Advice needed: Staffy puppy and cat?! Help!!

Emi1002
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Hi everyone,

I’m new here :)

I really need some advice, please. I adopted a Staffy puppy a week ago; he is now about 10 weeks old. I got him from a hobby breeder where he was raised with his mum, his 7 siblings, and the breeder’s cats, chickens and rabbits.

I have a 6-year-old cat called Nami. She’s an absolute sweetheart; you can do anything with her and she never puts a claw out. She’s usually like glue to me but spends a lot of time outside in the summer (in the garden on the ground floor at my parents' place, so she’s used to being down there as well as in the upstairs flat where I live with my partner). We had two Labradors when we first got her, but they sadly passed away from old age, the last one just three months ago.

So, my puppy Harley arrived a week ago. He’s lovely, but he’s a puppy so all he thinks about is playing and nipping at anything that moves. I’m trying to train him bit by bit, but since he arrived, Nami has been avoiding the flat. She’s scared, and as soon as he sees or hears her—even if he’s asleep—he charges over. She just meows to go out or runs away. I haven’t left them alone together yet, obviously; when I'm not around, Harley stays shut in the living room.

I try to do face-to-face introductions as much as possible by stroking them both, holding Harley’s collar gently so he doesn't do anything silly, and I pull him back a bit when I get stressed that something might happen. Nami meows to get away but hasn’t swiped or used her claws yet. The other day she turned her back and he nipped her tail; she let out a little cry and ran off. I don't think he meant to hurt her, he just wanted to play with her tail because it was moving... and yesterday he nipped at her fur. I can't help but hold him back when she's there, I'm just too stressed that he’ll hurt her or that she’ll hurt him. I’m scared and so stressed out. I really hope they get used to each other; I don’t want Harley to think the place is just his now that she isn't coming around as much. I don't want them to fight because he's going to grow up and have a powerful jaw, and she won't. She’s my beautiful girl, I love her more than anything, and seeing her like this makes me feel sick with worry. I just don't know what to do or how to act.

Has anyone else been through this? Do Staffies usually get used to resident cats quickly? Is there a risk he might try to hurt her one day?

Thanks for your help

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13 answers
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    • M
    Mel1 Icon representing the flag French
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    No, of course he’ll get used to it in the end. You just need to keep a hold of him at the start.

    Mind you, I think it’s better to leave the kitty’s bowl inside so she gets used to the dog gradually. Even if she only pops in for a quick bite. Bit by bit, the dog will get used to seeing her and she’ll get used to the dog.

    Otherwise, she might get into the habit of staying outdoors or at your parents' place. That’s certainly what my cat started to do. And that's despite the fact my cat was raised with my Dogo Argentino—they were the best of mates. Mine isn’t really scared of my dog.

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    Emi1002
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    Why?? Am I going to have to keep holding him back all the time? Will I never be able to just leave them be side by side?

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    Amstaff'Forever
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    Amstaff’Forever: The cat doesn't have set mealtimes at all; she’s always been used to grazing and having her bowl available whenever she likes. So, I’ve put it on the table on the patio so that she can at least eat when she wants...

    As for the mouthing, I had a dog trainer come over today for our first lesson. She explained that I need to push him back by his collar while saying NO, but I have to be consistent, every single time. She also mentioned that if he actually hurts me, I should hold him by the scruff, but when he’s overexcited, he starts wriggling and growling and trying to bite so I'll let him go. He seems incredibly stubborn; I just hope it pays off at some point...

    You’ve got to hold him properly, but I won’t say that here or I'll get shot down in flames lol...

