My puppy barks and growls at me when I say "no"

Greyfondor
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Hi everyone,

I’ve been having a bit of a problem since I got my 3-month-old Golden Retriever puppy.

He growls and barks at me every time I tell him no. I've read that it could be down to fear, but I don't really think so; it feels more like he’s being "defiant".

Because of this, I’ve been advised to stand my ground so I don't give in to his tantrums.

I’ve also been trying positive reinforcement since I got him (about a month or so ago), but nothing seems to be working at all.

I’ve now been suggested a slightly "firmer" method: basically, you say no once, and if he doesn't listen, I’m supposed to grab him by the scruff of his neck while repeating the word "no".

To be honest, I’m feeling a bit lost with all these different methods. On one hand, I’m scared that positive reinforcement won’t work in the long run and he’ll develop behavioural issues, but on the other, I’m terrified of breaking the bond I have with my puppy by using a more "forceful" approach.

And finally, he has already bitten me quite hard when I’ve told him off, and I really don't know what to do with him anymore...

Thanks in advance for your help.

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14 answers
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    • Kikaah
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    A "no" should always be followed by a "well done" to guide them towards the right behaviour. You need to show them what they should be doing instead; for example, "no, don't chew the sofa" becomes "well done!" when they chew their toy. And you just have to keep repeating it until it finally clicks. Don't be afraid to show them what you expect by staying one step ahead and anticipating their next move. Whatever you do, never pick them up by the scruff of the neck! They might end up biting you just to get away from your grip. Your pup is barely 3 months old, and training takes time. Positive reinforcement takes a bit longer, but if you're too rough, it might be "quicker", but you'll end up with a dog that's terrified of you and might lash out.
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    Lalufine
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    Maybe he’s just playing, and the barking and growling is actually an invitation to play? My big lad does that (even at 10 years old!) when he wants to play with younger dogs. Mind you, I don't know for certain, but it might be an idea worth exploring?

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    Greyfondor
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    For instance, if he nips at my clothes, I give him a firm "NO" (without shouting), but he just growls at me and keeps on biting. I have to pick him up by the scruff of the neck and move him away. Even then, he comes right back at me to have another go; I say no again and His Lordship clearly doesn't like it, so he carries on growling. It’s the same with everything, really. As soon as I tell him "no" for something (like chewing a cushion or swiping a sock), he growls and barks at me. I don't think he’s used to not getting his own way yet, or maybe he picked up some bad habits at the breeder’s...
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    Docline
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    Oh dear, these "methods"...! Too many people lose their common sense over them.

    1. Only expect from a puppy what they are actually capable of at their specific stage of development.

    2. Praise the behaviours you want to encourage AND refuse to accept any behaviour that is unacceptable for their age.

    The word "NO" is a word that can save a dog's life; you shouldn't devalue it or use it for every little thing.

    You haven't given any examples of the situations where you're having to say no.

    Often, the things we forbid are quite unfair considering the dog's age and the circumstances.

    Your goal at this stage = gain their trust while teaching them that if they want attention from humans, they need to keep their excitement in check.

    If they get too worked up, just leave them be.

    If you could give us more details about the behaviours you're unhappy with, it would be much easier to get a proper idea of what's going on.

    Translated from French

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