Have you tried not even touching her, or even giving her no attention at all when she comes to sit next to you?
I’m a massive cuddler, a bit like a boa constrictor lol, and not all dogs (actually, very few 🤣) like that.
It was the same with my little one that I’ve had since she was a puppy; she’s the most timid of the lot. She follows me everywhere, but cuddles and being "clingy" are a no-go—you shouldn't even try to touch her. I mean, obviously, I don’t cuddle her because she doesn’t like it. Dogs have every right not to enjoy it, and it’s a matter of respect not to force them. However, because I was used to my previous dog who was incredibly inseparable from me, I had a tendency to reach out—a stray stroke, almost by reflex—if she came towards me. No, no, no.
The little one doesn’t like that either. Even if that "stray stroke" seems harmless to me and isn’t a cuddle in itself, it’s a lot for her. She comes over to sleep, not to be disturbed. So, no more strokes, not even a little hand, nothing. And sometimes, bit by bit, after several months, she comes to snuggle up against me. But be careful! You still mustn't touch her. Nowadays, every now and then, she tolerates that very quick, stray stroke. But it has to remain the absolute exception.
My mum has a dog like that too, and she’s been like it since she was tiny. Big cuddles just aren't her cup of tea.
Some dogs, even if they ask to be right next to their owner, aren't doing it for a cuddle; they want proximity on their own terms and by their own rules. They just don't like it. For both the dogs I’ve described, nap time is sacred. When they’re awake, they won't refuse a stroke, and might even lean against my legs for a proper fuss.
They might ask to lie near me (well, only the smaller one, and very occasionally), but during a film—that’s a long time—she just comes for a nap. And nap time is sacred. It’s not for cuddles, it’s not for strokes, it’s for sleeping.
They love you in a different way to the big "cuddly" types. You have to get used to it and understand that even a stroke in those moments is badly received (maybe there's a fear of getting a big squeeze if you’ve been a bit insistent at some point in her life). Or simply: don't bother me, I'm coming over to be with you, but I'm sleeping, I'm settled, I’m peaceful—don't pester me.
I’m not criticising you; as I said, I’m a massive softie with dogs myself. But there we go. You have to get into the habit of respecting their "quiet time," even if you miss the physical contact.
Try letting her jump up for a long time without touching her at all. Even ignore her. And see if she ends up staying... Or if she keeps walking away (with my girl, it took several months for her to realise that no, really, I wouldn’t pester her. Not even one stroke.)
