Hello,
I’m absolutely devastated. My one-year-old Border Collie has just killed my three-month-old kitten.
We had followed the trainer’s instructions to the letter: first scent swapping with items they'd both touched, then introductions through a baby gate, and finally meeting face-to-face.
It all went so well; the kitten and the dog were even "buddies", and there hadn't been a single issue for three weeks.
Then yesterday, tragedy struck. It all happened so fast; the kitten was exploring the living room as usual, and the dog was lying on the floor. I was busy with some paperwork, and a momentary lapse in concentration meant the kitten got too close to the dog’s toy, and he bit him. The kitten was dazed, and I rushed him straight to the out-of-hours vet. The duty vet gave him a steroid jab and said all we could do was wait, and that the next 48 hours would be critical.
Sadly, this morning, the kitten took a turn for the worse. On the way to the vet, he had a seizure in the car and passed away. According to the vet, his brain had been affected and he’d suffered internal bleeding.
I feel dreadfully guilty; I’ve been crying all day and I’m unable to do anything else. I didn't see it coming at all, and yet this isn't my first dog. I know about their prey drive, but everything was going so well that I just stopped being vigilant. I’m so distraught that I haven’t been able to eat anything today and I’m having dark thoughts. I don’t deserve to have pets.
I can’t even look at my dog anymore. Of course, I know it’s all my fault and that he just had a predatory reflex, protecting his property, but when I see his face, I can’t help but think of my poor kitten. We’d been fighting for a month to save him from cat flu, and he was only just starting to recover. He was so full of life. And because of one stupid accident, I’ve ruined everything. I’ll never be able to forgive myself, and just looking at my dog reminds me of the horror of what happened.
We have two other cats, and there’s never been an issue with them.
I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to react to all this? How can I keep living with my dog when I see a monster every time I look at him?
I don't want to rehome him—that would finish me off. But I also have to think about my other two cats, to make sure this tragedy doesn't happen again.
Sorry for this desperate post; I’m really at rock bottom...