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    Emi1002
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    Lorna: if only she’d come inside and stay somewhere high up... but she just won’t. She meows to go back out as soon as I go and fetch her to bring her in. Sometimes in the morning I go and get her from outside and bring her into the bedroom with me for a bit of a snooze. We’ve got a terrace that leads onto the living room and then the bedroom, so at night I leave the patio doors open so she can come in, but no luck. We don’t have an upstairs because it’s a 56sqm flat, but since my parents live downstairs (in a house with a garden), she just goes there instead and doesn’t feel the need to come up to us. It makes me feel so sad and anxious.
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    Emi1002
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    Provéto Junior Conseil: Given that he only sees her about twice a day for a quick moment and he’s always in the house, won’t he get jealous eventually and start thinking he’s the one who owns the place, rather than her? That’s what’s worrying me the most 😩 I was waiting for him to have his jab in a week’s time before letting them spend a bit more time together; that way, if she swipes at him, it’s less of a risk... But I’m worried that if he does something mean to her (like biting her tail, for instance??) she’ll be even more scared in the future... 😢
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    Emi1002
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    Amstaff’Forever: My cat doesn't eat at set times at all; she's always been used to having her bowl left out and grazing whenever she feels like it. So, I’ve put it on the table on the patio so that she can at least eat whenever she wants...

    Regarding the nipping, I had a dog trainer come round today for our first session. She explained that I need to push him back by his collar while saying NO, but I have to be consistent, every single time. She also said that if he actually hurts me, I should hold him by the scruff, but when he’s worked up, he starts wriggling and growling and tries to bite so that I'll let go. He seems really stubborn; I just hope it pays off eventually...

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    Emi1002
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    Mel1: yeah, the problem is that because my parents' garden is just downstairs, she has the choice of staying outside or going to their place, so he doesn't see her often. He probably only sees her twice a day and then only briefly. To be honest, I'm the one who's scared and stressing out a lot. I'm just worried it won't work out, that they won't get used to each other etc. I'm always imagining the worst-case scenarios. I know he's only been here for a week but I'm feeling really down because I miss my girl. Usually, she’s so keen to see others even though she spends a lot of time outside, but right now she doesn't seem right, she’s very skittish and it's breaking my heart. The only times she's actually in the house on higher spots (tables etc.) is when I force her and go and get her, but then she just goes to the patio doors and meows non-stop to get out... and he comes over so I hold him back. He isn't acting hyper but he's intrigued; I'm scared he'll want to grab her tail or something to play and end up hurting her. I'm just scared of everything really lol... 😢
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    The most important thing is making sure your cat has a quiet space of her own that’s out of the dog's reach. For instance, in our house, the cats can go upstairs but the dog isn't allowed. For the first few weeks, my cats spent most of their time upstairs, but they gradually started coming back down and got back into their usual routine downstairs. Don't force anything, but do make sure you stop your puppy from lunging at Nami, especially if she’s got nowhere to run... It’ll only make her feel more anxious. Generally, cats are a hundred times faster and more agile than a puppy, so back when mine was pestering them, she never actually managed to catch them anyway.

    Nowadays, everyone gets along brilliantly and no one is left out of our evenings on the sofa.

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    ProvetoJuniorConseil
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    Hi, There’s no real difference between a Staffie and any other breed when it comes to getting them used to a cat; he isn't going to be more aggressive just because he’s a Staffie. The issue, of course, is that she wants a bit of peace and quiet while he wants to play all the time. You just have to let things happen naturally; it takes time. Keep doing as many face-to-face introductions as you can, as you mentioned, while keeping a close eye on the puppy. Stick with what you’re doing—it takes a while, but it’s the best way for them to get to know each other. Let your cat put him in his place a little if he gets too close; he’ll eventually understand that he needs to stay back or be more gentle. Have a lovely day, Mélanie – Veterinary Student at the Alfort National Veterinary School (EnvA). Project Manager for ProVéto Junior Conseil, the EnvA student-led consultancy http://proveto.net/
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    Amstaff'Forever
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    Feed the cat first and then your dog so he knows he’s below the cat in the pecking order. Try to get them socialising as much as you can, though it’s certainly not easy when the cat just bolts. You need to stay on top of the nipping every single day, because the sooner you get that sorted, the better.
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