-old kittens, brother and sister. It’s also the boy biting his sister on the throat rather than the scruff. She’s smaller than him and has a bit of trouble defending herself. Mind you, it isn't all the time. Should I tell him off (maybe a little tap)? Thanks.
For now, the older girl hasn't got any scabs and she isn't too traumatised by the little one either, since sometimes she’s the one who goes looking for him, but I’d like to stop him from pestering her too much... She’s a very timid cat who has also had a few health issues (she’s missing an eye due to a tumour, so she doesn't always see the kitten coming when he’s on her blind side). We never thought she’d accept a kitten so well, so now that they’re together, it makes me sad to see the little one bothering her.
Hi there!👌
Stop worrying, because you’ve already got the answer to your concerns: "we never thought she’d accept a kitten so well".
She has accepted him, so you need to accept their feline relationship: the older girl is teaching the kitten the ropes and putting him in his place, just like a mother cat would. When he goes too far for her liking, she’ll yowl to let him know he needs to stop, or she’ll just run away.
But she clearly likes him because she also goes over to him to play when she feels like it – they take it in turns.
Don’t get involved anymore, don’t overprotect your girl; she’s managing perfectly well on her own.
When my cats have a real go at each other, I shout louder than them and they stop.🙅 Otherwise, I just leave them to it.
Your rowdy teenager will settle down bit by bit as he grows up, and in a few months, they’ll be sleeping together.👍
The vet explained that neutering doesn't stop the hormones overnight, so it might still affect him for a few weeks, but he should settle down a bit after that.
Thanks for the advice! Play sessions are early in the morning and late at night when he’s really full of beans, and he always gets a little treat at the end. Mind you, I tend to be a bit of a soft touch – I need to let him win less often! 😅
Hi,
Just a reminder :)
For play sessions, try to see if there are any recurring times when the attacks happen and schedule the play for then. The play should be intense—he needs to be running, jumping, climbing, and really burning off some energy. You should also make sure he doesn't catch the toy too often (you don't win every hunt!), maybe once every 3 or 4 goes during a session. If he flops onto his side, slow the game down, and if he starts panting, stop the play altogether. Finishing the session with a little snack (I've hunted, I've killed the prey, now I'm eating it) is a great way to lead him into a calm period (I've hunted, I've eaten, I'm grooming myself, now I'm going to sleep).
I'm hoping he settles down a bit because I think she’s starting to get fed up, especially as I was woken up this morning by her screeching; when I went to see what was going on, the kitten was trying to mount her! He was only neutered about a week ago though, so I don't really understand it! Anyway, I’m heading back to the vet this afternoon to check how he’s healing, so I’ll take the opportunity to mention it to them. In the meantime, I’m trying to play with the kitten even more than before.
At the moment, the older girl hasn't got any scabs and she isn't too traumatised by the little one, as sometimes she’s actually the one looking for him, but I’d like to stop him from pestering her too much... She’s a very timid cat who has also had some health issues (she lost an eye to a tumour, so she doesn't always see the kitten coming if he’s on her blind side). We never thought she’d accept a kitten so well, so now that she has, it makes me sad to see the little one bothering her.
