Poorly weaned kitten – aggressive, hyperactive and bitey. What should we do?

Thanks for your reply. Overall, we’re doing all of that already... We never use our hands to play with her, and we play with her as often as we can. We’ve invested in plenty of toys (fishing rod teasers, balls with bells, mice, etc.). I’m going to buy a catnip toy to see if that distracts her even more. We play with her as much as humanly possible, but we can't spend five hours a day doing it. Last night, as soon as we got in (at about 6 pm), she was hyper and completely restless until around 11 pm. She was attacking us, jumping on us, scratching and biting (only playing, nothing malicious, but still...) for five hours straight... It was impossible to have a quiet meal, and if we put her in the bathroom for even 15 minutes, she meows her head off and throws herself against the door to try and get out. Plus, she "climbs" up us with her claws, trying to scale us like a cat tree (even though she’s got one in the living room). As for getting a second kitten, we’ve thought about it, but I’m worried it won’t go well and we’ll end up with two unmanageable kittens at home... If we did get a second one, we’d obviously get one that was three months old, but the mischief wouldn't stop there. Getting into trouble is normal for a kitten, but I feel like our kitten isn’t "normal" – she’s completely over-excited and it only gets worse during the week when we’re obviously around less during the day...

My niece got a kitten at the same age as yours (it was her choice! but she hadn’t really thought it through) and she behaved exactly like yours. She’s been spayed now and, honestly, it’s completely changed her behaviour. Whether it’s unusual for them to calm down like that though, I’m not really sure.

Hi there,

Regarding returning her to the lady, if the mother is still there and is willing to take her back, it’s worth a try – it certainly won't make things any worse.

If that’s not an option:

It’s perfectly normal that she’d rather pounce on you than play with static toys... it’s way more fun and, more importantly, it’s what her instincts are telling her to do (hunt).

For the biting and random attacks, you need to give her a "kicker" toy to let off steam. These are basically soft toys stuffed with valerian or catnip (try to find short-pile ones, as there’s a risk she’ll rip the fluff out of long-haired ones). The moment she attacks you, give her the toy – even if you have to "attack" her a bit with it first (tease her with it to encourage her to go for it). Don't leave these toys out all the time.

It’s the same with her other toys; you need to rotate them, because for her, a ball or a mouse just lying on the floor all day isn't interesting at all.

Keep play sessions short (about 15 mins) but repeat them several times a day. If you haven't got one, invest in a fishing rod toy; they’re brilliant. Have a look into "how to play with a cat properly" too; it sounds silly, but we often don't get the movements quite right. You should be able to find plenty of videos online about it.

VERY IMPORTANT: never play with her using your bare hands, not even for a second for a laugh. If she attacks you during play, push her away and ignore her for about 20 seconds. If she doesn't calm down, put her in another room for a few minutes (but leave her a toy to play with).

Regarding the peeing on the bath mat: throw the mat away. Even after a wash, the scent will still be there. If she’s doing this, she’s expressing distress, so there’s no point scolding her (generally speaking, scolding your pet is just plain useless anyway). Whatever you do, don't clean the areas where she’s urinated with bleach – it will actually encourage her to do it again.

One last option... but it’s a big step (not least financially) and depends on the size of your place: adopting a second kitten.

Her behaviour is normal for a kitten her age; she should really have siblings to play and burn off energy with (and a mum to groom and teach her). It’s only natural she’s struggling when you aren't around. If you watch kittens this age, you'll see they're almost always together, doing nothing but playing and sleeping together. Ideally, that woman shouldn't have given her to you until she was at least 12 weeks old (by the way, you should suggest she gets her cat spayed... considering how many rescue cats are waiting for homes, and how poorly she's handling these adoptions, it would be doing everyone a favour...).