My Jack Russell is making my life a living hell

Analine13

23/08/2019, 19:39

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Good evening,

I'm writing this today because I'm at my wits' end. My Jack Russell is 6 years old and he's making my life a living hell. This has been going on for about 4 years now.

When he was a puppy, he was really lovely, well-behaved and cuddly... He didn't get into as much mischief as some other Jack Russells I know. We had a very close bond; he was my little ray of sunshine (and he still is!).

Four years ago, I had some health problems that lasted for 3 years. At the start of those issues, my dog's behaviour hadn't changed, so I don't really know if it's linked or not.

It started with a growl one evening when I touched his food bowl; he didn't like it and was quite threatening. I told him off, but that was just the beginning. Bit by bit, it got worse until he started attacking me (very often). He would chase me to bite me, and I'd have to lock myself in a room to "escape" him. I know it sounds ridiculous when you say it like that, but he must have sensed my fear. I've been bitten many times; I have scars on my legs and I even had my finger sliced open, which needed stitches.

I've done everything to try and understand him; I've taken him to several vets and seen a behaviourist, but nothing helped and it's just got worse.

Despite everything, I've always been patient and I've NEVER thought about getting rid of him, even though my family and friends told me he was dangerous and that I needed to (and still need to) let him go, for my own sake but also for his. My relationship is very strained; my partner didn't want the dog anymore after he bit me right in front of him.

Our old neighbours complained about his howling; we got a note when we first moved in and then nothing. I thought it had passed, that it was just a phase at the start. In the end, the residents' association received complaints. So, I made the decision to move rather than leave my dog, because we could have stayed in that building, but only without him. To be honest, I even thought the neighbours were exaggerating because I'd never heard my Jack make noises like that.

So, we moved into a new flat, and my dog seemed more content and, above all, more relaxed. No barking, no complaints. We've been in this flat for 3 months and I finally realised this weekend that he was howling his head off whenever we weren't there. Just to be sure, I'd even closed the windows—we're on the top floor. I could hear him howling even when I was outside the building. I've felt sick about it ever since; I don't dare go out for fear of him disturbing the neighbours. I go to work with a knot in my stomach. We're happy here, the neighbours are very quiet and I'm so scared of bothering them since we're new.

(I'll post the rest in the comments)

Translated from French

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Analine13

27/08/2019, 02:41

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@Quiz @Aggie19 @Lorna

I’m still desperate to find a way to keep him—my plan was to spend a few days at my mum's with him and take him to the vet for a full check-up, just to see if he’s poorly or if there’s something else going on, and maybe find a solution I hadn't thought of. My mum agreed to have us stay (well, having me there isn't an issue, but it's a different story with my Jack Russell).

Except now, as you can probably tell, it’s nearly 3.30 am and I’m already at my wits' end.

I was fast asleep when I heard a noise in the lounge. I got up and he’d done a wee everywhere right in front of our bedroom door—and a poo as well, of course. I’ve just finished cleaning it all up. I didn't say anything to him because I don't want a row in the middle of the night, plus I don't want the neighbours to hear us at this hour. He still growled at me, though. I’ve got work tomorrow and I feel like he’s doing everything he can just to wind me up. It sounds daft saying that, but that’s just how I feel with the exhaustion and everything else.

Last night, I slept on the sofa to be in the living room with him so he wouldn't get into any mischief. Mind you, as I mentioned before, he’d had an accident and then gone and laid right in it. You have to understand that I never usually sleep in the lounge, but as I had that appointment this morning, I wanted to limit the damage so I could actually go (which unfortunately proved impossible).

I’m so sorry that my posts are nothing but moaning, but it really helps to get it all out to people who take the time to listen—or rather, to read. As I said, everyone I know is telling me to rehome him. For the first time, with you lot, I feel like I’m getting some objective opinions. Even when some of you suggest I should give him up, you explain why and I can actually understand the reasoning.

