Bringing home a puppy: a struggle I underestimated

I think some friends of mine used puppy pads, mostly at night so they didn't have to keep getting up. It didn't stop the pup from becoming house-trained quite quickly, mind you, but they did have a garden as well. The accidents were really "only" at night. You’ll just have to see how things go. It's important that you try to de-stress so that your outings aren't such an ordeal. Ideally, they shouldn't be, especially with a little puppy – it’s much better to be fully present and happy rather than just suffering through it.

Do you have to walk along the road for a long time? Is it quite far? You could use the interest she has in her food bowl to get her moving (hide it in a bag if you like). She might follow you more easily if she knows her bowl is in there, and her reward will be getting to eat it once you reach the park.

To get her used to the traffic noise, you could take her out onto the balcony if you have one, or hold her in your arms near an open window when buses go past. Take a few minutes here and there to familiarise her with all the specific sounds she’ll hear on the street outside your home. The first time you feel she’s comfortable with a noise she used to be afraid of, make sure to reward her with plenty of praise and a good fuss.

Thank you so much for your reassuring replies. I think I was at a real low point yesterday! Everyone told me that having a puppy, especially in a flat, would be a nightmare, but I didn't realise just how much. I'm also realising I need to give myself more time and stop putting so much pressure on myself.

Today we went and did something we’d decided not to do with our puppy’s training (oh, the goals we have BEFORE the puppy arrives!): we bought some puppy pads. I know they're not ideal, but honestly, I don't regret it because we’re sooooo much more relaxed now. I’m no longer on high alert for her waking up, scrambling for my trainers, the lead, poo bags, treats, and a toy to encourage her out onto the street. We’re spacing out the walks a bit more, which means the outings we do have are better quality; she's more up for it and we aren't dreading the constant "ordeals." The walks went much better today, so I’m thinking that maybe making them a bit less frequent actually makes them more appealing. Anyway, everyone’s a winner—except for the house training—but I’ve decided to chill out; it’ll take as long as it takes, but as you say, the most important thing is that everyone is enjoying themselves! I still hope she figures out how it works though...

@Hben I live right next to a little park, but the challenge is actually getting there! We have to walk along the pavement right next to the road first. And we're on a bus route with one every 2 or 3 minutes -_- what a mission! But once we’re there, the pressure definitely lifts; she plays, she follows me, and incidentally, she wreaks absolute havoc on the tulip beds 🙄

@Lacurieuse I’m working on it but I’m struggling! She listens to "sit," "heel," and "wait" WHEN we’re in the flat (especially when the food bowl is involved, then I have her undivided attention lol) but outdoors, she just completely ignores me!

Why? Letting a puppy off the lead while they still have that natural "safety bubble" is the best way to build a solid recall. Then you can play hide and seek and so on. Obviously, you need to do all this in a secure area where nothing can go wrong—no cars, no steep drops, etc. And if the pup is a real wanderer and bolts off to explore everything, you start with a long line.

But in this case, it sounds like her dog follows her when he’s off-lead.

Patience. 6, 8, 10 months and then things settle down; that’s just the way it is and it’s something people should say more often. But letting them off the lead? Absolutely not – my dog would have been killed instantly if I’d let him off at that age, even in the middle of the countryside.

Hi there, you've only had your little girl for a week; everything will settle down with time...

Hben has already gone into quite a bit of detail about what needs to be done, so I’m just posting a message of support.

When I first got my dog at ten weeks old, it was exactly the same (it’s much the same for all puppies, give or take a few things)—accidents in the house, and sometimes, just like yours, she’d come back inside and go on the floor because she felt safe there. There was also the nipping at clothes, which I used as a chance for some play fighting; over time, she learnt how to control her bite and to stop when I’d had enough. Whenever I took her into town, she tended to howl (she’s a hound, after all) at anything she found "suspicious" or even "threatening". I had to reassure her and go over to the person or object she was worried about to show her it wasn't dangerous, and so on...

If you stick with it and stay patient, repeating the same actions and commands over and over, it will eventually click for your pup—don't worry. It certainly doesn't happen overnight, though. Some can be a bit more stubborn than others and take a little longer, but honestly, you’ve only had her for a week. You’re only just beginning her training. Keep your chin up, be patient, and everything will turn out fine! :)