My dog killed my kitten

M
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Hello,

I’m absolutely devastated. My one-year-old Border Collie has just killed my three-month-old kitten.

We had followed the trainer’s instructions to the letter: first scent swapping with items they'd both touched, then introductions through a baby gate, and finally meeting face-to-face.

It all went so well; the kitten and the dog were even "buddies", and there hadn't been a single issue for three weeks.

Then yesterday, tragedy struck. It all happened so fast; the kitten was exploring the living room as usual, and the dog was lying on the floor. I was busy with some paperwork, and a momentary lapse in concentration meant the kitten got too close to the dog’s toy, and he bit him. The kitten was dazed, and I rushed him straight to the out-of-hours vet. The duty vet gave him a steroid jab and said all we could do was wait, and that the next 48 hours would be critical.

Sadly, this morning, the kitten took a turn for the worse. On the way to the vet, he had a seizure in the car and passed away. According to the vet, his brain had been affected and he’d suffered internal bleeding.

I feel dreadfully guilty; I’ve been crying all day and I’m unable to do anything else. I didn't see it coming at all, and yet this isn't my first dog. I know about their prey drive, but everything was going so well that I just stopped being vigilant. I’m so distraught that I haven’t been able to eat anything today and I’m having dark thoughts. I don’t deserve to have pets.

I can’t even look at my dog anymore. Of course, I know it’s all my fault and that he just had a predatory reflex, protecting his property, but when I see his face, I can’t help but think of my poor kitten. We’d been fighting for a month to save him from cat flu, and he was only just starting to recover. He was so full of life. And because of one stupid accident, I’ve ruined everything. I’ll never be able to forgive myself, and just looking at my dog reminds me of the horror of what happened.

We have two other cats, and there’s never been an issue with them.

I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to react to all this? How can I keep living with my dog when I see a monster every time I look at him?

I don't want to rehome him—that would finish me off. But I also have to think about my other two cats, to make sure this tragedy doesn't happen again.

Sorry for this desperate post; I’m really at rock bottom...

Translated from French
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17 answers
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    • B
    Bangdji Icon representing the flag French
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    Generally speaking, I've often noticed that dogs can be much harsher with kittens when putting them in their place than they are with adult cats. What has happened to you is absolutely horrific. I completely understand why you can’t even bear the sight of your dog right now, and why you’re so devastated. But it was just a momentary lapse in concentration... and in my opinion, your dog didn’t mean to cause any harm. She was simply reacting to a bout of resource guarding. Everything happened so quickly, how could you have possibly intervened? You did everything you could afterwards... It’s easy to say, but I think you’re going to feel terrible for a while... But please don’t lose heart in your dog, and don’t lose heart in yourself; there wasn’t much more you could have done given how fast it all happened 😥 Unfortunately, that’s why they’re called accidents—because you don’t see them coming until the tragedy has already unfolded... You said yourself that you always kept an eye on your kitten and your dog. It only takes one split second of inattention 😥 It’s all over so quickly. I am so sorry for your loss. But for me, this was a twofold accident: a momentary lapse in supervision and your dog simply not knowing her own strength.
    Translated from French
    B
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    Hi there, I only see this as a very tragic accident. I completely agree with kikaah. To me, there was no predatory drive involved at all; it was purely resource guarding. The dog didn't know his own strength. Did he intend to kill? Probably not, otherwise it would have been over instantly. He likely just wanted to warn and scare the cat off, but didn't control his power or exactly where he caught them. I don't think your other cats are in danger, though there is clearly a major issue with extreme resource guarding... My mum used to have a German Shepherd. A stray cat had kittens nearby, and as they grew, they started exploring the house. The Shepherd was used to them. One of the kittens approached him while he was eating; he didn't even growl, he just lunged and snapped its neck in one go. Now *that* was a dog that meant to kill... When my dog was a puppy, she used to play with my (adult) cats. She absolutely loves her cats, and the kitties love her back. But she was a bit of a brute, "playing at hunting". I’m certain she could have killed one of my cats without even realising it. She would have been so confused to see her friend not moving anymore—she wouldn’t have even understood she was the cause... She really does love her cats; she sleeps with them and everything. I’ve just had to supervise her and keep her in check. It would have been an accident if my dog had hurt or killed one of my cats... completely unintentional.
    Translated from French
    Docline
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    It was a split-second reflex.

