My puppy attacks me when I scold her

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Hi everyone, so I got a Belgian Malinois puppy a week ago. But when she starts chewing the sofa or taking things she shouldn't... I tell her off, then she growls at me and lunges. But if I just leave her to it, she destroys everything.

I've tried scruffing her, giving her a bit of a shake, or even putting my hand in her mouth, but nothing works—she's back at it again two seconds later.

Also, she eats her own poo in the morning and evening; I'm guessing she must be hungry, but I'm giving her the amount of dry food recommended on the bag (56g across 3 meals). The brand of kibble is a natural, grain-free one.

I would also like to know when the puppy nipping phase usually ends?

Thanks for any advice, she's lovely otherwise.

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  • Energiesolaire
    Energiesolaire Icon representing the flag French
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    Actually, I think "kindness" comes from two concepts that can either work together or cause a bit of an "inner struggle": personality and upbringing—basically nature versus nurture. If someone is naturally empathetic towards others, including animals, then instinctively they’ll try not to hurt a puppy. Even if they don't know exactly what they're doing, they’ll be careful by default, treating it as if it were a precious, irreplaceable piece of crystal that mustn’t be damaged or broken. But if their empathy isn't quite as broad (I'm not sure if that's the best way to word it), then that’s where upbringing takes over: parents explaining that a puppy is a living thing, that you shouldn't play football using it as the ball, and so on.
    You've put that really well, and it's actually backed up in this video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of6znVOEvZU

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    Energiesolaire
    Energiesolaire Icon representing the flag French
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    But I’d love you to say a bit more about this paper, I’m really intrigued and interested. 😌

    Ah, you’ll have to wait for you-know-what :)

    (It’s coming along, but yeah, this paper is mental. It doesn't mention dogs at all; using it as an analogy was almost a coincidence. But it’s a total bombshell of a paper that changed everything).

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     Sky
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    I’d love to hear more about that paper, I’m really intrigued and interested. 😌

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     Sky
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    Actually, I think "kindness" comes from two concepts that either work together or cause a bit of an "inner battle": personality and upbringing—nature versus nurture, basically.

    If someone has a natural sense of empathy for others, including animals, they’ll instinctively try not to hurt a puppy. Even if they don’t know exactly how to handle one, they’ll be careful by default; they’ll treat it like a piece of irreplaceable, precious crystal that mustn't be damaged or broken.

    But if their empathy doesn’t stretch that far (not sure if that’s the best way to put it), then that’s where upbringing takes over: parents explaining that a puppy is a living being, that you shouldn't play football with it as the ball, and so on.

    So, someone with empathy plus a "caring" upbringing would never dream of shaking an eight-week-old puppy. At worst, if they don’t know what to do, they’ll ring their parents, a vet, or the breeder, or even lock themselves in the bathroom for a cry while they pull themselves together 🙄—but they’d never shake it or shove their hand in its mouth like that.

    On the flip side, someone with neither empathy nor a decent upbringing won’t just do that, they’ll potentially do much worse—and potentially not just to their puppy, but to animals in general, partners, children...

    That’s where upbringing is so vital, to make up for any gaps in natural kindness: nurture completes or helps nature...

    It’s just an idea I haven’t really had the chance to flesh out yet. 😳

    And it’s what Sarada and what she’s saying make me think of: even if she lacks knowledge about dogs, my gut feeling is that she’s also lacking in empathy and a proper upbringing... 😔

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    Energiesolaire
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    For me, it’s not about whether it’s your 1st dog or your 20th: if it was the first puppy, kitten, or some creature I didn’t even know existed that I’d ever seen in my life, regardless of my age or what I knew about animals, I would never in my life have acted like that: shaking it?! Sticking your hand in its mouth?! 😲 I’d have been far too scared of hurting it, or even causing some irreversible injury! If I’d touched it at all, I would have been incredibly careful. And we’re not even talking about the bond between you... 😒 No, at that point, it’s either down to how you were brought up or your personality (or both), but it's not just a lack of dog knowledge... 😠 At least, "not only" that. 🙅 So, from your point of view, kindness is an intuitive phenomenon first, and rational second :) I’m referring here to a major paper that confirms how you feel, which is very aptly titled "The Emotional Dog and its Rational Tail".
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    Gigi397
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    Hellooooo Skyyyyyyyyyyy, I really get the impression it’s like she’s been handed a computer and doesn’t even know how to switch it on. One thing’s for sure, they haven’t clicked at all.

    Not even the simplest bit of rapport, and since they’re both being so defensive, it’s not going to change any time soon. Sarada needs to build some kind of bond with the pup first, and then he’ll start listening to her.

    They both seem as stubborn as each other and are digging their heels in. Let’s hope a good dog behaviourist can untangle this mess. Have a lovely day, lovely Sky and adorable Gandy, and sending sunny kisses from Brussels.

    BIG KISSES from the 6 of us and a SLURP for Gandy. gigi

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     Sky
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    To me, this isn't a question of it being your 1st dog or your 20th: even if it were the first puppy, kitten, or some animal I didn't even know existed, no matter my age or what I knew about animals, I would never have behaved like that in my life: shaking him?! Shoving a hand in his mouth?! 😲

    I’d have been far too scared of hurting him, or even causing permanent injury! If I’d touched him at all, I would have been incredibly gentle.

    And that’s not even mentioning the relationship side of things... 😒

    No, at that point, it’s either down to your upbringing or your personality (one doesn't rule out the other), but it's definitely not just a lack of dog knowledge... 😠

    Certainly "not only" that, anyway. 🙅

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    Gigi397
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    Thanks Julie, I’ve only got the one dog, Champagne, a Maltese; then there’s Fadiese, a dwarf angora rabbit; Machou and Pichou, the chinchillas; and Mr Poisson, an 11-year-old goldfish. I’d love to get another little dog, but I’m waiting for the warmer weather, we’ll see!!!! It’s so frustrating – Sarada, who’s apparently never had a dog before, has ended up with a Malinois puppy as her first dog. It’s not easy, especially if she hasn’t done her research on the breed. Picking him up by the scruff of the neck and shaking him?????????????????? That’s just appalling!!! How awful. In my opinion, she hasn’t even taken him to the vet yet. Personally, that’s the first thing I do when I get a dog, to check their general health and get some proper advice. Finding a good vet is a total nightmare as it is. Mine is the one where my daughter did her work experience; she loved it because he taught her so much. And on top of that, this puppy is eating other animals' poo – if he doesn’t catch anything, he’ll be very lucky. You shouldn't be walking a puppy that hasn't had all its jabs in a place where there's that sort of thing. That’s just my opinion anyway. Big hugs to Julie-Cocker and Tania, and a big SLURP to your four-legged and two-legged ones from the six of us. gigi
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    Julie-Cocker
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    Hi Gigi, yes, I'm doing really well, how about you and your pups? The main thing is that the dogs are being fed properly, and that’s even more true when they’re still tiny. I hope she comes back and gives us a bit more detail because we’re just speculating at the moment. I really hope he’s in the best of health.
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    Gigi397
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    Sending lots of love Tania, @Julie-Cocker, We don’t even know if this little one is getting enough calcium in his meals or everything else he needs to grow up properly. I’m not a fan of the scales myself, but I’m forced to weigh myself once a month. So, I weigh Champagne and Fadiese as well and keep a weight chart for them, now that they’re adults. It can always come in handy. How are you girls doing? See you later! xx
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