I want to get my dog back

?
Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
Report

Hello everyone,

It’s been two weeks since my step-daughter gave her dog—a 7-month-old Malinois—to a friend from her class. She gave him away on impulse after a row with her dad.

She wanted him back the very next day, but he’s refusing to return him. She’s been on the phone and messaging him all week with no luck. Last Saturday, she went to his house to talk to him, but he didn't want to know. She had to report it to the police last week for breach of trust, but the prosecutor didn't take any action and wouldn't give the go-ahead for her to take him back. The dog is still in her name on the microchip database because no transfer of ownership papers were ever signed. This week, after several chats with the registry, she found out that a transfer request had been sent; once she received the document, she saw that it was her friend’s mum who had signed the transfer form.

It clearly states that the registered keeper must sign, not a third party—thankfully!

So, she’s gone back to the police to report them for forgery.

What will happen now? Is she in the right? I reckon she is, as she’s the legal owner of the dog. We’re still waiting for a legal decision.

All she wants is to get her dog back. He’s currently living in an outdoor run with three other big dogs, whereas at home he was safe and sound and totally pampered.

We’re all heartbroken by this separation. She knows she’s made a massive mistake, so there’s no need to give her a hard time about it. But the person who took him is being dishonest and is currently getting away with breaking the law.

Do you have any advice or ideas on how to get justice so the dog can be returned to her?

Thanks everyone.

Translated from French
icon info

The forum content is sometimes translated from another language, and posts may concern countries with different animal laws. Do your research before making any decisions.

Since the forum is translated by AI, the translations may contain errors.

Write your message and upload a photo if you want to! Please remain courteous in your exchanges.

Your post will be visible to all members of the international Wamiz forum.

57 answers
Sort by:
  • Show previous comments
    • B
    Bangdji Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    Personally, I get the feeling the girl wasn't that bothered about her pet, and it was causing friction with her dad because he wanted her to be the one looking after the dog. So she probably knew exactly what she was doing. On one hand, she really didn't want the dog anymore; on the other, she maybe didn't realise how livid her dad would be when she came home without it, since it sounds like he was the one actually doing all the work. It looks like a classic case of a girl begging for a pet on a whim then losing interest, while the dad was trying to teach her some responsibility—"you wanted a pet, so you look after it!" But now he’s been caught completely off guard by how she just got rid of him. And since he was the one looking after the dog instead of his daughter (if I’ve got that right), he’s obviously grown fond of the dog himself. Now, if the school friend only heard one side of the story—from a teenager who's fed up with the dog, doesn't want to take it for walks or look after it, and feels like it's ruining her life because her dad is constantly on at her—and then she’s passed all that on to her own mum, who already has dogs and knows how to look after them properly... well, maybe that's why she's refusing to give him back. Mind you, I’m just speculating. At the end of the day, it’s just a forum and we don’t really know the full story without knowing the people involved. Maybe the dog isn’t better off in a kennel where he never gets out; maybe he’s actually doing great now, getting loads of love and plenty of walks. Even if the girl was being reckless, maybe he was well looked after in his original home (even if it wasn't by her). Who knows?
    Translated from French
    Sky
    sky Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    I agree with the latest posts (except for @Audreylug’s): a puppy isn’t an object or a Pokémon that you can just swap around whenever the mood takes you. That’s what’s getting people’s backs up here; they believe a dog is a sentient living being, not a piece of furniture. Just because there’s no physical violence doesn’t mean there’s no mistreatment, or that the dog won't be left with lasting scars... 😒
    Translated from French
    Sky
    sky Icon representing the flag French
    Report

    No one was judging your daughter-in-law; we were simply pointing out what she did. We needed to know the full background to see if it might lead to a solution...

    ...and despite that—despite that unfortunate move which is at the root of your problem and likely made more than a few people’s hackles rise here—everyone has still tried to help you.

    Because we don’t have to give you a pat on the back or excuse your daughter-in-law’s actions to help you; in fact, we don’t even have to help you at all, you know... 🥷

    Yet we did; we’ve tried to help, each in our own way, offering suggestions and trying to find out more in case it led to other solutions... but helping you while acknowledging what she did aren’t mutually exclusive; we can certainly do both. 🙂

    And as for those who do want to judge you, there’s nothing stopping them either, really (especially on a forum where everyone is free to chime in and give their opinion, provided it’s done respectfully 🙄); and to begin with, no one was doing that—nobody was judging anything.

    (I’ll admit that now, looking at the latest messages, it is starting to happen, but that’s only natural; others have already explained why ^^')

    If you don't like some of the comments, fair enough; that’s to be expected since there’s fault on both sides here and things aren't exactly black and white on your end either (plus we only ever have one side of the story and you haven't answered everything). You might not like hearing it, but if you’re being honest, you can’t really deny it... I get that it’s unpleasant, of course it is, but please don't dismiss the help we've tried to give you amongst all of that.

