I'll never get over losing my dog

Good evening everyone, It’s lovely to read your messages, and I can really relate to what you’re all feeling. To @Pinkybleu, you should lay him to rest under the olive tree, one of his favourite spots; a tree that symbolises Life and Peace. As for everyone else, I’ve felt exactly the same as you. Not a day goes by where I don’t cry for my beloved Frisbee. I’ve made a little memorial for him with a photo and a toy, lit up by an LED candle that comes on at a set time every day. You should give it a try—it really helps. The early days are certainly hard; we go through the different stages of grief before reaching acceptance and resignation. But please know that our fur babies are watching over us. Never hesitate to tell them you love them, or to keep talking to them. When the time is right, you’ll feel at peace knowing they are okay. I’m praying for you all and hope you find the strength you need. Take care

Hi everyone. I really feel for you all losing your little ones—it’s such a deep, gut-wrenching pain. I lost my little Cavalier King Charles last Monday and he was only two years old. The hardest thing is that no vet or top specialist could find out what Ulysse died of. He was such a sweet, loving dog and it’s even tougher not having any answers. I can’t stop crying; he was my absolute everything. I still have his little sister Ursula, but she’s different—not as cuddly, a bit more of a wild child—but I love her to bits. She’ll never replace her brother though and it’s so, so hard. My dogs are my children. I see him everywhere. I hope this feeling passes but I just don't know what to do. Sending strength to everyone else who has lost their pups.

Hi everyone. I really feel for you all on the loss of your fur babies; it truly breaks your heart and is just gut-wrenching. I lost my little Cavalier King Charles last Monday and he was only two years old. The hardest part is that neither the vets nor any of the top specialists could find out what my Ulysse died of. He was such a sweet and loving dog, and not knowing makes it even tougher for me. I can’t stop crying; he was my everything. I still have his little sister Ursula, but she’s different—not as cuddly, a bit more of a wild child—but I love her. She’ll never replace her brother, and it’s so, so hard for me as my dogs are my children. I see him everywhere. I hope the pain passes because I just don’t know what to do. Sending strength to everyone going through the loss of their fur babies.

Hello, your comments are already three years old, so you might not even see this; but please know that what you wrote really touched me. In early June 2013, we got I’Rocco from a German Shepherd breeder. A beautiful long-haired GSD. He was such a tiny puppy, so small. That cow of a breeder, thinking only of her bank balance, completely failed to warn us about the risks of hind leg issues or GDV (bloat). Anyway, when you love them, you don’t care about the cost!! In June 2014, we rescued a female German Shepherd from the clutches of a monster who’d been abusing her (I won’t go into the horrific details about the people who had her before). It was the year for names starting with ‘J’, so we called her Jenna. At home, it was paradise for her!!! Toys, dry food, plenty to drink and... I’Rocco!!! He was so good for her, almost like a therapist. They were inseparable!!! Then that awful day, 11th January 2025, Jenna—who was nearly 11... despite everything we did for her (I noticed about two months before that her back legs were starting to go...). I’Rocco actually outlived her (I thought it’d be the other way round since he’s 11 months older). Nowadays, I’m sleeping with my sweet girl’s urn next to me and trying to manage I’Rocco’s poor back legs. It’s so hard. Like you, I feel like I just want to go and be with her, but I have to keep fighting for I’Rocco. How did you "get over" losing such a beloved dog? Because for me, nearly three months after Jenna passed away... I’m just not coping!! Should I scatter her ashes in the two places she loved most? One was her "lookout spot" where she’d sniff the air and keep watch, and the other was under an olive tree where she loved eating her treats and her dental chews. What would you advise? Because right now... I can’t bear the thought of letting go of my girl’s urn, of my Jenna. At the same time, even though I’m usually quite a down-to-earth person, well... I find myself thinking, three months on... that I should "let her go" by scattering her ashes. I’m so desperate that I even looked at a "pet medium" website to talk to her in the afterlife. I’m sensitive but I’m not stupid, so I shut that scam down immediately (first session free, then they start charging!!). What do you think I should do with my sweet Jenna’s ashes? I’m begging you for help. Best regards, Sandra.

Hi everyone, I’ve been reading your messages from the 19th of March 2025, the day my beloved boy, a Golden Retriever named Frisbee, passed away. He was 15 years and 19 days old. I’ve been absolutely devastated since he left. He had a liver tumour which slowly weakened him. I always thought he’d leave us because of his arthritis. He reached the point where he could no longer get up or walk. So, the only option left was the one I can’t even bring myself to write down. And yet, he still had that beautiful face, and I feel so guilty. I’m in so much pain and I can relate to most of the messages here. It’s left such a void in my home and in my heart; I finally understand what people who have been through this are feeling. But I tell myself he’s with his parents, brothers and sisters, and that he’s waiting for me! I hope I’ll start to feel better soon, as well as everyone else going through this. Best wishes, Sandrine for Frisbee.

