Returning my puppy to the breeder. How will it affect him?

S
Sophieetselim Icon representing the flag French
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Hi everyone,

I’m coming here for some help. I got a young puppy, nearly 3 months old, 11 days ago.

I’d done as much research as possible, I’d spoken with dog trainers and we were ready for the adventure. I pictured his arrival as such a happy time for everyone, but things aren’t going well at all right now. I end up in tears every night.

My husband and I both work, and my son, who’s nearly 6, is at school. The breeder assured me that the dog was fine being left alone. Since he arrived, he howls the moment we leave. I went to work with a knot in my stomach for two days, then we bought a camera to reassure ourselves... to see if he was okay after we left... but it’s done more harm than good because he really isn't, and I haven't slept since. I’m so upset. So, that’s problem number one. Problem number two is that even though I was prepared for walks, toilet training and food, I’m forced to admit that I just don’t have the time needed to look after him properly. He’s here now and I feel like I have no choice, but basically, with our lives and our schedules, I’m constantly late for work. When I get home, I have to clean everything up before I can even see to him, and since he’s been alone all day, I focus on him the second I’ve finished cleaning. As a result, my son has been sidelined for the last 10 days... homework is done late, bedtime is pushed back and we’ve forgotten all about bedtime stories. I don't even eat at the table anymore because I’m constantly intervening; he eats everything he finds. Because our house is completely open-plan, we struggle to keep him in one area. We used to have a bedtime routine with my son and my husband, and now it’s one or the other because Harry can’t be left alone downstairs without causing absolute carnage. It’s heartbreaking.

Yesterday, my husband asked me to contact the breeder to see if she would take him back. We haven't decided anything yet, but we want to know if there's a way out if things get even worse. I’m wondering, in that case, what would the consequences be for the puppy? Will he forget us? Will he be able to be happy? I feel terrible for not properly gauging the impact a puppy would have on our lives... yet it wasn’t a whim... I thought I’d planned for everything...

I’d really appreciate your advice...

I’m lost and I feel so miserable for myself... for him... and for my son...

Translated from French
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55 answers
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    • Tania28
    Tania28 Icon representing the flag French
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    Yes, it takes a lot of preparation and you really have to want it; you're spot on, Sully

    Translated from French
    S
    Sully_fr Icon representing the flag French
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    Hi there, this really reminds me of my own "puppy blues". In the end, after putting in a lot of work with my pup—who is 11 months old now—I honestly couldn’t be without her. To be fair, I’d lost my job at the time, so I was able to dedicate all my time to her, building it up by leaving her for 15 minutes, then 30, and so on. However, I know someone who got a Staffie puppy, picked him up on a Friday, and works a busy job in the city; she had a few issues at the start when she left him, but she’s had him for five years now and there aren't any problems at all. A puppy takes time... a lot of time... During my first week with her, I couldn't even eat and I cried all day, if that’s any comfort. All the best. A little hello from Sully, by the way!
    Translated from French
    Tania28
    Tania28 Icon representing the flag French
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    Hi there,

    I’m sincerely sorry for this little dog, I really am.

    I don’t want to sound mean, but I really struggle to understand this kind of situation; it’s so predictable, he’s only a puppy.

    I hope this little furball finds a new home quickly, please act fast.

    Translated from French
    Kikaah
    Kikaah Icon representing the flag French
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    Well... it looks like you didn't do enough research beforehand :/ and the breeder probably just told you exactly what you wanted to hear to get you to buy the puppy. Yes, they can cope with being left on their own, but not for a whole day—and that goes for any dog. If you return him to the breeder, they should be able to find him another home (though don't expect a full refund). That said, if the breeder didn't vet you properly as the first family, will they really find someone better suited next time, or will they just pick the first person who comes along? Yes, the puppy will forget you, but that’s not the end of the world; the main thing is that he’s happy with a family that has more time for him. You could always look into a breed-specific rescue? I’ve had a quick look and found a Cocker Spaniel rescue group on Facebook—maybe they could help you with rehoming him? It’s better to do it now before you get too attached and everyone ends up miserable.
    Translated from French

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