    If, in the end, you don't want the help so many people here have tried to offer—investing their own time and getting involved in your situation—then that’s entirely your choice, and you can’t really blame them. We can want to help as much as possible, but we can't work miracles either... 😞

    P.S. Yes, I’ve used "we" as a general term, because on the whole, nobody was against you and everyone has tried to help (or at least kept the dog’s best interests in mind), even when you were told otherwise—whether you realised it or not. :P

    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report

    Good evening. To be honest, what shocks me about this whole thing is the "on a whim" part. I’m not sure that if you’re just acting on a whim, you’d think to grab all the dog's papers just to get rid of him; I reckon it was a calculated move at the time, even if she regretted it later. As is often the case at 18, you aren’t sure of anything—where you’re going or where you’ll be tomorrow. In my opinion, the irresponsible thing was putting a dog in the name of an 18-year-old girl, forgetting how fickle you are at that age. We all make a lot of stupid mistakes at 18 (though this one is pretty monumental), but the best thing you can do for her? Don't take the dog back. Let her understand that there are always consequences to your actions and that, unfortunately, Mum and Dad (and step-mum) won't always be there. You’ll be giving her a harsh but useful life lesson, and that’s important right now. It's a fact that you miss the dog and no one can deny that, but things are what they are. It’s a lesson for the whole family.

    +1

    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    @Audreylug Are you joking? Hang on, it wasn’t the OP who gave the dog away, it was her daughter-in-law – and with the papers too! You say you don’t understand the people who think this is animal cruelty, but I don’t understand how anyone can just dump a dog on a whim like that, papers and all.
    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    Evening everyone, To be honest, what really strikes me about this whole story is the "on a whim" part. I’m not sure if you’d actually think to grab all the dog’s paperwork and records if you were just acting on a whim to get rid of it. I think it was more of a conscious decision in the moment that she regretted afterwards. As is often the case when you’re 18, you aren’t sure of anything—where you’re going or where you’ll be tomorrow. In my opinion, the irresponsible part was putting a dog in the name of an 18-year-old and forgetting how unstable that age can be. We all do a lot of stupid things at 18 (though this one is pretty massive), but the best thing you can do for her? Don't take the dog back. She needs to understand that actions always have consequences and that, unfortunately, Mum and Dad (and step-mum) won't always be there to bail her out. You’d be giving her a tough but necessary life lesson, and that’s important these days. I know you miss the dog, that’s a fact and no one can deny it, but it is what it is. It’s a lesson for the whole family.
    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    It was even more calculated than that; before dropping off the dog and its health records, she must have spoken to her school friend, and he would have had to speak to his parents, surely? It didn’t just happen in five minutes; it was clearly well-planned and wasn't just done in a fit of rage. There are plenty of young people on pet forums like this who are even younger, and I have to say, their maturity often surprises and reassures me. You see so many of them trying to save animals, not dumping them over some supposed argument with their dad. I really don't believe that most 18-year-olds are that irresponsible.
    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report

    From what I can see, this person signed on your behalf without your consent, which is definitely illegal.

    I’d suggest you start by reporting them to the police for identity theft for forging your signature.

    Once that’s done, the transfer document shouldn’t be recognised as valid anymore (since it was signed fraudulently).

    This means the dog will officially be yours again and you'll be able to get him back.

    I also really don't understand the people saying your daughter-in-law did something cruel! In my opinion, there’s nothing cruel about it; she gave the dog away on a whim, but she didn't mistreat him!

    If you're up for it and he’s kept outside in a run, you could perhaps just go and take him back. Go to the property, call your dog, and walk away with him.

    And make sure to tell the friend’s mum that you’ll be reporting her for identity theft if she tries to stop you!

    Translated from French
    M
    Mike64 Icon representing the flag French
    Report
    I think everything’s been said, really... beyond the initial anger or rejection when your step-daughter decided to give the puppy away, I’d say her actions were actually quite well-thought-out. You don’t usually find 18-year-olds remembering to grab the dog's ID papers in a moment of frustration. Anyway, at 18, you’re bound to be a bit indecisive about your future... caught up in other perfectly normal interests rather than committing to a puppy and the sheer weight of responsibility that comes with training one. The decision (as we’ve said a thousand times) has to be the parents’... that’s how you avoid this kind of drama. And like @Nordic Attitude, I’d like to hear the other side of the story...
    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
    Report

    It’s not so much a judgment as it is an observation; the facts are right there and giving away a dog in that manner is honestly shocking! To give away your pet at 18 just because you’ve had a row with your dad... well, in my opinion, the dog is better off! If your step-daughter is willing to give up her dog on a whim, what else is she capable of? Sorry, but I have no sympathy for her. The only one I feel for is the dog, and frankly, he’s undoubtedly much better off where he is now.

    If I were the lady who took the dog in and registered him in her name—since he was handed over with all his papers—you’d have no chance of getting him back. Especially since you’re calling her a thief and threatening to sue her. As you can see, even the police won’t get involved, so the courts certainly won’t, as she is legally in the right. What I see is that you are doing a lot to defend your step-daughter’s actions, which are completely irresponsible for someone her age, yet you’re the one judging this woman. She clearly thinks she’s doing the right thing for this dog, and if she made a point of getting him registered in her name quickly, she was absolutely right to do so.

    Ask your step-daughter what excuse she came up with for giving the dog away? If she’s honest, it might actually open your eyes. At 18, you know exactly what you’re saying and doing; if she were 12, I’d excuse it, but frankly, we’re not going to start making excuses for her and feeling sorry for her now.

    You are on a forum for people who love their animals and would do anything for them, so don’t be surprised if you get some replies that you don’t like.

    Translated from French

  • 20 comments out of 57

    See more
    • Do you have a question? An experience to share? Create a post on our forum!
    These topics could be of interest to you!
    Find out more