Hi everyone, I’ve just joined this forum because I lost my dog this Saturday, 29/01/22. A little 16-year-old Chihuahua. I loved him more than anything in the world; I had to have him put to sleep, and it was the worst day of my life. Now, I’m not afraid of anything anymore, because after the courage it takes to do that, I honestly wouldn’t care if I died. My pain is immense. He was my little boy and we had such an incredible bond. I’m crying every minute, every second; I can’t accept that he’s no longer by my side, it hurts too much. He’d gone deaf and blind and two of his legs were paralysed. We kept him going regardless; we’d set him up in a little baby playpen and he was doing alright, he was happy enough despite everything. But over the last four days we had to take him to the vet several times; he became paralysed in all four legs this time and he was crying non-stop, day and night. He was suffering because he couldn’t sit up anymore, he was in pain... in the end, we had to make the decision to have him put to sleep. I held him in my arms until his very last breath; I didn’t leave him for a single second during the procedure, even though I felt like I might collapse myself, but I stayed strong for him until the end. I kept him in my arms. I can’t seem to get over the grief; I keep replaying that awful moment in my head over and over, wondering if I made the right choice... I’m just lost. My grief is so heavy, people just don't understand. I talk to him all the time, even though he's gone. 😞
Translated from French
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Hi everyone, I’ve had to have my two babies put to sleep just two months apart. My little Coyote passed away on 31st October 2024 from prostate cancer that had spread, and Bella left us on 5th January '25—she had a problem with her liver. We’ve had to say goodbye to them both. It’s so incredibly hard, I’m crying non-stop because I miss them so much; we absolutely adored them. I’m really in two minds about whether to get another pet?
Hi everyone,
I had my boy Edgar put to sleep on Saturday 15th February. He had a heart condition and had been on medication for years. He’d had a week-long stay at the vets back in October 2024 with a different treatment, and when he came home, he was full of life again. I was so happy to see him his old self, but then his health just declined. He stopped eating and couldn't even stand on his legs anymore; it was heartbreaking to see him like that. We went back to the vets, but there was nothing more they could do, and I had to make the decision to stop his suffering.
It’s been four days now and I feel so guilty for having him put down. There’s such a huge hole in the flat now.
I’ve buried him in my garden because cremation isn't an option here in Martinique, and I couldn't bear the thought of him ending up in a communal pit like a mere piece of meat.
I went to pay my respects at his grave last night and had nightmares all night long. I just can't accept that he's gone!
Hi SAB 1706. I had my French Bulldog put to sleep last Sunday at 1.04 pm; he was 9 years and 4 months old and had prostate cancer. I’m going through exactly the same thing as you right now. It’s an unbearable pain; I’m still constantly talking to him and crying all the time. I feel so much guilt, searching for answers and wondering why. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I completely understand how you're feeling.
I’ve just been through this awful ordeal with my cat Toutouille. His kidneys gave out despite all the treatment; it’s heart-wrenching every single day without him... so Ingrid, I really feel for you and the pain you're in over your pinscher because they are our precious fur babies... they give us their all unconditionally. Thinking of you.
Dear Sab, what a shame about Piotr’s reply! .... Why come to this kind of forum when you have those kinds of feelings?... Comparing suffering... of
I’m not comparing suffering.
I’m simply saying that, having had to have all my dogs put to sleep, I understand that kind of reaction.
Because every single time, it made me feel ill.
Just as I also understand Ingrid’s reaction. At the end of the day, the death of an animal can seem quite insignificant compared to that of a human being. Except that for some people, pets play an absolutely central role in their lives and can sometimes be their only companion.
Illness strikes, whether it’s Covid or something else, and death strikes too. I know that only too well.
I think we need to understand and accept that everyone has a different reaction and, most importantly, that no one way is better than another; there’s no such thing as being "politically correct".
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I really do understand your pain as I felt the exact same way when my little Swingy passed away at the age of 17. He died in my arms at home, but I just knew that day that his time had come.
The pain is so raw, especially when the people around you don't understand. It took me six months before I even started to get back to a "normal life".
That was when I first started thinking about adopting a poor little soul from a rescue centre. Billy has been part of my life for three years now, but he hasn't replaced Swingy. It’s a succession of shared lives, and in no way a replacement. The love is just as huge.
Take the time you need to grieve. When you're ready, you can think about adopting another dog.
I don't think it's something you should rush into (at least that's how I feel); you have to let yourself feel the pain.
