My partner and I have just adopted a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy. Since he arrived, I’ve been feeling really unwell; I have a constant knot in my stomach, I’m being sick, I’m anxious and crying all the time, and most of all, I just can’t sleep. The problem isn’t the puppy himself. He sleeps through the night without any trouble and has very few accidents in the flat. The issue is really me. Last year, I developed Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) which had stabilised, but since Popeye arrived, my health has been getting worse. I’m terrified I won’t be able to balance my final year at uni with the dog. Luckily, my partner is helping out too, but despite that, I still feel just as bad. I’m already so attached to the little guy, but my mental health is taking a massive hit and I don’t know what to do anymore. Has anyone else been through this?
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It seems that many owners go through this, just like new mums actually—the puppy blues.
The fact that you’re worrying so much proves that, contrary to what you’re saying, you are a good owner. You feel responsible for your little one’s progress, and that’s a brilliant thing too.
As for advice, I’m a first-time owner myself, so plenty of people here will be able to give you much better advice than I can. I’d suggest trying to spend some quality time with your pup—playtime, cuddles, and so on. We’d love to see plenty of photos of the little guy, by the way!
Hi there,
It’s completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed with the arrival of a new puppy, or even just before they get there.
Try not to overthink it; just stick to your usual routine—work on a bit of separation training, a few "sit" commands, and so on. It only takes a few minutes a day. It’s much better to do a little bit well, both for your sake and the pup’s. A little is definitely better than nothing! 😉 And if you’re not up to a proper training session, just some walks where he can play with his mates counts as socialisation, and it gives you a bit of a breather too...
Your partner is there to help as well, so don’t feel guilty if he’s doing a bit more than you at the moment. When I’m under the weather, my partner does all the walks lol—that’s what being a family is all about! It’s about leaning on each other for the good of everyone.
You don’t have to carry the whole load on your own. 😉
We make sure he burns off some energy outdoors beforehand and, of course, we leave him plenty to play with—but only toys that are safe to leave him with unsupervised. He’s also got a puppy Kong. We make sure one of us always pops back at lunchtime so it isn’t too long a stretch for him.
I feel exactly the same way, but the puppy isn’t home with us yet. He arrives in 8 days. I’m torn between excitement and total dread. I haven’t been sleeping well for a while now; I keep waking up in the middle of the night with panic attacks... what if the dog grows up to be aggressive with the kids? What if he develops the same separation anxiety as our other dog, which caused us so much trouble and so many arguments? I really do want this dog, he’s gorgeous and everyone is so excited about him arriving, but I just can't shake this "bad feeling", like something terrible is going to happen. I can’t explain it. I tried talking to my partner about it, but he just says that if I’m having doubts, it must mean I don’t actually want the dog. But I do! It’s just how I’m feeling deep down.
I can’t wait to hold him in my arms. I’m sure I’ll forget all my worries and only focus on the positives once he's here :)
Anyway, I’d never heard of the "puppy blues" before, but I’m reading loads about it now... I’m not crazy, yay! 👌
Lots of people have been through the puppy blues. It can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, but it’s nothing to worry about :) hang in there and don’t feel guilty, there’s really no reason to.
Look, just bear in mind he's only just been separated from his mum and his littermates, so it's only natural that he's crying. How are you teaching him to be on his own? What’s your daily routine? Do you tire him out a bit before leaving him? Do you leave him something to play with while you're away? Basically, how is your puppy’s day structured? And the fact that you’re concerned just shows you aren't a bad owner, so don't beat yourself up about it.
I feel so guilty, I honestly feel like I’ve made a massive mistake getting a dog. We really took our time to think it through before going ahead with the adoption, though. It wasn't just on a whim. Now I’m convinced he’s not going to be happy with us. We filmed him while we were out and he was crying quite a bit; it’s absolutely heartbreaking...
Hi there. I completely understand how you’re feeling. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression myself—it’s been stable for a year now, but there are still some days when things aren’t great.
I went through a period of intense anxiety when Koda first arrived. He was a little star—house-trained, obedient, and affectionate—but I still felt like I was doing everything wrong and that I was a bad owner. Trust me, it’s just your head playing tricks on you. I was exhausted, jittery, and even felt physically sick with nausea and vomiting. I know it’s easier said than done, but I didn't let myself give in. I really had to force myself, if you know what I mean; I made myself look after the puppy and gave it my absolute all, even when it felt like too much. In the end, it passed after about a month.
The problem when you’re anxious is that a puppy can be just as much of an emotional weight as a child. You have to manage your own emotions while looking after theirs... It isn’t easy, but you have your partner there, so don’t hesitate to talk to him about it. Tell him what’s wrong and just let out how you’re feeling. Accept that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Let the emotions out because you’re allowed to have off days, and I’m sure everything will turn out fine.
