My puppy becomes unmanageable in the evenings, any advice?

OK.

Sorry to jump in, but on a day like this, how many times and for how long has she been out for walks? It sounds to me like she's really looking to let off some steam / play / interact with you. Does she get to play with other dogs every day? Does she get that kind of "rough and tumble" play with them that she’s clearly trying to get from you instead?

I totally get that after a long day at work, you'd rather just settle down for a quiet evening than be chewed on by a puppy who wants a "play-fight"... but she seems to be demanding a lot of attention.

You just need to reach a better understanding and balance your expectations of each other. She needs to learn that while play is fine, you aren't another dog and she needs to go steady... and you need to understand that at her age, a dog needs to play and burn off energy, sometimes in a slightly rough way. (That's why I'm asking if she gets to play properly with other dogs every day).

By denying her those moments where she’s bursting to see you for a bit of a "doggy wrestle", I think you're only making her more frustrated.

Ideally, instead of disappearing (which just delays the excitement until later), you need to make her understand that playing is allowed, but only on certain terms. From what you’ve described, I get the feeling that the more cross you get and the more you shout, the more she charges at you. In a way, it excites her; she thinks it's a game. Just like a puppy will bark when inviting you to play or during a play-fight, she might be seeing your reactions as encouragement.

You need to find that "click" in your communication so she learns to understand your boundaries.

With Ookipa, what worked for me was intentionally working on "boisterous play" sessions. I’d have treats in my pockets and play in a really hyper, silly way (proper rough play, obviously you can't be timid about it), and as soon as I felt he was going too far (or hurting me, which happened a lot), I’d give a loud shout and tell him to "stop". He usually freezes out of surprise, and then I give him a treat to reinforce that "statue" mode and ask for a "sit" to settle him down. If he stays calm, the rough play starts again. I do this about 10 times... usually, he’s the one who ends up getting bored.

It’s a bit like a game of "Statues", except instead of moving forward, we're letting off steam.

At the start, it was a real struggle, but now when I say "STOP" during our game, he freezes and obeys my "sit" command.

Maybe this could help?

She starts the walk on a long lead, simply because we have to walk along the road for a bit and I feel safer that way. Once we’re on the little footpaths she goes off-lead, and I try to let her walk without it as much as possible as it’s much better for both of us.

Unfortunately, walks and socialising with other dogs is a bit tricky. There aren't any parks near us and whenever we come across another owner, they seem quite hesitant or their dog isn't very dog-friendly... So it’s rare to bump into owners who are happy for them to meet. It’s a shame because she’s really keen to say hello.

I’m going to try what you’ve suggested tonight. Thanks again! ☺

No worries! I totally get your frustration.

The type of walk you go on makes a big difference too. If we only walk him on the lead, then the evening is a total nightmare; safe to say we’ve stopped doing those kinds of walks. We always make sure he can have some off-lead time, and it also allows us to work on his natural following and recall.

Our quietest evenings? They're the ones where we’ve managed a walk with other dogs, or let him play with another dog in a garden or park for at least 30 minutes. When we get home, he’s a bit of a handful for 30 minutes (which we manage as I mentioned above) and then he’s out like a light!! Having doggy mates is really tiring for them and it's brilliant for socialisation, so if you get the chance, definitely go for it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your story... It feels so good to feel understood 🙃

It really is so frustrating. I get up at 6 am and have an hour and 45 minutes before I head off to work, and I only take half an hour for myself so I can spend the rest of the time with Rhéa (walk, breakfast, playtime, and cuddles).

In the evening, it’s the same again—ten minutes after getting back, I’m out for a 45–50 minute walk with her. I’d love to just sit down, maybe even with her for a big cuddle... but it’s impossible because she’s such a nightmare. It breaks my heart because I try my absolute best to be there for her whenever I have a spare moment, and yet I feel like I’m not doing enough for her, which really upsets me... plus, to be honest, there are times when I’m at the end of my tether (I’ve even slammed the door to lock myself away and have a cry).

Anyway, I’m going to try and take a leaf out of your book with your "ritual" and see if it calms her down a bit. I don’t mind her having her "mad half-hour", but the constant nipping and attacking my feet etc... I’m not so fond of that.

Thank you so much for your reply, it really means a lot!!!

Hi!

I’m going through the exact same thing with Athos, who’s 6 months old. It’s incredibly frustrating because, like you said, after a day at work, the commute... you still put in the effort and take the dog out for his own good, so once you’re back home it’s really hard on the nerves to see that he just won't settle at all. I can tell you I’ve been close to losing my rag a few times—that feeling that despite everything you do, it’s still not enough, it’s just awful!

Athos still has his "mad half-hour", and on bad days (like yesterday) he can be a real pain for way longer than 90 minutes—sometimes until I go to bed around 11:30 pm! Thankfully, that’s quite rare.

To keep him under control and stop ourselves from getting wound up every night, here’s what we do:

- A 30 to 60-minute off-lead walk when I get home.

- 10 minutes of playing on the floor—tug-of-war, fetch (whatever he’s in the mood for)—when my husband gets in.

- A long-lasting chew (like a hoof, or his evening favourite: strips of beef scalp with salmon oil—it’s great for his teeth). That keeps him busy for at least 30 minutes and helps the excitement levels drop a bit. It gives me a chance to sit down or cook in peace.

- 5 minutes of obedience training using his dry food as treats.

- Evening meal with the rest of his daily food allowance.

After that, my husband and I eat and try to relax a bit. We don't really want to play at that time of night, so we ignore him or tell him "no" if he keeps pestering us. He’s starting to get it and plays on his own with his toys more often, but he still has moments where he won't have it. As soon as he gets too worked up or starts acting out, we take him and put him in a separate room (the bathroom, where he can't do any damage) for 5 to 10 minutes until he’s calmed down.

Nowadays, he might go the whole evening without needing a time-out, or maybe just once or twice. At the start, we were back and forth to the bathroom more than five times an evening! But he eventually understood that when we say "no" and he carries on, all he gets is being left on his own.

When he’s really unbearable and I’m fed up with the trips to the bathroom, my secret weapon is a pizzle stick. It can keep him occupied for hours—one stick can last him two whole evenings. Obviously, I don't give him one every night; it's my last resort for when I’m absolutely knackered and my patience is wearing thin!

Anyway, I hope that helps! I’m not saying it’s the perfect solution, but it’s what I’ve found works for me ^^