Coping with the loss of my dog

It’s so awful, Paolo Boudin. 

Everyone here knows what you’re going through. I remember crying my eyes out when my own little ones passed away. It’s unbearable, heartbreaking, and just impossible to wrap your head around. It’s so hard to accept that they’re no longer there.

You know, a vet never suggests putting a pet to sleep lightly. You accepted the ultimate act of love: letting him go to spare him from terrible suffering. You protected him; that’s exactly what a loving owner does for their dog. 

People around you won’t necessarily understand; they’ll think he was "just a dog"... but he was your companion, and we know your heart is breaking. 

Have a cry if you can, it really does help. Hang in there. 

You have all my support, my thoughts, and my solidarity. Even if, at a time like this, I know that’s cold comfort 😕.

Stay strong. 

Matheo.

Thanks Loustik, I wrote a long post but it doesn't seem to have gone through.

He was my boy; he loved children, dogs and cats (except the ones who wandered into the garden uninvited). I often called him my little sausage, my lad, my sweetheart... he passed away on Thursday. He was put to sleep, and I stayed with him until the end.

13 years of sharing love, passion, and all our little habits and routines. I know he’s gone, but I keep expecting to see him walk in; it's those shared reflexes and habits that I’m now having to face without him. I can’t show him my love anymore. I know he’s still at the vet's in the cold room at the moment, and he's due to be cremated on Monday.

He trusted me whenever I took him to see the vet...

But he was in so much pain with pancreatitis, despite the treatment. The decision was made right there at the surgery. Deep down, I had this dread that I wouldn’t be bringing him home, but I was in a sort of denial. I was convinced I’d be coming back with him; I’d even planned out our usual daily routine. Fate decided otherwise once we got there.

It’s just heartbreaking.

Good evening. I am truly sorry for the loss of your pet and I can only imagine the pain you’re going through. I was already struggling with depression beforehand, and losing the love of my life was one of the most excruciating things I’ve ever felt. I cried almost non-stop for at least ten days.

I saw my therapist who helped me through the grieving process (writing a goodbye letter to your dog and leaving it in a place you both loved). Putting my feelings into words really helped me, and I still write regularly whenever I feel overwhelmed by emotion. This might help you too (I can explain it in more detail if you like).

Of course, there are setbacks—grief takes time—but time does heal things little by little. In fact, I’m having a bit of a hard time myself right now; I miss her terribly. But I’m giving myself time, and the right to be sad and talk about her as much as I want. You should do the same.

You have every right to be devastated, and as for anyone who doesn’t understand—tell them to get lost.

Above all, always remember that you did what was best for her. You made the right choice. When you love your pet, you never let them suffer; she isn't in pain anymore, and you were right there with her until the very end. She’s watching over you from above (I’m convinced my girl is watching over me—it’s probably irrational, but I don’t care, the thought brings me comfort).

You’ll see that with time, you don’t forget—never—but you eventually cry less and feel less broken. You think about them every day, of course, but it’s no longer with that same crushing sadness. Nowadays, I look at the hundreds of photos of my dog with so much love and affection.

You also get used to the emptiness, the absence. It takes time because you have to learn how to live differently, but you’ll get there bit by bit. It’s still very early days for you.

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need to talk.

Thanks :) I’m feeling a bit better today. I think letting it all out yesterday really did me some good, as did talking to my therapist, even though she’s advised me against getting another dog straight away. She says I need to do things in the right order: first, work through the grieving process, and then I can go and rescue a pooch. Given my emotional history, she thinks I'd likely just project all that love onto the new dog, bury my grief somewhere, and then one day it would all just blow up in my face.

Since the grieving process usually takes between six and eight months, she suggested waiting until March; but seeing the look on my face, she told me to wait at least until the end of January just to give me a chance to process things a bit.

I think I can hold out until then, but we'll see...

My heart goes out to you.

Lean on the person who is supporting you day-to-day, and try to keep your mind occupied however you can.

Time is the only real healer.

Thinking of you.

It’s been an absolutely horrific day, but at least she’s in a “lovely” box now. I probably looked ridiculous, but I just did what I needed to do—I curled up in a ball on the sofa, clutching her to me and crying my heart out. My boyfriend eventually got home from work and tried to comfort me, but he ended up having to take her out of my arms because he realised I was completely unable to move or let her go.

I don’t know how many hours I stayed like that, but tonight I feel empty and exhausted. My eyes and head ache, and my cheeks are burning.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day; I’m seeing my therapist, so that should do me some good.