Hi everyone, three years ago I took in one of my mum's cats. I just can't seem to bond with her and I don't really understand her. She miaows all the time, doesn't like cuddles, and only ever goes to the toilet indoors. She'll like a certain type of wet food for a while and then suddenly decide she doesn't like it anymore... I'm at my wits' end. Thanks in advance for any advice.
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I’ve just seen your post about your relationship with Minette. I wanted to see how things are going now? Is it any better? :)
Just give it time; if she was very attached to your mum, it’s bound to be hard for her living with someone else. Gradually, things will surely get better. She might not end up being a total lap cat, but you’ll definitely bond more. And if she’s meowing, it’s actually her way of communicating with you. :) Have you tried playing with her? Maybe with some bits of string? Or putting some catnip pouches on her cat tree, for example. It might give her a bit of a boost. If she’s also lashing out at the dog, it’s likely because things are tough for her too and she’s stressed. Gaining a cat’s trust can take time. You could try giving her a little bit of pan-fried salmon. If she already likes it, it’ll help draw her to you a bit more. :) Anyway, don’t lose heart! :)
@Emy
I know Siamese cats very well as I’ve had them all my life. They really are the most vocal cats, with the raspiest voices of all. It can definitely get a bit much, I’ll give you that...
Siamese are known for bonding incredibly strongly with just one person and they get really unsettled when that person isn’t around. My own have never fully accepted anyone but me – not even people who visit all the time. As long as your old girl is eating and drinking, I’d say she’s doing alright and that, in her own way, she’s accepted you.
Thank you so much for your kindness! I used to visit Mum every day and did her shopping, so I know each cat's food preferences inside out, but that's just the way it is – Zézé is fussy and keeps changing her mind. However, the real root of the problem lies elsewhere; it’s mostly her indifference towards me that I find so upsetting.
Unfortunately, Zézé doesn't play... and she doesn't use a scratching post, so we have to clip her claws for her regularly. She isn't the affectionate type but she's not at all aggressive; she just runs off grumbling, that's all.
[quote=Greylox][quote=Wesetmi]Greylox ... she’ll eat wet food with gravy or soups, but never the same thing twice. If I give her the same thing twice in one day, she just won't eat. She won't even have the same brand twice in a row; I’m constantly juggling several brands just to try and keep her happy. I have to change her litter completely every single day, otherwise she uses the sink. I’m even forced to leave the garden door open in the middle of winter; she’ll go out and then meow at my upstairs window even if I’m calling her from the back door... I can't have anyone over to the house anymore because it stresses her out so much—she either gets aggressive or hides away and refuses to eat. I know she's not right (I drove over 125 miles to see this vet who has managed to improve things slightly). He’s the 5th vet I've seen, so yes, I’ve basically given up. She’s wrecked a suspended ceiling, attacks every plant I have, traumatises the dog we had at the same time, and destroys anything hanging down... So yes, my post might sound harsh, but I wouldn't wish a cat like mine on anyone.
Look, we get it, you’re done with cats. You should probably head back to the dog forum where you can have more constructive discussions. You haven't tried to find solutions with us, and you haven't tried to help the original poster either. You just came here to vent your frustration (which I do understand, believe me) right in our faces, and we reacted accordingly.As I mentioned, I'm sorry for disturbing the wonderful world of cats. I won't be coming back to "your forum"; I’ve got the message. Thank you for the "welcome" and your "understanding". For the original poster: it's okay not to like a cat, but you mustn't mistreat it. That's all I wanted to say—it’s a shame you didn't understand that.
Let's stop being disingenuous, please. My first message to Emy started with:
"I'm talking to Emy now:
You know what? There’s no law saying you have to love your cat :) Cats are quite unique animals with a huge range of personalities from one individual to the next."
thanks for the advice; I know deep down she has so many great qualities; Mum lived just 50 metres from me and Zézé never tried to run off, she settled into her new environment so quickly as if she knew...
Whether she "knows" or not, the fact she hasn't run away shows that your place is her home now :) Try playing with her if she’s receptive, it’s the solution to so many issues with cats (but, once again, never use your hands directly)
Greylox ... she’ll eat wet food in gravy or soup-style meals but never the same thing twice; if I give her the same thing twice in one day she won't touch it, and never the same brand twice in a row either. I’m constantly juggling different brands to try and keep her happy. I have to change her litter tray completely every single day, otherwise she uses the sink. I’m even forced to leave the garden door open in the middle of winter, and then she’ll go and meow at my upstairs window even if I’m calling her from downstairs... to keep her stress levels down I can’t have anyone over to the house anymore, otherwise she gets aggressive, hides away and won’t eat. I know she’s not right (I drove over 120 miles to see this vet who actually managed to improve things a bit), he’s the 5th vet I’ve seen, so yeah, I’ve given up. She’s ruined a suspended ceiling, attacks every plant, traumatises the dog we already had, and destroys anything that hangs down... So yeah, my post might sound harsh, but I wouldn’t wish a cat like mine on anyone.
Look, we get it, you’re finished with cats. You’d be better off going back to the dog forum where you can have some constructive conversations; you haven’t looked for solutions with us, and you haven’t tried to find any solutions for the original poster either. You just came here to throw your frustration in our faces (which I do understand, believe me), and we’ve responded accordingly.
As I mentioned, I’m sorry to have disturbed the wonderful world of cats; I won’t be coming back to "your forum", I’ve got the message. Thanks for the welcome and your understanding.
To the original poster: you don’t have to love a cat, but you shouldn’t harm one. That’s all I wanted to say; it’s a shame you didn’t understand that.
Thanks for your advice; I know deep down she has so many wonderful qualities. Mum lived just 50 metres away from me and Zeze never once tried to wander off; she settled into her new surroundings so quickly, it was as if she knew...
Greylox... she'll eat wet food in gravy or soup textures, but never the same thing twice. If I serve the same thing twice in one day, she just won't eat, and never the same brand twice in a row either. I'm constantly juggling multiple brands to try and keep her happy. I have to change the litter tray completely every single day (the whole lot, otherwise she uses the sink). I'm forced to leave the garden door open even in the middle of winter; she’ll then climb up and meow at my window even if I’m calling her from downstairs... To keep her stress levels down, I can’t have anyone over to the house anymore, otherwise she gets aggressive, hides away, and won't eat. I know she’s not right (I drove about 125 miles to see this latest vet who managed to improve things slightly); he’s the 5th one I’ve seen, so yes, I’ve thrown in the towel. She’s trashed a false ceiling, attacks every plant in sight, traumatises the dog who was here first, and destroys anything that hangs down... So yes, my post might sound harsh, but I wouldn't wish a cat like mine on anyone.
Look, it's clear you've been well and truly put off cats, we get it. You'd be better off heading back to the dog forum where you can actually have a constructive chat. You haven't tried to find any solutions with us, and you haven't tried to help the original poster; you've just come here to vent your frustration (which I do understand, believe me) right in our faces, and we've responded accordingly.
