Severe puppy blues since he arrived

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Hi everyone!

I'm new to the forum and, not knowing what to do anymore, I'm turning to you hoping to find some answers.

So, on Saturday morning, my partner and I visited a puppy show and we came home with a 2-month-old fluffball, a Golden Retriever.

After talking to the breeder about our concerns regarding keeping a dog of this breed in a flat, she assured us it wouldn't be an issue at all.

So we bought everything he'd need for his well-being: a fabric crate for the living room with a bed and a big cushion inside, bowls, toys, lead, collar, etc. Basically, the works.

Since Sunday, we've already managed to teach him that he needs to go outside to do his business (we have a tiny private garden). He still has the odd little accident at night, but nothing serious.

He's really struggling with the lead and collar (he sulks and just freezes, but he's slowly starting to get used to it).

But since he arrived, I feel like I've made a massive mistake in adopting him. I don't feel right at all, even though I love animals.

Thoughts like taking him back to the breeder or rehoming him keep crossing my mind, despite myself. And I feel so guilty about it.

Maybe it's because of how much our lives have been turned upside down.

My partner hasn't been back to her driving theory classes yet; she's going to try going for an hour and leaving him alone, but I can already imagine the chaos.

The idea of joining a gym doesn't seem possible anymore either. I feel like we have no time for ourselves.

At night and in the morning, he howls and cries when we leave him in the living room to sleep. I tried giving him a hot water bottle to remind him of the warmth of his littermates, but nothing works.

When I finally go to see him after 15 minutes (at 1 am... the neighbours must be fuming), he’s so happy and rushes to my feet, staying glued to me or following me everywhere if I move.

It breaks my heart to put him back in his crate and tell him to stay, only to hear him crying as soon as the door is shut.

I’d love to take him into bed with us to comfort him, but I know if I give in, his training will be ruined.

I find it hard to be firm with him, to say "no" when he’s being hyper even if he’s being naughty. I feel bad afterwards because, in the end, he just melts my heart.

But I just feel terrible...

This Saturday morning, we're taking him to a puppy training class, hoping to learn a lot.

What should I do? Can you give me some advice, please?

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    “She’s stuck-up and she says so herself.”

    Yeah, whatever, but ‘only’ with people like you—aggressive people who then try to act like they’re being nice. There’s a very clear word for that kind of behaviour: two-faced.

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    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    "My original post was indeed calm, measured and, above all, polite."

    LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

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    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    You're right Leati, there's just no reasoning with that narrow-minded lot.........

    And people like that can't stand it when others have a different opinion to mine, so their only defence is to call everyone else sheep. That just shows they don't know Célineo or Leati at all; they'll always speak their minds no matter what, whether it's to me or other members.

    Mind you, I'd take it from them because I think they'd at least have the decency to say it politely and message me privately to have a civil chat about it.

    And it's true, you can get a lot sorted in private, even patching things up with people you've clashed with before.

    But I know that'll never happen with the people we're talking about here.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    My original post was indeed calm, measured, and above all, polite. The downward spiral we’re seeing here is purely the result of the exchange I’ve been forced into with her. The OP has fled the forum, others are pointing out her behaviour, and I’m just the latest person to reach the same conclusion. I’m not trying to antagonise anyone; I’m putting forward an argument and providing factual information. This "pseudo-science", as you call it, is actually the reality of the situation. You have your own way of interpreting certain definitions; you twist words and refuse to let anyone set the record straight, even when it’s perfectly justified. Dellys: A thread isn’t a post, and it’s certainly not a discussion in itself. Discussions centre around a thread (which can also be called a topic), and a post is a single "reply"... You really are exasperating... She’s haughty, and she says so herself. That goes hand in hand with being full of yourself and hypocritical. Again, go and check your definitions if you don’t agree. Stirring up animosity does absolutely nothing to help people take in information. That’s the first time I’ve heard such absolute rubbish! Don’t confuse information conveyed through shock advertising with information presented as a crushing personal attack on someone. Aside from speculating, she hasn’t even managed to quote my first "oh-so-bitter" post directed at her. The facts are simple. The OP did a runner after asking for a bit of support for them and their dog, all because of this woman’s intervention.
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    Célineo
    Célineo Icon representing the flag French
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    I think so, mind you, I haven't checked that they were actually quoting you :-/ I’m having computer trouble so it’s all a bit tricky. "Also a lack of judgement, you don't even realise the impact of your phrasing, which is quite frankly appalling. 'My thoughts exactly! It’s like asking a nine-month-old human baby to be able to control their bladder and sphincters!!!!!!!!!'" Unless you don’t know what punctuation is for?
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    "Leati, if you’re against fur but buy a coat with it on the hood and then moan about it, it just shows how thick you are! It’s the same old story, you should do your research first..."

