Severe puppy blues since he arrived

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Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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Hi everyone!

I'm new to the forum and, not knowing what to do anymore, I'm turning to you hoping to find some answers.

So, on Saturday morning, my partner and I visited a puppy show and we came home with a 2-month-old fluffball, a Golden Retriever.

After talking to the breeder about our concerns regarding keeping a dog of this breed in a flat, she assured us it wouldn't be an issue at all.

So we bought everything he'd need for his well-being: a fabric crate for the living room with a bed and a big cushion inside, bowls, toys, lead, collar, etc. Basically, the works.

Since Sunday, we've already managed to teach him that he needs to go outside to do his business (we have a tiny private garden). He still has the odd little accident at night, but nothing serious.

He's really struggling with the lead and collar (he sulks and just freezes, but he's slowly starting to get used to it).

But since he arrived, I feel like I've made a massive mistake in adopting him. I don't feel right at all, even though I love animals.

Thoughts like taking him back to the breeder or rehoming him keep crossing my mind, despite myself. And I feel so guilty about it.

Maybe it's because of how much our lives have been turned upside down.

My partner hasn't been back to her driving theory classes yet; she's going to try going for an hour and leaving him alone, but I can already imagine the chaos.

The idea of joining a gym doesn't seem possible anymore either. I feel like we have no time for ourselves.

At night and in the morning, he howls and cries when we leave him in the living room to sleep. I tried giving him a hot water bottle to remind him of the warmth of his littermates, but nothing works.

When I finally go to see him after 15 minutes (at 1 am... the neighbours must be fuming), he’s so happy and rushes to my feet, staying glued to me or following me everywhere if I move.

It breaks my heart to put him back in his crate and tell him to stay, only to hear him crying as soon as the door is shut.

I’d love to take him into bed with us to comfort him, but I know if I give in, his training will be ruined.

I find it hard to be firm with him, to say "no" when he’s being hyper even if he’s being naughty. I feel bad afterwards because, in the end, he just melts my heart.

But I just feel terrible...

This Saturday morning, we're taking him to a puppy training class, hoping to learn a lot.

What should I do? Can you give me some advice, please?

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Anyway, thank you for your reply; I'll definitely take it on board since you're clearly so experienced. I'm not planning on getting another pet, but from now on I'll look at pet shows and pet shops with a bit more perspective. I think it's great that people like you are around to give us advice. See you soon.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    You’re asking: "what’s the point of these pet shows if they aren’t there to encourage people who want to buy a dog or a cat?" Just because they exist doesn’t mean they’re worth recommending. It’s the same with budget dry food; just because it’s on the shelves doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to buy. In both instances, that’s why there’s a real need to keep people informed.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Benameur, talk about what you actually know.

    You clearly don’t know the first thing about the breeding world and the way some people operate.

    I’m not painting everyone with the same brush; the facts are right there.

    I’ll remind you that I’ve been breeding for over 20 years, so I know this industry—and the dodgy dealers in it—inside out.

    That’s exactly why I feel I have a duty to keep people informed.

    If you or anyone else wants to ignore it, I couldn’t care less—you’re all adults—but at least others will be aware and won’t make such a mistake. It’s not just for their own sake, but for the welfare of the animals too; buying from them is indirectly supporting these kinds of breeders.

    This goes hand in hand with the advice about pet shops, which should also be avoided like the plague.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Replying to @dellys regarding breeders at pet shows, or rather, I have a question: what is the point of these shows if not to encourage people—or anyone looking to buy a dog, cat, bird, or whatever else—to choose a breeder who is exhibiting there? You can easily go and visit the breeder's premises, or use the internet to get an idea of where the animals are being raised. We shouldn't be too quick to lump these shows in with illegal trafficking. This is just my own take on it; I’m not writing this to offend you, but simply to support having a free choice when buying a pet.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    I’ve got nothing to gain from this. What I would have liked, for your sake, was for you to wake up to a few home truths. Never mind, hopefully this will at least be useful for others. Am I "vile" just because I’m pointing out something you shouldn't have done? And that isn't even really a criticism, just an observation. Well yes, since you’re being so stubborn, I’m bound to come across as "vile" to you, even though in a way I was trying to help you out for the future, just in case you ever want to get another pet. I won’t be there to see it, but I hope that when that day comes, you’ll remember this conversation. Question myself? Not a chance! I’ll never stop doing my duty to keep people informed.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Dellys, you win. I’ll leave you lot to it.

    You are a truly vile person, just so you know, though seeing how you behave, I don’t think you’re actually capable of any self-reflection.

    Thanks a lot, for us and our little pup. Really.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Kel-Moriant, we provide information HERE, whether you like it or not!!!!!

    And what I can't get my head around is how pig-headed you're being.

    Because you see, if your "breeder" really was worth their salt, you wouldn't be scrounging for info HERE; you'd be getting it from her...............................

    Exactly – it’s a reputable breeder’s job to provide aftercare and offer support to the buyer.

    Clearly (and it’s no surprise), this person was just happy to take your money and be done with it.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    What can I say about that feeling of "puppy blues" when you first bring a little one home? My son had a real knack for lumbering me with cats. At one point, I had as many as five of them in my two-bedroom flat on the 8th floor, and with no balcony either. Every time a new one arrived, it was only supposed to be for a few days... For the first few days, I’d get really down, telling myself I should have just said no, but then the animal settles, finds their place, and you find yours again too. It’s certainly a big change for you, but it’s the same for them. You have to learn to just let them be for a bit while you do your own thing, and you’ll see that everything will turn out fine. Hang in there!
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Well, go and get your info somewhere else, please. What you don't seem to grasp is that you're being ABSOLUTELY no help at all. It’s clearly gone right over your head; instead of sharing information in a sensible way, you’re just putting people down without even realising it. You seriously need to rethink the way you handle yourself.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Here’s a link to a magazine I put together recently about pet shops. They’re basically based on the same principle as puppy farms. I’d love for you to have a look at it.

    http://madmagz.com/fr/magazine/207614

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