Our puppy is now 3 1/2 months old and for the last few days, he’s been getting really worked up every evening and struggling to settle down. Every morning and late afternoon, we take him for a 20–30 minute walk, both on and off-lead, with a few training exercises too. At lunchtime, we often have several short play and training sessions. We try to keep things as varied as possible.
But when evening comes, he starts growling loudly and either grabs a toy that he 'attacks', or he goes for his tail or a paw and gets agitated very quickly. This often ends in an excitement pee, lots of panting, and general restlessness...
Sometimes we manage to calm him down, either by taking him outside to break the cycle of over-excitement, or by giving him a buffalo skin chew to gnaw on, but occasionally the madness starts all over again 10 minutes later.
I completely understand that he’s a puppy and needs to play and let off steam... but it’s this state of intense over-excitement that’s bothering me, and it seems to be escalating more and more.
I’ve read in several articles not to play ball with puppies because it winds them up more than anything else. Fair enough, but do you have any games to suggest? We do our best to let him burn off energy, whether on walks or during play, without letting the pressure build too much. I’m open to any advice on how to get back to a bit of peace and quiet!
I must admit, I’m feeling a bit lost...
Thanks!
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The challenge was getting him to stay put for longer and longer, but he actually picked it up quite quickly in the end. Once he understood "stay", I stopped putting treats on the floor (I used to alternate these with a toy and I’d release him by telling him to "go find it" – a command he already knew – just to let him burn off a bit of energy). Then I moved on to using a moving treat or toy, and then walking slowly around him while still saying "stay" (he’s tempted to follow me so he doesn't lose sight of me, so that really steps things up a notch). I’d reward him with a pat or a treat, and gradually I started moving further away and for longer periods. Now, I even hide for a split second (going round a tree, for instance). He loses sight of me, but I keep talking to him.
For me, that command isn't for stopping a game.
For that, I’ve recently started introducing the "calm" command (with a hand signal too) and I’m doing what I mentioned in my other post: getting him really excited through play, and then teaching him a word that means "chill out": "calm". It’s working well so far because he’s very playful and gets wound up almost on cue if you put the energy in, so then I just have to teach him that "calm" means time to settle down ^^.
To answer your question, I’m not entirely sure what to suggest as I’m not 100% clear on what you’re doing with him. It sounds like two commands that might mean roughly the same thing to a dog. If you’re working on both at the same time rather than waiting for him to master "stop" before moving on to another one, I reckon he might get a bit confused?
Are you asking him to wait when nothing is actually happening? As in, you throw a toy, call your dog, and then tell him to wait?
If that’s the case, I’d probably do it this way (sticking with the thrown toy idea): I get his attention by calling him, wait until he’s focused on me, ask him to "wait", then throw the toy while repeating "wait" at the same time (holding him back a little if I have to). If he reacts differently than usual (if he doesn't just bolt for the toy, for example), it shows he’s understood. I’ll give it a few seconds, praise him, and then with enough time and repetition, he’ll definitely get it (might be hard to master completely, but at least he'll have the gist).
Yes, it’s a long road! I don’t know about you, but at the start, I thought I’d just teach him three or five commands at most, but actually, there are so many more that come in handy in all sorts of situations.
Plus, mine seems to really enjoy himself when he’s learning something new (as long as it’s not for too long), so it’s like a game for him too – it’s a win-win.
Do you really think these evening antics are just down to excess energy? I'm not so sure, though I could be wrong.
Someone who has trouble settling generally struggles with it all day long, don't you think? (If we can compare it to us humans for a moment).
When it only happens in the evening (and especially at the same sort of time), always in the same way, and only recently—especially for a little one who gets plenty of exercise during the day—I’d be much more inclined to think it's something else. It feels more like a sign of stress, over-excitement, frustration, or even a bit of anxiety, rather than just having too much physical energy and not knowing what to do with it.
Sure, he’s getting worked up, but many of us do the same when we’re stressed or annoyed.
Fidgeting about and acting up can mean all sorts of things.
That’s just my take, anyway. I think it’s really important to understand why he’s reacting like this so you can give him the right kind of support.
Are you teaching him 'stop' to try and settle him during play, or is it for when play needs to end?
As I mentioned before, I don't quite understand why you're trying to 'control' or 'contain' him in that way.
With my dog, 'stop' means to stop dead in his tracks. The whole point is to be able to freeze him at a distance if there’s a problem, and I make sure he doesn't think it’s a game. We mainly practice it when cyclists or joggers (who he’s tempted to chase) go past us.
I don’t know if you’re using 'stop' as a catch-all command for emergency situations as well as for ending a game? If so, I’m not sure he’ll get it. I think you need two different commands.
I also work on 'stay' with my dog. For me, that covers a lot of things—waiting a moment or even staying put for a while. It’s not something I demand of him constantly, but we do work on it for a few minutes at a time. To start with, I’d put a treat on the floor which he obviously tried to grab; I told him 'stay' in a tone that I think helped him understand, as he caught on really quickly. I think I had to physically restrain him a little the first two or three times...
We’ve started working on "stop" and "wait". At the moment, we only do it for three or four throws, then for the rest of the game I let him do his own thing so he can still blow off steam. The aim isn't to turn him into a couch potato, just to manage that excess energy a bit.
However, I don’t stop the game for as long as you guys suggest... I just wait until he takes his focus or his eyes off the toy and then I throw it again calmly, call him back, take the toy, "wait", he disengages, I throw again... what do you lot think?
I’m also trying to use the "wait" command for a few seconds during our walks (a minute is already a long time for him). Getting him to sit by my feet and wait for the command to move off again. I reckon that’ll come in handy in all sorts of situations.