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Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French

26/08/2019, 15:17

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I’m unfortunately not convinced that residential training is the solution. A good professional will be able to retrain your dog firmly but without being harsh, and get good results with him. But if he comes home to find you still full of anxiety, the vicious circle will just start all over again. That’s why any serious dog trainer works with the owner first. :-) Getting the dog back on track usually doesn’t take that long; the real work is making sure the owner follows through. But given how serious the situation is, I think Analine will be very motivated to follow the trainer's recommendations and put in the effort to avoid falling back into that nightmare. And seeing your dog come back much happier in himself, seeing him transformed, is a huge motivator.

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Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French

26/08/2019, 14:51

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I hadn't heard of that either, at least not over here. It might be a solution, but only if Analine really puts the work in while the dog is away—perhaps with some professional help...

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Quiz

26/08/2019, 14:19

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I’m afraid I’m not convinced that residential training is the solution. A good professional will be able to retrain your pooch firmly but without being harsh, and achieve great results with him. But if he comes back home to find you’re still just as anxious, the vicious cycle will only start all over again.

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Analine13

26/08/2019, 14:12

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@Analine, just so you know, some behaviourists offer a "residential training" or "board and train" option. I think that could be a good way to get a fresh start with your dog. You leave him at the trainer's for a few days (or even weeks), and they’ll do a full assessment and work on the basics with him. After that, they can explain the root causes of this vicious circle and show you how to settle him back into the house without falling into old habits, building on the progress made during his stay. Which part of the country are you in?

Darn, I’d written a message but I can't find it now – I must have messed up when I hit send.

I'm based in Montpellier. In my last message, I was asking if the local rescue centre has a good reputation? I imagine they’re completely overwhelmed with dogs (in case I can't find any other solution). I know the one in Montpellier doesn't have the best reviews.

I had no idea residential training was even a thing! That’s brilliant news. Mind you, financially, I’m not sure if I can manage it. I’ll have to check the prices but I expect it’ll be quite pricey.

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Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French

26/08/2019, 13:00

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@Analine, just so you know, some behaviourists offer "residential training" (often called board and train). I think it could be a great way to get a fresh start with your dog. You leave him with the trainer for several days (or even weeks), and they’ll carry out a full assessment and work on the basics with him. Afterwards, they'll be able to explain the root causes of this vicious cycle and show you how to settle your dog back into the home without falling back into old habits, by building on the foundations laid during his stay. Which part of the country are you in?

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Analine13

26/08/2019, 12:42

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You've got to ask yourself: do you want to stick with it and get things back on track or not?

I’m dying to. I’ve been hanging in there for four years now, so I can wait a bit longer. The problem is, I’m not the only one who has to put up with it.

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Analine13

26/08/2019, 12:41

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Honestly, it’s just not sustainable anymore! You’re going to ruin your physical and mental health... loving your dog is one thing, but making yourself ill is quite another. You seem at the end of your tether, which is completely understandable. We’d love to be able to reassure you, but it really looks like you've reached the point of no return. As I said in my previous post, unless you can get past your fear and work really hard with a good behaviourist, there’s very little chance of things changing. It’s rare that we reach this conclusion on this forum because we all believe that problem behaviours can be improved, but in this case—for my part, at least—I don’t think there will be much progress until you let go of that fear. This hurts so much. I feel like if I take him somewhere to rehome him, it’s almost like having him put to sleep because I’ll never see him again. I’m so incredibly sad; he’s my only comfort. I need to hold him and give him a cuddle. My god, if I have to make this decision, it’s going to be so hard. How do I do it? How do you wake up with him for the last time, or go on that one last car journey? Knowing that all these things are the very last ones? I can’t stop asking myself these questions, it’s horrible. I love him so much. He drives me round the bend, but I love him to bits. The problem is that 90% of the time is bad. If I could have, I would have found a little cottage with no neighbours, so I could start his training all over again and he could howl as much as he liked in the meantime, because it’s such a long process. If it were up to me, I’d have waited a bit longer. Because yes, he gets on my nerves—and that’s putting it mildly—but I can be patient. The problem is my partner; he actually agreed to move house just so I could keep my little Jack. I don’t think he’s going to make any more concessions now.

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