    Anyone can have a reflex action that goes wrong; it's just one of those unfortunate accidents.

    There’s no point looking at your dog like he’s a criminal or even worrying that it’ll happen again with your adult cats.

    However, I do think working on resource guarding should be top of the agenda.

    You need to get to the point where any sudden move to protect his stuff becomes a complete no-go.

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    I am so sorry to hear about your kitten.

    I don’t think you should blame yourself, and certainly don’t beat yourself up over it. It was a tragic accident; it’s impossible to foresee everything or keep your eyes on them every single second of the day. What happened is not your fault.

    However, there is one piece of advice I completely disagree with: shunning your dog!

    NO! As far as he’s concerned, it’s in the past; he might not even remember it and, as @Kikaah mentioned, he might not have even intended to kill it!

    He wouldn't be able to make the link between what he did yesterday and you punishing him by ignoring him today!

    Giving him the cold shoulder would, in my opinion, just be seen as unprovoked aggression on your part.

    So NO! Don’t ignore him. Look after your dog as you normally would: feed him, play with him, take him for walks...

    If you’ve even stopped feeding him, that’s moving into the territory of outright animal cruelty!

    Translated from French
    Kikaah
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    If the toy was the trigger, it’s a safe bet your dog was resource guarding.

    Your dog probably didn’t mean to kill the kitten, but a misplaced snap was, sadly, fatal. It was an accident.

    I don’t think getting them neutered will solve the issue – what exactly would it be calming them down from?

    Translated from French
    M
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    Thanks for your reply and for being so reassuring, Jade.

    I actually got in touch with a behaviourist this afternoon to book an appointment. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure this never happens again.

    My dad was also in the room when it happened. He had the right instinct to give the dog a telling off and threw his toy in the bin. I was in two minds about going to get it back for him afterwards, but not only would it bring back bad memories, you’ve also made me realise that he definitely shouldn't have it back.

    I’ll take your advice and keep the dog and the cats separate at all times.

    Unfortunately, our dog is a rescue (in his previous home, he spent four months locked in one room and wasn't even let out to go to the toilet), so he doesn't cope well with being shut inside. Because of that, he spends a lot of time outdoors with our farm animals.

    I’m also not sure if it would help with his dominant behaviour, but we are thinking about having him neutered. Even though the vet thinks it’s unnecessary, our trainer reckons it might help to "calm" him down.

    Thanks again for all your support,

    Marie

    Translated from French
    Isis_malinoise
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    Hello, First of all, I want to reassure you that none of this is your fault. Dogs can be unpredictable, especially a breed with such a strong prey drive like a Border Collie. My first piece of advice is to make sure you never leave your dog alone with your cats, just in case something tragic happens again. Secondly, you should give your dog the cold shoulder, and thirdly, get him to see a dog behaviourist, a trainer, and perhaps a vet as soon as possible. It’s possible he’s in pain, which could explain his behaviour. Did your dog give any warning before the attack? Did he growl? If he didn't give any warning, there's an even higher chance that your dog is suffering physically. I think this attack was likely due to jealousy; in the dog's mind, the kitten was trying to take over the shared living space and went one step too far by going near the dog’s toy. Also, take that toy away from him immediately! I suspect that because you were in shock, you didn't tell him off, so he probably thinks that because he managed to get rid of this "nuisance" from his territory and wasn't scolded, he’s earned some kind of "pack leader" status... He’s laid down his own law. Please, call a behaviourist because this is urgent. Keep him separate for now, partly to protect him, but mostly to protect yourself and your cats. I really hope you can move past this, but it’s a fight you owe to your little kitten. Hope this helps, Jade. PS: if you need any support, the community here is always here for you 😞
    Translated from French

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