"As sad as losing a dog is—and I can promise you I know what I’m talking about, having always had pets—I think a bit of restraint wouldn’t go amiss. It’s as if you’ve forgotten the current situation where every day people are losing friends, family, brothers, husbands, children... and there too, I know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m sorry, but my compassion is for those people. Also for those in this country who aren't allowed to die with dignity. At least we can offer that to our pets when we aren't being selfish. I don't go in for fake empathy. My heart goes out to the children, the men, and the women around us who are struggling in silence, not to live, but to survive. Pull yourselves together! Go and adopt a rescue animal and give them your love in memory of your dog!"
"I don’t want to cause a stir, but let’s keep things in perspective. We are on a forum dedicated to animals. Expressing your pain after the loss of a pet seems entirely justified to me (and having had to have every dog I’ve owned for over 50 years put down, I also know what I’m talking about). Every single time, it completely wrecked me. And you can believe me when I say that people in this country aren't just 'surviving'. I’ve had the opportunity to spend a lot of time in so-called 'developing' countries on many occasions, and I’ve seen what it really means to survive. We have every right to be indignant about certain reactions, but it’s perhaps not necessary to mention it to someone who has simply come here looking for a bit of compassion and support.
I share this point of view.
@Ingrid ch, I’m so sorry for the loss of your relative to COVID.
Given that we are on a forum dedicated to pets, I think it is only natural to express our grief here after they pass away, which can be just as painful, if not more so, than losing a human relative.
@sab, my deepest condolences for your dog. I know how hard it is; I’m sending you lots of strength. Time is a great healer.
I want to offer my sincere empathy, support, and encouragement to everyone on this forum who has just lost their four-legged companion, especially to those who lost them far too soon and so suddenly.
I’m thinking particularly of the owner of a certain Dogue de Bordeaux and the owner of a certain Sloughi.
Dear Sab,
What a shame about Piotr’s reply! Why even join a forum like this if that's how you feel? Comparing one person's pain to another's...
There’s a famous song lyric that says "all the world's misery is nothing compared to a final goodbye..." And when it comes to the pain in our hearts, he was absolutely right.
I went through the same awful heartbreak as you last year, and I’m still not over it either. I’m a bit further along the road than you are now, though, so I wanted to share where I went wrong in the hope that it might help you.
You’re going to go through certain stages:
Stage 1: A lot of crying and over-analysing those final days and hours. It gets to the point where it becomes obsessive and you just find yourself going round and round in circles.
Stage 2: A sort of acceptance of the situation, but there is a constant emptiness and a deep ache in your heart.
Stage 3: Depression (which can be quite severe).
If I can give you one bit of advice, Sab, it’s to take action as soon as you hit Stage 2 so you don't end up reaching Stage 3!
And to avoid getting to that third stage, believe me: get another dog as soon as possible!
A puppy exactly like your little darling, if you feel up to it, since yours was a specific breed. A puppy that you will cherish just like the little one who’s gone—you’ll be taking them in as a tribute to him. It’s a true act of love to have loved a dog so much that you want another one just like them. It doesn't mean you'll forget him; quite the opposite!
I waited too long, unfortunately. I missed the point where I should have stepped in and said "enough is enough!", and I let the grief take over to the point where now it’s almost impossible for me to even think about adopting again right now.
I’m just letting myself suffer and I can't seem to do anything about it, probably because the pain is the only thing I have left of my little girl...
So, please don't do what I did! Open your heart to a new bond as soon as you can. Don’t think for a second that you’re "replacing" your dog; on the contrary, you’re showing just how much you loved him by doing everything you can to feel that love again.
And don't just get one more dog—tell yourself from the start, now that you know the heartbreak of saying goodbye, that you’ll get another, and then another... as many times as it takes whenever they head off to doggy heaven.
Move forward with that mindset, because it’s the only way to survive losing them and to bring happiness to both yourself and a new companion.
Sending you a big hug—you’ll see, you’re going to get through this hell!
As sad as the loss of a dog is—and believe me, I know what I'm talking about as I've always had pets—I think a bit of restraint wouldn't go amiss. It’s as if you’ve forgotten the current state of the world, where every single day people are losing friends, relatives, brothers, husbands, children... and I know what I'm talking about there, too. Sorry, but my compassion is for those people. And also for those who aren't allowed to die with dignity. At least we can offer that to our pets when we aren't being selfish. I’m not one for fake empathy. My empathy goes to the children, men and women around us who are struggling in silence, not just to live but to survive. Get a grip! Go and adopt a rescue and give them your love in memory of your dog!
You say: a bit of restraint wouldn't go amiss??? Sab has lost her little dog and she’s expressing her pain and looking for some compassion here because this is a pet forum, whether you like it or not!
You can give your compassion to whoever you like, but that’s not the topic of conversation here...
And the people who reply to support Sab aren't "faking empathy"—if they were, they’d just keep quiet, which is exactly what you should have done!
I'm properly wound up this morning, I really am! 😠
