Severe puppy blues since he arrived

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Hi everyone!

I'm new to the forum and, not knowing what to do anymore, I'm turning to you hoping to find some answers.

So, on Saturday morning, my partner and I visited a puppy show and we came home with a 2-month-old fluffball, a Golden Retriever.

After talking to the breeder about our concerns regarding keeping a dog of this breed in a flat, she assured us it wouldn't be an issue at all.

So we bought everything he'd need for his well-being: a fabric crate for the living room with a bed and a big cushion inside, bowls, toys, lead, collar, etc. Basically, the works.

Since Sunday, we've already managed to teach him that he needs to go outside to do his business (we have a tiny private garden). He still has the odd little accident at night, but nothing serious.

He's really struggling with the lead and collar (he sulks and just freezes, but he's slowly starting to get used to it).

But since he arrived, I feel like I've made a massive mistake in adopting him. I don't feel right at all, even though I love animals.

Thoughts like taking him back to the breeder or rehoming him keep crossing my mind, despite myself. And I feel so guilty about it.

Maybe it's because of how much our lives have been turned upside down.

My partner hasn't been back to her driving theory classes yet; she's going to try going for an hour and leaving him alone, but I can already imagine the chaos.

The idea of joining a gym doesn't seem possible anymore either. I feel like we have no time for ourselves.

At night and in the morning, he howls and cries when we leave him in the living room to sleep. I tried giving him a hot water bottle to remind him of the warmth of his littermates, but nothing works.

When I finally go to see him after 15 minutes (at 1 am... the neighbours must be fuming), he’s so happy and rushes to my feet, staying glued to me or following me everywhere if I move.

It breaks my heart to put him back in his crate and tell him to stay, only to hear him crying as soon as the door is shut.

I’d love to take him into bed with us to comfort him, but I know if I give in, his training will be ruined.

I find it hard to be firm with him, to say "no" when he’s being hyper even if he’s being naughty. I feel bad afterwards because, in the end, he just melts my heart.

But I just feel terrible...

This Saturday morning, we're taking him to a puppy training class, hoping to learn a lot.

What should I do? Can you give me some advice, please?

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    • ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Yes Axelote, I’m condescending, but only towards people of your sort.

    Full of myself? LMAOOOOO

    You really haven't got a clue what you're on about.

    You say: "I’ve got my faults, just like everyone else." It’s all well and good saying that, but it’s a different story when you deny them the second someone points them out.

    Well yeah, because the "faults" you’re pinning on me don't actually exist—they’re just your own inventions.

    You say: "You don't need to justify your use of the word breeder; you messed up what you were saying, so there’s no point trying a clumsy U-turn."

    Oh no, darling, I didn’t get it wrong. Everyone here knows exactly what I think of those kinds of breeders. Yes, they’re "breeders" because they’re officially registered, but they aren't breeders in the true sense of the word—they’re just pet dealers.

    Did you know that in cat breeding, it’s actually legal to keep them in cages? Just because it's legal doesn't mean I have any respect for those "breeders"—to me, they’re absolute scum.

    I know you understood me perfectly well, but you’re just playing word games and pretending to be thick. I couldn't care less, though—as long as everyone else got it, that’s what matters :)

    I couldn't care less about your link.

    Everyone here knows what a "thread" is; it’s a discussion, and you can also call it a "post" if you like—take your pick.

    Once again, you’re nitpicking over minor details that have no business being brought up here.

    Your criticism was anything BUT polite and constructive. If it had been, the tone of your message would have been completely different...

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    Célineo
    Célineo Icon representing the flag French
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    Axelote: Pointing out someone’s mistakes on a forum like this is the quickest way to put them on the defensive. The people who spend ages replying, racking their brains to help, and providing information are the same ones who have to face all the mistakes, cruelty, and human stupidity out there. We aren't immune to the distress ourselves... After seeing so many awful things, it’s easy to come across as a bit blunt or aggressive in your replies, and I think Dellys stays remarkably calm. I wish I could do the same... If you want someone to take a look at themselves, you should start by looking in the mirror. You’re just hounding them for no reason...
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Laugh all you like, I couldn't care less.

