My partner and I are the proud new owners of a beautiful female Rhodesian Ridgeback. I’m posting here because I’d really appreciate some advice on how I can personally win her over and what I can do to get her to trust me.
Basically, since we brought her home, we’ve been doing everything possible to make her feel settled, happy, and safe. She is a particularly wary dog who is quite suspicious of strangers and doesn't give her trust easily.
The reason I’m looking for advice is that she has bonded quite well with my partner, but she remains very wary of me—it’s clear she’s actually frightened of me. For instance, she refuses to go out for a walk if it's just with me; she keeps her tail tucked between her legs, trembles, and won't budge. At home, even when I'm ignoring her, she’ll do a wide circle to stay behind me when I walk past, which really shows her lack of trust.
I realise she’s only been with us for a very short time (one week) and that every dog takes a different amount of time to get used to a new person, but I’d love to know what I can do right now (or what I should avoid doing) so she can start to trust me and stop being afraid.
Could it be that she wasn’t properly socialised with men? Or maybe I’m doing something wrong? Either way, I really want to be able to share lovely moments with her without all the stress and fear, so she can have the best life possible.
Thank you in advance for your help.
PS: Just to clarify, she was 4 months old when we got her.
Translated from French
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"Solène 46, as I’ve said a few times before, it’s true that I also think many trainers don’t always help (or sometimes actually make things worse), but that doesn't stop me thinking it’s still a VERY useful profession." In my opinion, the problem comes from the fact that many trainers try to tackle behaviour issues when they have no expertise in that area. The issue on this thread isn’t really a trainer's job. As the saying goes, everyone should stick to what they know; dog trainer and behaviourist are two different jobs, even if some people have trained in both.
There’s a lot of exploitation at many levels. Like taking credit for things improving when it would have happened anyway without any intervention (this is especially true with very young puppies). Pros can prey on a novice's lack of experience, whether intentionally or not.
Yes, the issue with the OP's dog is more a job for a behaviourist, but in my mind, it’s impossible to be one without the other, and when I say "trainer", I'm thinking "behaviourist trainer".
What makes you say it’s only a minor concern and nothing to worry about? I’d be interested to hear more if you’re happy to elaborate. (PS this isn't my line of work) (Message for Tania ;-))
Solène 46
As I’ve mentioned a few times before, I do agree that many dog trainers don’t always help—and sometimes they actually make things worse—but that doesn’t stop me from thinking it’s still a VERY useful profession.
In my opinion, the problem is that a lot of trainers try to tackle behavioural issues when they don’t actually have the expertise in that area.
The issue being discussed here isn't really within a trainer’s remit.
As the saying goes, it’s a case of each to their own trade; dog trainers and behaviourists are two different jobs, even if some people have qualified in both.
Of course a pro can help, but you don't need to panic at every little thing—it's nothing dramatic. It’s your job, so obviously you’re going to talk up a visit as soon as possible, Solene46. But I honestly think that for now, the little one just needs time to settle in.
I agree with Tania. Pet forums are full of stories about behaviours being made worse by bad training methods, so it seems a bit odd to me to suggest calling in a professional when the dog has only been in her new home for a week. The advice about managing her food bowls is solid, provided there’s plenty of patience. To me, her attitude is perfectly normal; she’s just learning where she fits into the household, so it’s natural that she’s a bit more intimidated by the man of the house. You just need to win her over.
Looking at the advice given, I think he’s already putting quite a bit of it into practice.
I think we have different takes on the situation and probably different goals in mind for this dog. That’s why our approaches and advice differ.
As I’ve mentioned a few times before, I do think a lot of trainers don’t always help (and sometimes they do make things worse), but I still believe it’s a VERY useful profession. When I suggest seeing one, I’m assuming they’ll find a good one; not saying it doesn't mean "just pick anyone, a bad one is as good as a good one"! ^^
It’s hard to tell the good from the bad. He could ask other owners for a few recommendations in his local area.
From what I’ve read, this dog isn’t comfortable with pretty much anyone—just slightly more at ease with the lady of the house, and less so with the husband and strangers, regardless of gender. Even if there are slight differences, the fear and discomfort are there, and I think it’s a shame to risk leaving her in that state for too long.
I believe it’s possible to shake up the approach in tiny stages to shift her from one mental state to another. It won’t be an instant fix, but it’ll put her in a different frame of mind fairly quickly, which would then help with further training.
The OP seems really dedicated and full of good intentions, but that isn't always enough—again, it depends on what result you’re hoping for in the end.
It would be a shame to risk not seeing this dog reach her full potential.
I see plenty of people who don't quite manage it. I don’t think you can just wing these things, and time is of the essence when they’re puppies to make sure things are bedded in properly and to give her a life with as few fears as possible.
Thanks for your replies and advice. I’m not really in favour of rushing to see a trainer just yet; as Albator said, after all, Djaya has only been home for a week.
I’m going to be patient, give her some time, and follow the tips you’ve shared. Of course, I'll keep a close eye on how things are going so the problem doesn't drag on or get any worse, as I wouldn't want to make things even harder further down the line.
