I’m posting here today because my kitten is a complete law unto himself and it's becoming really, really difficult to manage day-to-day.
He’s a farm kitten that I rescued when he was about 6 or 8 weeks old at most, just to make sure he didn't end up dumped on the streets. I got him from a lady who didn't want him anymore because her other pets wouldn't accept him. He was weaned and had no health issues, apart from being riddled with worms, but that was all sorted out very quickly.
I know full well that he was given to me much too early, but what could I do? I wasn't going to leave him out on the street at that age! So, I took him in mid-October.
Behaviour-wise, it’s one extreme to the other. Sometimes he is very, very cuddly (only with me, never with my partner), but even that’s a bit of an issue because he ADORES my face. He rubs against me and gives me head-butts, and even more annoying, he paws at my face but sometimes his claws come out (he's not being mean, he's just 'making biscuits' like happy cats do).
The main problem is elsewhere, though. He loves to play (which is fine), but despite having dozens of toys at his disposal plus a massive cat tree, he prefers to bite and scratch us. Obviously, we tell him 'no' once, twice, three times... but he never stops until we give him a time-out in another room. And when he comes out after ten minutes, he starts all over again! We also can't eat in peace anymore without him begging, and the dining table has become his favourite playground. Ever since we got him, we've constantly told him off for climbing on the table. He knows he shouldn't do it because as soon as I get up to scold him, he bolts before I even say anything, but then he just does it again and again... It honestly feels like he’s doing it just to wind us up!!
We’ve tried everything to make him understand (well, I think so anyway): a spray bottle — he’s not a fan, but it’s far from being a real deterrent for him; banging on the table to make a noise and scare him off — he’s back a second later; shutting him away — he just goes back to it as soon as he’s out (.....).
Anyway, sorry for the long post, but if you have any advice or can at least tell me if he'll calm down as he gets older...
Thanks in advance for your replies.
Manon B.
Translated from French
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Evening, sorry to bother you all but I’m really confused by my cat’s behaviour. I’m starting to wonder what's going on because for about a week he’ll be good and listen, then the next week it’s just one bit of mischief after another. He completely stops listening, even if we put him in a room for a bit to calm down. He’s breaking everything and opening drawers to steal food and treats—we can’t leave anything out or he’ll nick it. He’s also not being very clean; he won't use his litter tray if there's even a tiny bit of pee or poo in there. Is this normal? It’s getting really stressful as we’re moving house soon and we’re worried he’s going to wreck the new flat.
But to make all this productive, to really make a difference and tackle both issues at once while building a bond with your kitten, I’d suggest the following. Think of it as a strict ritual. It requires discipline on your part. Some people go to yoga, others to the gym or the mosque; well, this kitten needs his own ritual too. Instead of depriving him of what he’s looking for right now, give him what he actually needs:
Alternate with some close-contact play, using an object you hold in your hand. He’ll be tempted to have a little nibble on you. Don't let him. Stop him very gently (remember, we’re still in play mode, so no negative energy). Then, offer the toy. A cat wants to hunt. So, as long as you simulate a 'prey' escape and make him want to chase the object, it should work a treat.
Next, get him running and jumping. You need to develop his agility and strength, and let him burn off some steam. Jumping on the cat tree, chasing a mouse on a wand toy, a little ball – whatever. Do that for 10-15 minutes. Then, give him some food while *you* sit down for your own meal.
Once the kitten eats, his face will be a bit messy. He'll be tempted to chill out on his cat tree, groom himself, and then have a nap. I always put his food on the top level of his tree. It encourages him to stay there after his little meal. A cat up high is a much calmer cat. He can watch the world go by from above before drifting off.
Usually, your kitten isn’t just black or white. If he’s wound up, he’s playful; if he’s getting sleepy, he’s cuddly. Make the most of those moments for a cuddle. Don't even bother trying to stroke him when he’s at level 10 excitement. On the other hand, when he is calm, find his sweet spots and show him that a human hand is there for lovely, gentle cuddles.
He comes up to you, head-butts you and starts kneading—which is a sign of friendship in cats—and you think he’s scratching you and you just push him away. Change your approach. Treat him like a motherless baby, with lots of love and respect.
I found the start of your message a bit blunt, but I have to say I agree, especially about the need for patience.
But also, it’s so important. You really need to bond with your cat. If you unfortunately turn all his affectionate advances into negative experiences, I find that tragic. It honestly breaks my heart :( Imagine, it’s like blaming a baby for wrapping its tiny hands around your fingers or touching your face while smiling :(
First off, make sure your kitten has some decent kit. A great cat tree is a must. If he’s not used to it, show him how to use it. I did this by getting mine to chase a toy mouse on a wand. It’s brilliant fun.
I’m quite firm on this. My place is very quiet, I live on my own. It was fairly easy to teach my kitten 'no'. It took about six to eight weeks. I only use one method. You say 'no' very softly and put the cat back down on the floor. If he jumps up again, you say 'no' and put him down. Never any violence, no need to try and 'intimidate' the kitten. I mean intimidate in the widest sense—making him a bit scared, playing that card. I don't believe in that at all. It builds a poor foundation. Urgh, I hate the thought of it.
No. You just put him down. After about 20 times, he won't jump up anymore. Keep at it until that 20 becomes 2 or 3. Then 1. Then 0.
In the meantime, maybe try to time the mealtimes? Well, easier said than done, as kittens eat such tiny portions. But if he’s had his fill, it’ll help stop him wanting to go scavenging on the table.
Your kitten is very young and hasn't had enough time with his mum. He missed out on being socialised by her. It’s also possible he’s been a bit unsettled by his early start in life and being separated far too soon.
I’d suggest sticking with the techniques you’ve put in place to correct him when he bites, as it's vital that he learns some boundaries. On top of that, he might need something to help soothe him: you could try a Feliway diffuser or some Bach Flower Remedies (these can give really great results with animals). This should help him feel less aggressive and make him more cuddly and playful, without any risk to his health.
Hi there,
Your kitten hasn't been fully socialised yet. Usually, the mother cat does this during the third month by teaching them bite inhibition and how to keep their claws in. Since he’s with you now, you’re the one who has to teach him these boundaries.
Apart from that, his behaviour is typical for a healthy, active kitten; there’s nothing abnormal about it. You’ll just need to be patient and accept that you have to handle his "education" when it comes to play, biting, and scratching.
For a kitten, there’s nothing quite like "moving prey"—which means your hands, hair, legs, and feet! When he goes for them, immediately redirect his attention to his toys. If that doesn't work, continue putting him in another room and completely ignoring him, just as you’ve been doing. This phase will last a few months and should settle down once he’s been neutered.
As for mealtimes, his behaviour is perfectly normal once again. When they’re little, kittens mimic their mothers—what she eats, how she grooms herself, how to spot danger, and so on. Since you are his "parents" now, he naturally wants to eat whatever you’re eating. He’s simply learning by copying you. If you want him to leave you in peace while you eat, putting him in a separate room is the best way to go.
Just keep in mind that kittens are VERY stubborn. If you’ve decided the answer is "NO" (said calmly, without raising your voice or making sudden movements), you must stick to your guns. If you give in just once, he’ll see it as permanent permission.
I wish you the best of luck and plenty of patience. He’s behaving exactly like a kitten should... which is actually very reassuring in itself. Things might even go more smoothly if he had a playmate his own age, as they could play together and tire each other out.