    Faux fur is a thing, you know. Besides, it isn’t real; I’ve checked with several local tailors. It’s faux, just a very good imitation. I was even told, quite firmly, that for about £35, there’s no way it could be real. Given the price real fur goes for these days, I’d have paid £85 at the very least, so before you start talking, just pipe down.

    Dellys, I think you’re wasting your breath with people like that; they’ll do anything to have the last word, even when they’re wrong. They’re just pig-headed, what can you do?

    *****: I think you’re really overstepping the mark now. To say that we just follow whatever Dellys does is absolute rubbish; you’re well and truly just making things up in your head. Whether I get on with someone or not, if they’re wrong, I’ll tell them. Even if my worst enemy were right, I’d admit it. I don’t just side with the strongest group, and unlike some people on here, I never change my tune to fit in. Dellys is someone I respect because of her advice and her bluntness. She’s got the same mindset as me and she’s not afraid to tell someone to ****** off if she has to. But if she’d been in the wrong, I would have told her so. I think you need to give the paranoia a rest.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    I only ever question myself when I’m actually in the wrong, so this has nothing to do with ego.

    Oh really, Célinéo? Has Axelote been having a go at my punctuation?

    I didn't spot that.

    Now I’m really laughing, for two reasons: firstly, I actually use punctuation quite a lot, and secondly, he’s trying to lecture me when he wrote this: "The faults mentioned against you exists [sic]". Even if I missed a comma, it’s nothing compared to that absolute howler of a mistake!...........

    I’m not contradicting myself and I’m not doing any back-pedalling; that’s just your take on things, not the reality of the situation.

    Oh, so I’m making things up now just because I don’t want to look at your link? I don’t see the connection!

    Because it was specifically about the word "thread", and I’ve already answered that.

    Everyone knows what a thread is on a forum: it’s simply a discussion.

    And like I said, the word thread can be used interchangeably with the word "post".

    If you’ve got the cheek to say that a thread isn’t a discussion on a forum, then you clearly aren't used to the internet and don't spend much time on message boards.

    End of discussion.

    Anyway, have a lovely evening, sweetheart.

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    Célineo
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    If I ever disagree with Dellys, I’ll be sure to say so. I’ve clashed with most of the members on this forum because my views go against the grain of a lot of the advice given here. You’re judging again without knowing the facts... In your posts, you talk about narrow-mindedness, you ask if she even knows what punctuation is for, and you spout some pseudo-science about the "thread", forgetting that a forum is a place for discussion, sharing, and exchange. You call her arrogant, a hypocrite, full of herself... Does that sound like advice aimed at getting a point across? Besides, if you think that being calm and gentle is how you convey information effectively, you’re wrong. People remember things that shock them far more than quiet explanations. It’s a shame, but that’s just the way it is. (Just look at anti-fur adverts—we forget the tamer ones and remember the others. The ones that hurt. The ones that make you cry. Sometimes, being blunt is necessary...). So, you’re putting everyone’s back up for nothing, and the actual substance of your advice leaves me baffled...
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    So anyone with an opinion that differs from yours is cut from the same cloth as me then. Noted. The trouble with flaws is that they’re hard to admit. The bigger the ego, the harder it is to take an honest look at yourself and let the truth come out. The flaws pointed out about you are very real; the fact that several people have mentioned them proves it. You’re the one playing word games here, not me. I’m just highlighting your contradictory claims and your desperate backpedalling. Of course you couldn’t care less about my link; you’re living in a dream world where you think you know things that are actually wrong, and you refuse to look at the proof. Words have definitions. Those are the rules of language. Are you planning to rewrite the dictionary to suit your own narrative? You can’t even manage to see for yourself that your definition of a forum "thread" is completely wrong, even when it’s shoved right under your nose. I’m "splitting hairs" on details that are perfectly relevant here, seeing as you’re an active participant. I’m repeating myself, but I’m asking you to copy and paste the rude and unconstructive comments from my first post directed at you. You’ve got zero credibility right now... The only reason the "tone" of my message bothers you is because it’s actually a criticism of you...
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Célinéo: On the contrary, the whole point was simply to help get the message across more clearly.

    Otherwise, I’m still waiting for you to show me exactly where I wasn’t being constructive or polite in my first post—feel free to use quotes to back it up.

    If you honestly think Dellys is keeping her cool, then your judgement is clearly biased because you’re close to her.

    Case in point: Kel-Morian didn’t even last a full day on this forum after asking for some help and support.

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