Hi everyone, How can I tell if I’m at stage 2 or already at stage 3? It’s been three months since I lost my Juju. I think about him day and night and I miss him so much. 😔

Dear Sab, What a shame about Piotr’s reply! Why even come to this kind of forum if that’s how you feel? Comparing different types of suffering... There’s a line in a song that goes, "all the misery in the world is nothing compared to a final goodbye..." and when it comes to emotional pain, he was absolutely right. I went through the same horrible heartbreak last year, and I'm still not over it either. I have a bit more perspective now than you do, so I wanted to share my mistake with you in case it helps. You’re going to go through certain stages: 1st stage: Lots of crying and over-analysing those final days and hours. It gets to the point where it becomes obsessive and you just keep going round in circles. 2nd stage: A sort of acceptance of the situation, but there's a constant ache and a deep sense of loss in your heart. 3rd stage: Depression (which can be quite severe). If I have one bit of advice for you Sab, it’s to act as soon as you hit the 2nd stage so you don’t end up at the 3rd! And to avoid that 3rd stage, believe me: get another dog as soon as you possibly can! Get a puppy exactly like your little darling, if you feel up to it, since you had a pedigree. A puppy you’ll cherish just as much as the one who’s gone, as a tribute to them (because it’s such an act of love to have loved a dog so much that you want to do it all over again with another one just like them). It doesn’t mean you’ll forget them—far from it! I waited too long, unfortunately... I missed the point where I should have pushed back and said "enough!" and I let the grief take over to such an extent that it’s now almost impossible for me to even think about adopting again right now. I’m just letting myself suffer without being able to do anything about it, probably because the pain is the only thing I have left of my little girl... So, please don’t do what I did! Start a new loving relationship as soon as you can. Don't think of it as "replacing" your dog; you’re actually proving how much you loved them by doing everything you can to experience that love again. And don't just get one more dog—tell yourself from the start, now that you know the pain of losing them, that you’ll get another, and then another... as many times as it takes whenever they head off to the Rainbow Bridge. Try to look at it that way, because it’s the only way to survive losing them and to bring a bit of happiness to both yourself and a new pet. Sending you a big hug—you’ll see, you will make it out of this nightmare!

Dear Sab, Piotr’s reply was so disappointing! Why even come to a forum like this if that’s how you feel? To compare levels of suffering like that... There’s a famous song that says “all the misery in the world is nothing compared to a final goodbye,” and when it comes to the pain of the heart, he was absolutely right. I went through the same awful heartbreak last year, and I’m still struggling to get over it myself. I’ve got a bit more hindsight now than you do, so I wanted to share where I went wrong in case it might help. You’re going to go through certain stages: Stage 1: Lots of crying and over-analysing the final days and hours. It gets to the point where it becomes obsessive and you just find yourself going round in circles constantly. Stage 2: A sort of acceptance of the situation, but there’s a void, a constant ache in your heart. Stage 3: Depression (which can be quite severe). If I have one piece of advice for you, Sab, it’s to take action as soon as you hit Stage 2 so you don’t reach Stage 3! And to stop yourself from getting to Stage 3, believe me: get another dog as soon as possible! Get a puppy exactly like your little darling if you feel up to it, since you had a specific breed. A puppy that you will cherish just like the one who has gone, and one you’ll take in as a tribute to them (because it’s a true act of love to have loved a dog so much that you want to do it all over again with another one). It doesn’t mean you’ll forget your old dog—quite the opposite! I waited too long, unfortunately. I missed the point where I should have taken action and said “enough is enough,” and I let the grief take over to the point where it’s now almost impossible for me to consider adopting again right now. I’m just letting myself suffer without being able to do anything about it, probably because the pain is the only thing I have left of my little girl... So, please don't do what I did! Start a new journey of love as soon as you can. Don’t think of it as “replacing” your dog; on the contrary, you’re proving just how much you loved them by doing everything you can to experience that love again. And don't just get one more dog. Tell yourself from the start—now that you know the pain of seeing them go—that you’ll get another, and another... as many times as it takes, whenever one of them crosses the Rainbow Bridge. Keep that perspective in mind, because it’s the only way to survive losing them and to bring some happiness to everyone involved. Sending you much love, and you’ll see, you will make it out of this nightmare!