It’s a long road ahead and we’ve still got plenty to learn... 👋
The more exercise he gets, the quicker he’ll settle down (hopefully).
If that works, I’d gradually shorten the play sessions to leave him on his own for longer to manage things himself, like I said in my last post. It’s about him learning to trust himself a bit more, too (assuming these bursts of over-excitement you’re describing are a sign of some unease, even if it's perfectly normal—I think we all go through periods of discomfort, worry, doubt, and anxiety, especially when we’re growing up, and dogs are surely no different).
In that case (with shorter play sessions), you might need to add an extra session during the day if necessary. See how it goes based on his needs and how he reacts.
Also, try not to get too worked up as the time approaches or get too stressed (I’m not sure if that’s the case, but you mentioned you ‘dread’ those moments). He might be picking up on it, which could be feeding the ‘problem’.
Maybe you should try teaching him how to settle or relax 'on command'? You can use those moments during the day when he gets a bit hyper while you're playing together (even if it's not quite the same vibe as in the evening, I don't think that matters). Try stopping the game earlier than usual using a specific cue word and a tone of voice that lets him know you're taking a break or stopping.
I'm not sure dogs really have a concept of duration, so the main thing is that he understands the activity has to stop and that YOU are the one in charge of that.
For a bit, just 'ignore him', then go back to him once he's calmed down a bit (wait at least 3 minutes, even if he settles really quickly; you still need to make the break clear). You could leave the room, or at first, don't leave him alone for too long—just pop in and out of the room a couple of times, acting calm, to reinforce the message "I’m just doing my own thing, you do the same, keep it chill like me." Then, when you go back to him, give him a bit of gentle praise if he's calmed down, play again for a bit, let the excitement build up again (don't go overboard), and then repeat step two, then step one again. Do this two or three times over a 15 to 20-minute session so that eventually, he starts to notice and understand the difference between play/excitement vs taking a break and settling down.
I hope that makes sense! ^^
It’s obvious he can’t manage to settle on his own in the evening, or at least not quickly (which is perfectly normal, mind you!), and he feels the need to express some discomfort—and he's expressing that to you, too.
If you can show him that you've understood and help him relax through the training you've done beforehand, maybe he’ll feel heard, supported, and understood, which will help him soothe...? Maybe in his little head, he’ll think, "Oh right, it's just like during the day, life goes on and we'll play again later (no concept of time!), so no need to worry. She's here now and she'll be back in a bit, just like when we play during the day."
Evening @Energiesolaire, you’re right, Oslo is definitely a lively and energetic puppy!! A bit too much at times 😋
Since I started this thread, we’ve been trying to get ahead of the "mad hour"... I’m sticking to fairly calm games because I’m worried about excitement peeing indoors, even though he’s already house-trained. If I let him get too worked up at that time, I find it hard to settle him down; he gets a bit rough and it becomes difficult to play with him. We save the more boisterous games for the daytime.
As for increasing his time outdoors, he was at puppy classes this morning, had an off-lead walk this afternoon, and a couple of play sessions in between. We had another little game around 6pm, and yet by 8pm the storm was starting to brew anyway... so yeah, I don't think I'll go with that option. I don’t think I’d be able to manage.
Your puppy is going through what people call "emotional storms" (or the zoomies!). They’re very common and perfectly normal. It sounds like you’ve got a very lively and high-energy pup on your hands.
Personally, I chose (given my "advanced years", lol!) not to deal with all that by avoiding breeds known for that kind of carry-on. I’ve tailored my dog's exercise accordingly. Mind you, that’s just a personal choice. I definitely second what Lorna said about the risks of over-stimulating them.
Technically, I think the best way to manage these outbursts is to turn them into a ritual. It’s actually quite simple to do. You already have a good idea of what time they happen and the circumstances that trigger them. You just need to be ready for it and build a routine around the rest.
Ideally, you want to be there with your pup during these moments, rather than just leaving them to spin around like a whirlwind on their own. If you can, head to a part of the house where they can tear about safely and where you can join in the fun. It usually only lasts about 15 to 20 minutes anyway.
You know, we often see our role as just being a "dog walker". We think we’re doing our bit just by taking them for a stroll. But walking isn’t the be-all and end-all; it’s just walking. We should see our role as helping our pets experience meaningful moments in life—whether that’s walking with a purpose or, in this case, just having a play. Those 15-20 minutes are just part of your quality time together. You’re letting them *live* through that moment naturally, rather than making them feel like they’re being "abnormal"—quite the opposite, in fact.
The other way to avoid them is to pack more "life" into their time outdoors, which encourages the pup to actually settle down when they're back inside.
Maybe I should just leave him to it during those moments? Just nip upstairs and wait for him to settle down before heading back down? I have to admit though, I’d really like to be able to handle it myself—mainly to avoid the excitement peeing in the house and to stop him from getting too wound up.
Following the advice you gave me, we’ve been trying to stay one step ahead of his "episodes" over the last two nights. We played with him calmly for a good ten minutes, mixed in with a few little training exercises, then a quiet toilet break, back inside for a rawhide chew, and he went off to sleep all by himself!!!
Except for yesterday, when we had people round just as he’d finished his quiet time, and then it was absolute chaos! Still, I think if we hadn't had visitors, the evening would’ve been perfectly peaceful. We'll keep working on it and see how we get on. Thanks for the advice!
There have been times when my puppy has behaved the same way in the evenings.
Since he sleeps outside my bedroom door every night, if I’m still up watching the telly in the lounge or whatever, he won't go to bed either.
On those rare occasions when he’s seemed a bit grumpy, I’ve headed off to bed to encourage him to do the same, to see if it would settle him down too. He did exactly that—tucked himself into his little spot and we didn't hear another peep from him.
