Hello everyone,
I lost my Bernese Mountain Dog a month ago. He passed away peacefully in his sleep during the night and I didn't get to say goodbye, which is my biggest regret. He was nine years old and was my first ever dog when I was 17. I feel like he taught me so much and played a huge part in making me the person I am today, especially regarding my love of the outdoors.
Because he was getting on a bit and starting to struggle to keep up with me on our adventures, I’d started looking into getting a puppy several months before he passed. I wanted a smooth transition (for myself) and because people had told me a puppy could help rejuvenate an older dog. However, I was very particular because I’ve learnt a lot about dog breeding conditions and I wanted to find a reputable breeder. In the end, my dog died before that could happen.
It was very sudden and for the first week, I barely cried. I felt numb and had to make a conscious effort to tell myself "He’s gone", as I kept expecting to see him every morning. I carried on in my own little bubble, looking at adverts. I even went to see a few Australian Shepherd and Labrador puppies, but the thought of a puppy without my Berner there to supervise and show him the ropes honestly made me feel sick.
But the day before yesterday, I caved. I saw an advert from someone looking to rehome their 18-month-old Golden Retriever, and despite the previous owner pulling out at first, I took him. It’s only been a day, but I can see he’s a lovely boy; he knows far more tricks than my Berner did, gets on with my cat, only pulls slightly on the lead, lets me brush him, and is house-trained. In short, he’s a "ready-made" dog.
But now, for the first time in a month, I feel like the floodgates have opened and I can’t stop crying. When I think about taking him to the lakes, I get a knot in my stomach and feel like I need to cling to the memories of my old dog and not let this new arrival push them out. I couldn't bring myself to use my old lead, so I’m using the one his previous owner gave me instead, even though I find it too short.
Sorry, that was long, but it’s done me a lot of good to talk about it. I was wondering if anyone else has been through something similar? Getting another dog so soon after losing one? I’m worried I’m stopping myself from fully appreciating this Golden because of the guilt I feel towards my Bernese Mountain Dog.