    Those who've known me well on here for years know I'm telling the truth.

    I'm far too blunt to lie.

    That's the thing about being straight-talking (even if some people don't like that trait) – you tell the truth.

    If you aren't a returning user, then why, THE MOMENT YOU SIGNED UP AS "Mavie", did you block me???????

    It's obviously because you're definitely someone who used to post under a different username.

    As for Leati, clearly you aren't clued up enough to know that faux fur actually exists....

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    I have my flaws, just like everyone else, but when I say something and stand by it, I never lie. (from dellys) LOL!!! When you go around saying that I’m a long-time member (05/11/2012), that I was kicked off Wamiz, that I changed my username (yes, I changed my handle before any of this drama started and kept the same profile picture at the time), and that Karine63 and I are the same person... If you’re not a liar, you’re a total fantasist! Leati, when you’re supposedly against fur but then buy a coat with a fur trim on the hood and start crying about it afterwards, it just proves how stupid you are! It’s the same old story—you should do your research first...
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    I see you for the arrogant, full-of-yourself person you really are.

    As for the people supposedly 'thanking' you (rather than just 'getting in touch' — hello, ego trip?), that’s just your side of the story, just like it's my word when I say I've been reading articles and forums on sites like Wamiz for years.

    Whether you choose to believe me or not, and whether you like being called out or not, is up to you.

    "I have my flaws, just like anyone else." It’s all well and good saying that, but it’s a different story when you deny them the second someone points them out.

    You don't need to justify your use of the word 'breeder'; you messed up what you were saying, and there’s no point trying to pull off some clumsy U-turn now.

    "You’ll notice I didn’t use the term breeder, which is a word for serious people."

    It couldn’t be any more explicit, yet you definitely used it in your first few posts.

    Apparently, you don't even know where the term 'thread' comes from on a forum, and you don't even bother to educate yourself when someone gives you a source to check.

    > Talk about narrow-minded.

    I’m even being nice enough to link the definition of a 'troll' for you: http://suite101.fr/article/quest-ce-quun-troll-sur-internet-a28431#axzz2LYmaASOZ

    You'll notice it's a spot-on description of how you’ve been acting regarding this thread and its derailment.

    When someone gets defensive about one of my opinions, I try a different, constructive approach; I explain my reasoning and back up my points in a calm manner.

    That’s the opposite of being 'two-faced' as you’re implying—something you clearly don't know how to do.

    Yes, my criticism was polite and constructive.

    If you think otherwise, prove me wrong by pulling some quotes from my first post.

    I'm all ears.

