My partner and I are the proud new owners of a beautiful female Rhodesian Ridgeback. I’m posting here because I’d really appreciate some advice on how I can personally win her over and what I can do to get her to trust me.
Basically, since we brought her home, we’ve been doing everything possible to make her feel settled, happy, and safe. She is a particularly wary dog who is quite suspicious of strangers and doesn't give her trust easily.
The reason I’m looking for advice is that she has bonded quite well with my partner, but she remains very wary of me—it’s clear she’s actually frightened of me. For instance, she refuses to go out for a walk if it's just with me; she keeps her tail tucked between her legs, trembles, and won't budge. At home, even when I'm ignoring her, she’ll do a wide circle to stay behind me when I walk past, which really shows her lack of trust.
I realise she’s only been with us for a very short time (one week) and that every dog takes a different amount of time to get used to a new person, but I’d love to know what I can do right now (or what I should avoid doing) so she can start to trust me and stop being afraid.
Could it be that she wasn’t properly socialised with men? Or maybe I’m doing something wrong? Either way, I really want to be able to share lovely moments with her without all the stress and fear, so she can have the best life possible.
Thank you in advance for your help.
PS: Just to clarify, she was 4 months old when we got her.
Translated from French
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Hi Norman, any updates? 🙂
Evening, just a quick update on the situation. It’s been just over two weeks now and things have really improved! I’ve been following the advice you gave me (food bowl, patience, always trying to speak to her in a soft voice, kneeling down, etc.) and honestly, she’s doing so much better! I can take her out for walks without any stress now and even let her off the lead (specifically when I'm out walking without my partner). She’s still a tiny bit shy with me, but she gives me little licks and isn't scared of me at home at all anymore.
Thanks for the update 👌
Hi Norman, any updates? 🙂
Evening all, just a quick update on the situation. It’s been a bit over two weeks now and things have definitely improved!
I’ve been following the advice you gave me (the food bowl, patience, always trying to speak in a soft voice, kneeling down, etc.) and honestly, it’s going so much better!
I can take her out for walks properly now and even let her off the lead (just to clarify, that's when I'm out without my partner). She’s still a tad shy with me, but she gives me little licks and she isn't scared of me at home at all anymore.
The other day he said "the pros get a lot of stick" (implying that the comments about them on the forum, including mine, are quite harsh) and I replied—I can’t even remember exactly what now—something about how they aren't exactly cheap. I was playing on the double meaning of what he said, but I think he took it the wrong way and he’s seemed a bit miffed ever since. I shouldn’t have said it. I was only joking; I thought he’d see the funny side.
Far too many dog trainers think they are, or try to pass themselves off as, behaviourists – the proof is right there in the post from the trainer above. With a proper professional, the issue described (if it even was an issue) would have been sorted in one session.
Is that for me?
A lot of puppies aren’t socialised by the 'sellers'. The buyer is perfectly capable of doing it themselves as soon as their little pup arrives. By taking it slowly but surely, without overdoing it so as not to tire the puppy out... meeting people and other dogs in various places as you go along. Nothing to worry about in my opinion.
Fair enough, I’ve noted your views on training and behaviourists, even if I only partially agree.
I understand that for most of you, there’s nothing to worry about and she just needs to settle in. As for me, just because I’m suggesting a pro doesn't mean I think the current situation is absolutely critical. I’m more concerned about what the future holds for this little girl if the owners are left to their own devices to help her.
I’ve got the message that you, Tania, and perhaps others think I’m wrong. I feel the same about you. That’s life. As I said, I don't think we have the same goals for her; if it’s just a case of giving her more time, then yes, give her time. But I want much more than that for her.
Anyway, the OP has said they don’t want a pro (for now, at least), so they'll see how it goes. There’s nothing more we can do but wait and see if the advice works (the husband doing the feeding, giving her time to adjust, etc.). The OP might be happy soon because she's "made progress" (which is what he wants, as he mentioned in a post). Good for him. I’m already pretty sure I’ll still find it a shame.
Not everything can be explained (especially when the OP isn't asking for it), it has to be lived; you can’t just wing it, it’s something you learn with time—a lot of time. It’s such a shame to keep this little girl waiting when a pro (a good one! ^^) could help ease her discomfort right now. We know that many novices don't manage it on their own—and I’m not talking about the typical fear of a two-month-old puppy just taken from its litter into a new home, but the fear of a 4-month-old dog given the history described and the results of the attempts made so far, which speak volumes to me.
But it’s not my call.
A lot of puppies aren't socialised by the 'sellers'. It's perfectly possible for the buyer to do it themselves as soon as their little pup arrives. By taking it slowly but surely, without overdoing it to avoid overwhelming the puppy... meeting people and other dogs in various places bit by bit.
