Coping with the loss of my dog

Cacabrouette
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Good evening, my dog passed away quite suddenly on 21st December from pancreatitis (she was very ill on Sunday night, I rushed her to the vet as soon as they opened. I take medication to help me sleep, so even though I stayed with her all night, it was impossible for me to drive and I thought it was just a tummy bug...) The vet did everything they could. I went to give her some cuddles on Monday afternoon; she was eating a little, and the vet was quite optimistic, saying she might be able to come home on Tuesday evening. \/p>

On Tuesday, she didn't want to eat. I brought some food from home, but she still refused to eat. I stayed by her side for about an hour, giving her cuddles and telling her how much I love her... but she passed away early that evening. Since then, I feel like my heart has broken, like I've lost the love of my life. I've dealt with losses before... but nothing has ever hurt this much!\/p>

\/p>

We only had her for two and a half years (she was an old girl from a rescue centre that we decided to give the best possible retirement to), and yet she became my whole life; we did everything together.\/p>

In October, I went through a period of depression and was signed off work for two months. She was with me 24\/7 at home; we spent so much time spooning and cuddling... Our bond was so strong that I can't imagine a future without her. I miss everything (even the bits that used to annoy me, like how she'd sleep between the two of us and I'd end up with no duvet, or how she'd sleep on the sofa glued to me or even on top of me, and follow me to the loo... basically she was always right behind me. Yes, I know we were too soft on her, but she was such a sweet, daft old thing, it was impossible to say no).\/p>

\/p>

I know it’s recent, but I just haven't got the heart for anything. All I do is cry and feel regret. My house feels empty of all life, my routine is all over the place and I need to find new habits, but I have no interest in anything... I feel terribly alone and lost.\/p>

\/p>

Obviously, the idea crossed my mind to get another companion from a shelter, not to replace her, but to help heal my heart a little, but I'm too scared I'll just compare them to my dog and not be able to give them the love they need. I think it's better to wait.\/p>

\/p>

Do you have any ideas or tips to help ease the pain a bit?\/p>

Thank you, and sorry for the long post.

\/p>\/p>

Translated from French
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39 answers
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    • ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Hi there, I’m going through this pain too and unfortunately, I don’t think there’s any way to avoid the guilt or stop feeling so sad. But it can really help to talk about it; some people find comfort in getting a new pet, while others feel they could never have another one. Try to focus on the fact that she would have suffered far too much otherwise, and you only let her go because you loved her... Thinking of you and I’m so sorry for your loss.
    Translated from French
    Emla
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    Four years is such a short time....

    When a sense of injustice is mixed with the heartbreak....

    Try to focus on the positives: you gave her the love and security she’d missed out on during the first part of her life, and eventually, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

    Translated from French
    jean83
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    Hello,

    I adopted a little rescue dog who had been badly abused; she came from Andalusia in Spain through a rescue charity. At the time she only weighed about 17 lbs, but she got up to 35 lbs. I didn’t know about all the health problems she had, but I took it all on. After various operations, tests, and lots of medication, she lived a fairly normal life with me for four years. We shared an indescribable bond, to the point where we were completely inseparable; it was pure love. Sadly, yesterday my wife and I had to take her to the vet to be put to sleep as she was suffering.

    All I can say is that I’m in so much pain after losing her. To me, it feels like I’ve lost a member of my family.

    Translated from French
    jean83
    Jean83 Icon representing the flag French
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    Hello,

    I adopted a little rescue dog who had been badly abused; she came from Andalusia in Spain through a rescue charity. At the time she only weighed about 17 lbs, but she got up to 35 lbs. I didn’t know about all the health problems she had, but I took it all on. After various operations, tests, and lots of medication, she lived a fairly normal life with me for four years. We shared an indescribable bond, to the point where we were completely inseparable; it was pure love. Sadly, yesterday my wife and I had to take her to the vet to be put to sleep as she was suffering.

    All I can say is that I’m in so much pain after losing her. To me, it feels like I’ve lost a member of my family.

    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Cacabrouette has done so well, and others have too... Well done! I’m nowhere near that point yet; as soon as I feel like I’ve got a bit of a breather, it all comes back. And I’m in tears.

    Right then, have a good evening everyone 

    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    Thanks Elma

    I completely agree with you, he was like my own child. I know that might sound silly.

    But that’s how it was for me. I need to come to terms with the fact that I took him to be put to sleep, even though he probably thought we were going there to get him better. I’m just so distraught.

    Even though I know it was the kindest thing to do, medically speaking, given his age and the fact that his condition wasn't improving with the treatment anymore.

    He was so proud and strong, and he tried his best not to show how poorly he was feeling, until it finally just became too much for him.

    He hasn’t been cremated yet; I’ll call tomorrow to find out if he’s been taken there yet.

    Time is a healer, usually. Thank you.

    Translated from French
    Emla
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    As Loustik said, many of us here know this pain only too well...

    My heart goes out to you.

    Time is a healer; please give yourself the time you need to grieve.

    Translated from French
    ?
    Anonymous user Icon representing the flag French
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    The final journey, my love... After he was put to sleep (driving back, I nearly threw up on the windscreen with that feeling of betrayal—shame the wipers don't work on the inside), and four days in cold storage, my boy is off for cremation today. I have to go to the vet's to sign the paperwork. I won't be there for the cremation itself. I think it's going to be a long day. He was so brave and courageous, loving, strong, and proud. Sometimes, when I have a reflex feeling that he’s going to react to something, even though he’s gone, my heart just clenches and does a somersault. You're right Loustick, it’s so hard to take it in. Your words are spot on, it's almost indescribable! Thanks Mathéo. As I used to say to him when he was young and fit: go! go! go! This time it’s for me, because I’ve got no motivation at all.
    Translated from French

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