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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Axelote, I don't see how the fact that I don't have dogs and therefore breed cats changes anything about what I've said or what I think. Just so you know, the people who sell puppies or kittens at pet shows are "pet dealers"—unscrupulous people you definitely shouldn't be getting young animals from. And I don't understand this sentence: "Maybe to highlight the fact that you didn't understand the OP's distress." It's completely irrelevant and total rubbish!!!!! When I read what you wrote: "Because cats actually prioritise their territory over their owner, unlike dogs who prioritise their owner over their territory. The bond between owner and animal is not the same at all." I just think you've clearly got no idea!!!!! And Célineo is right when she says: "It's even worse than I feared... -_-"
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Axelote, you’re taking me for something I’m not: an idiot. You’re trying to make me believe you’ve been reading for years without ever chipping in. Tell that to someone else, because I’m certainly not buying it... And just so you know, when I say that people from outside this forum contact me privately to ask for advice or to thank me for my posts, it’s the absolute truth. I’ve got my faults, like everyone else, but when I say something and stand by it, I never lie. Now, whether you believe me or not is the least of my worries. Right, since you’re playing dumb, I’ll explain it again: there are different types of breeders – those who actually honour the title and deserve to be called breeders, and those who are nothing more than animal dealers. Does that make sense now? Are you following me a bit better?.... Since you’re still acting like you don't get it, let me repeat: threads go off-topic and that’s normal; I’m the one who derailed it, okay. If you can’t handle how forums work, then stay off them; it’ll save you from getting worked up. You say: "The point of a thread is to follow it, not to derail it." To which I reply: either you’re new to the forum, which would excuse you not knowing how a discussion works, or you’re lying when you say you’ve been reading here for years... You say: "It’s nothing but narrow-mindedness. My way or the highway." What, so when someone has a go at you, you respond nicely? If you say yes, I’m calling you a total phoney. And I’ll say again: I’m polite to people who are courteous, but with people like you, it’s only natural that I don’t bother making the effort. And I don’t see where the hypocrisy is in saying that, as long as the message got through to the people reading this, I couldn't care less if it didn't get through to you or other hypocrites. As for your so-called constructive criticism, it makes me laugh (isn't your head getting a bit big for your hat? lolololololol). As for my ego, I couldn’t care less about it. I know the people who agree with me do so because they mean it and share my opinion – does that ruffle your feathers? You haven’t clocked a thing because you haven’t understood a word. And you see, what I really hate are people who drop a "nice" phrase like: "It’s a real shame, because the core of your fight seemed noble," just so they can spit their venom afterwards. Anyway, don't waste your breath, because I’m never changing my mind or my advice.
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    Célineo
    Célineo Icon representing the flag French
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    It’s even worse than I feared... -_-'

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    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    I think *****’s question, for anyone who can see past the end of their nose, was to highlight the fact that you mainly keep cats, as you pointed out at the start of the thread. Perhaps it was to emphasise the fact that you didn't quite grasp the OP's distress. Because cats definitely prioritise their territory over their owner, unlike dogs who prioritise their owner over their territory. The bond between owner and pet is completely different.
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    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    I’ve been lurking on Wamiz for years, and as you can see, I’ve created an account today specifically to reply to you, so yes, I am one of those "outside observers". Whether people are PM-ing you or not is just your word, but if these people have gone to the trouble of creating an account, I highly doubt they aren't participating in any other discussions. Doesn't that bruise your ego? You make a point of saying we should NEVER mix up different types of "breeders" and then you go and backpedal immediately... Fine example that is. You’ve got a real problem with reading comprehension. If you actually bother to read, the author doesn’t have any issues with the pup’s toilet training; they were talking about how hard it is to listen to the puppy crying while trying to force themselves not to step in. So tell me, what was the point in making a remark about the pup’s toilet needs? You just went charging in and completely missed the mark. There’s a lapse in judgement too; you don’t even realise how patronising your phrasing sounds: "Exactly! It’s like asking a 9-month-old human baby to have full bladder and bowel control!!!!!!!!!" Unless you don’t actually know what punctuation is for? "And I’ll say it again, since you clearly didn't get it: the point of a thread is that it sometimes goes off-topic, and that's normal." The point of a thread is to follow it, not to derail it. Ever heard of Ariadne’s thread? You’ve got nothing to teach me there; your logic is completely flawed. Nowadays, that sort of thing is commonly known as "trolling". "I give advice; if people are nice back, fine. If they get defensive, so do I." That’s just being narrow-minded, nothing more, nothing less. It’s "my way or the highway" with you. "Like it or not, with certain people including you, I won't be sugar-coating anything. I save that for people I actually like." And that narrow-mindedness goes hand-in-hand with your arrogant attitude, as shown above. "As you say @Leati, the main thing is that the message got through to some people ;)" And right there is the perfect proof of your hypocrisy. You talk about getting vital information out to as many people as possible, yet when you're given advice—and apparently several people agree with my constructive criticism—you couldn't care less. In the end, you just ignore it and bask in the comments from people who agree with you, giving your ego a little polish in the process. I think I’ve got you figured out, after all. It’s a shame, really, because your cause seemed noble on the surface. A total sham.
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