Hi everyone!
As some of you know, we’ll soon be welcoming Athos, a Brittany Spaniel puppy, into our home. The wait is getting tough because as of yesterday he’s 2 months old, and my good intentions of leaving him at the breeder’s with the other dogs (indoors) for a better weaning process are starting to waver.
Because of that, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and as usual, I’m driving myself a bit mad. So, here’s the question that’s been niggling at me (I do love that word – or rather, the French version ‘turlupine’ 🤭) today.
I’ve always heard that when a couple gets a dog, one of the two always ends up becoming the main ‘boss’ or the dog’s primary reference person. The dog might obey the other person just fine, but perhaps much less so, or they might look at their ‘main owner’ before obeying the other, and so on.
--> Firstly, is that really always the case? Can both members of a couple be on an equal footing? What is it that makes one the boss and the other not? Is it time spent together? The person who teaches the commands? The one who feeds them? The one with the deepest voice?
At my parents’ house, I always saw this idea confirmed: my dad was clearly the boss you didn’t disobey, but my mum was the one who fed them so the dogs obeyed her too—though sometimes they’d look at my dad first, or sometimes they’d ignore her, acting like ‘Eh? I didn’t hear you...’ for several minutes before finally doing as they were told. And if my dad gave an order and my mum said the opposite, it was my dad’s command that was followed.
--> Next... how do I make sure our puppy sees me as his main reference?
That would suit me for several reasons:
1- It’s a dream of mine to have a dog and to have the closest bond possible with him. My husband has never had a dog and mainly wants one because he likes them and wants to make me happy too, but training clearly doesn’t really interest him. He’s aiming for the kind of relationship I had with my parents’ dogs: play, cuddles, walks, and a bit of basic obedience.
2- The goal eventually is to go out hacking with the dog, so he’ll need to obey me even when I’m perched on my mare. I think we need to create a real bond so the dog doesn’t see my words as ‘secondary’ authority.
3- My husband is a bit of a soft touch and very lenient (at least with the cat). For training, that’s not great. He doesn’t do it when I’m there, but when I go to my parents’ for the weekend, the kitty is basically on holiday XD! He doesn’t keep an eye on things so she climbs everywhere, and he lets her sleep on the bed even though during the week with me she’s not even allowed in the bedroom... I can’t imagine what he’ll be like with the puppy! Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself; he’s promised not to do it with the dog because he saw it didn’t have a great impact on the cat’s personality (she’s a right little pain in the neck), and I believe him.
...(more to follow in the next message)
