My partner and I are the proud new owners of a beautiful female Rhodesian Ridgeback. I’m posting here because I’d really appreciate some advice on how I can personally win her over and what I can do to get her to trust me.
Basically, since we brought her home, we’ve been doing everything possible to make her feel settled, happy, and safe. She is a particularly wary dog who is quite suspicious of strangers and doesn't give her trust easily.
The reason I’m looking for advice is that she has bonded quite well with my partner, but she remains very wary of me—it’s clear she’s actually frightened of me. For instance, she refuses to go out for a walk if it's just with me; she keeps her tail tucked between her legs, trembles, and won't budge. At home, even when I'm ignoring her, she’ll do a wide circle to stay behind me when I walk past, which really shows her lack of trust.
I realise she’s only been with us for a very short time (one week) and that every dog takes a different amount of time to get used to a new person, but I’d love to know what I can do right now (or what I should avoid doing) so she can start to trust me and stop being afraid.
Could it be that she wasn’t properly socialised with men? Or maybe I’m doing something wrong? Either way, I really want to be able to share lovely moments with her without all the stress and fear, so she can have the best life possible.
Thank you in advance for your help.
PS: Just to clarify, she was 4 months old when we got her.
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https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nZxfUCDT5W0 The "optiqua" breed? What’s that then? No visible ridge? @Napoleon, I’d encourage you to get a dog behaviourist involved. If you're mainly counting on patience and just waiting for things to move forward, it could well backfire on you.
I knew that would give you an excuse to have another go about trainers! 😁 I don’t have to justify myself, but just so you know, Optika is the name of a Ridgeback belonging to another member on here. I didn't see the ridge at first because I was watching my dog to see if I could let the two of them interact.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nZxfUCDT5W0 The "optiqua" breed? What’s that then? No visible ridge? Napoléon, I’d really encourage you to get a dog behaviourist involved if you’re mainly relying on patience and just waiting for things to move forward; that could easily backfire on you.
I knew that would give you a chance to have another go at trainers! 😁
I don't have to justify myself, but just for the record, Optika is the name of a Ridgeback belonging to another member on here and I didn't spot the ridge at first. I was busy watching my own dog to see if I could let the two of them interact.
Patience and staying calm, I agree with Docline. Sit down and talk to her softly, don't make any sudden movements... she needs to build up her confidence and adjust to her new surroundings...
I reckon this can be sorted without needing a pro.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nZxfUCDT5W0
The "optiqua" breed? What's that then? A hidden ridge?
Napoléon, I’d really encourage you to get in touch with a dog behaviourist if you're mainly relying on patience and just waiting for things to improve over time; it could easily backfire on you.
The advice mentioned earlier is spot on; much like with a cat, you’ll need to arm yourself with plenty of patience.
I came across a similar case recently (I’m a dog trainer) with a little Golden Retriever puppy who would always have an accident whenever the husband came home, though there was no issue with the mum or the daughter. During my first session, I completely ignored the dog (which is hard to do with a 3-month-old Golden!) 😁 and after an hour, the little girl quietly sniffed my legs and let me give her a stroke.
After three sessions, the problem was sorted; we then moved on to work on a few other bits as well.
I’ll leave you with a video of my "assistant" Border Collie putting a gorgeous young 7st (99lb) Ridgeback in her place.
Exactly, don't force anything. Get into the habit of sitting on the floor without looking at her – maybe having a read, for example – and just try to become "part of the furniture" to begin with. In any case, it’s always best to crouch down to get a puppy to come back to you; standing bolt upright and facing them head-on is usually more for a battle of wills when you're trying to assert your authority.
Cheers, I was torn between doing nothing and doing too much, but I think you're right – the key isn't to force the issue but just to be patient.
Hi there, it's definitely possible she wasn't properly socialised with men. In my opinion, the best thing is not to rush her. Just be patient and let her come to you in her own time. Feeding her yourself is a really good shout. You could also try playing with her if she’s up for it. Try crouching down when you approach her – if you’re quite tall, looming over her might be a bit intimidating. Let her have a good sniff of you before you try to stroke her... You could also get involved in her training sessions alongside your partner, since she seems to trust her. Some tasty treats will definitely help too. When it comes to walks, it might be best if your partner comes along as well for the time being. Hope that helps! Have a lovely day, Lucie.
Thanks for the advice. I've already decided not to force things, as I know that'll only make her more wary of me. I'll just have to be patient and stick with it!
Was it through a breeder? Or at a kennel? You don’t seem to know much but... was she a gift or a purchase? Was it love at first sight or a spur-of-the-moment thing? Had you reserved her? Generally, puppies leave a bit younger, so why four months? (Any particular issues?) It might help understand her behaviour... You say she’s scared of strangers; men and women, I assume? Be careful not to position yourself or lean over her. Instead, keep a bit of a distance and stand at an angle; you can crouch down when you want to interact with her and use a toy if necessary. You could go for a walk with your friend and the dog and make use of some open spaces to build a bond through play. Does she see other dogs when you're out? There’s probably a lot of socialisation work to do—are you considering getting help from a dog behaviourist?
My partner and I really fell in love with this breed; it was far from a spur-of-the-moment decision. In fact, we gave it a lot of thought beforehand and decided to take the plunge a week ago.
Regarding the breeder, it’s a lady who breeds Ridgebacks. I must admit, when I went there, it felt more like a "home-run" setup. I’m sure she looked after them well, but as to whether she really did everything properly, I have my doubts.
It’s true that puppies are usually adopted earlier. However, once we saw the little girl, we just fell for her and felt it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for us—even though, as you say, it might explain a few things. At that age, puppies are like sponges, and the slightest mistake can influence their behaviour later on.
She’s wary of strangers, especially men. When it’s a woman, she’s shy and hides behind "mum" a bit, but when it’s a man, she’d rather just turn back.
Given her temperament, we’re trying our best to let her discover the world step by step without rushing her.
Yes, she does see other dogs when we’re out, although she’s intimidated by them too.
We are indeed thinking about seeing a trainer if the situation doesn’t improve. But as I said, she’s only just arrived, and we want to give her time to adapt to us and our way of life. I’m going to be patient for now.
Exactly, don't force anything. Get into the habit of sitting on the floor without looking at her—to read a book, for example—and just try to "become part of the furniture" at first.
In any case, it’s always better to crouch down to get a puppy to come back; standing tall and facing them head-on is really only for when you're having a bit of a battle of wills to assert your authority.
It’s definitely possible that she wasn’t properly socialised with men. In my opinion, the best thing is not to push her too much. Just be patient and let her come to you in her own time. Feeding her yourself is actually a really good idea. You could also try playing with her if she’s up for it, and try crouching down when you approach her (if you’re tall, she might find it a bit intimidating if you’re towering over her). Let her have a good sniff of you before you try to pet her...
You could also think about doing some training sessions together with your partner, whom she seems to trust, and using plenty of treats. For walks, it’s probably best if your partner comes along too for the time being.
