My first kitten is hiding

OK, thanks Blue and Le Bronze for the clarification. I was surprised to hear that from Blue, sorry about the misunderstanding.

Oh, what a HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING 🙀😧😱🐌 (Even the snail emoji is confused, but I guess you can't really tell 😂😂😂) EXTRACT FROM THE OP'S MESSAGE: ..... blah blah blah.... ⭐some people are telling me to pick him up regardless of his reactions, otherwise he’ll never come to me and will turn feral⭐...... blah blah blah... @KELINDA, without wanting to speak for bluecat, I think she was referring to this part of the OP's message between the two stars and not at all to what you said!

@Kelinda, That message wasn't aimed at you at all! I was typing my reply while yours was being posted, so I hadn't actually read it. My comments were in response to what Melinalva said; she was being given some rubbish advice, which she was sensible enough not to listen to. And as you know, I don't think you're an idiot at all and I agree with your advice most of the time.

@blu ?????? WAS THAT "IDIOT" MEANT FOR ME? I’VE ALWAYS HAD CATS and I left her in peace in a room with everything she needed, but after several weeks I’d had enough of her running away from me, so every now and then I tried to pick her up and give her a stroke—that seems normal to me. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, but using words like "idiot", I find that quite insulting, especially coming from you when you’re usually so polite ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?????????????????????????????

Thanks for all your replies; they’ve really reassured me and confirmed what I was thinking. My kitten was found very young with his brothers (but not their mum), having been abandoned and then taken in by a local rescue who placed them with a foster family. He’s been handled, but not a huge amount, and only by the lady who fostered them. I’ve set up several hiding spots for him so he has somewhere comfy, but he still prefers the toilet. I’ve put his litter tray right next to him, with his food and water a bit further away in the hallway near the bathroom. I followed your advice with the Laughing Cow cheese, but he didn’t dare come near, so I just put it in his bowl for him. Now that I’m reassured that I’m doing the right thing by leaving him be and that he won’t feel abandoned, I’m just going to wait for things to happen in their own time, and maybe go and talk to him every now and then? Also, I was wondering if it’s a bad idea not to give him access to the rest of the flat at night? When I do, he hides so well in places that are hard for me to get to, and it worries me every time I can't find him. I'm always scared something’s happened to him or that he’ll stay stuck in there for days. Thanks again to everyone for your advice.

Hello, settling a kitten into a new environment can be very tricky sometimes. Some kittens hide as soon as they arrive, often in spots that can be dangerous for them. Your kitten might not be in the most comfortable place, but he doesn’t seem to be in any danger. You haven't mentioned any particular issues in your post other than him hiding when you get close, which I assume means he’s eating and using his litter tray, so he’s likely just scared rather than "wild". Three days is nothing. I don’t think forcing contact is a good idea (even though there will always be stories of it working for someone); he might just feel that he was right to be wary of you, rather than thinking "oh look, she's picking me up and nothing bad is happening". As @Blue Cat said, a human moving around can be very intimidating for a kitten. When I adopted my girl at 12 weeks old, she used to hide under the TV stand every time I stood up or walked around, yet she’s slept in my bed with me since the very first night. Even now, if I get up too suddenly or I’m in a rush in the morning, she bolts and hides, and I’ve had her for three years now. In any case, you have no reason to feel guilty; the fact that you're asking these questions shows you really care about him. I think his reaction would have been the same with any owner. Do you know what his behaviour was like before you adopted him? When I chose Yumé from the six kittens available for adoption (from two different litters), the foster home told me she spent most of her time behind the sofa—she was apparently being bullied by the other kittens—and I chose her knowing it would probably be harder than if I’d adopted one of the others.

Hi there, I totally agree with the advice above. Only people who haven't got a clue about cats and their true nature would suggest 'forcing things'. And the argument that 'otherwise he'll go wild again' is absolute rubbish, with no basis in reality whatsoever. This kind of nonsense makes my blood boil. You always have to respect a cat – they’re very different from dogs. A cat is a TERRITORIAL animal; it’s vital they settle into their environment by leaving their scent everywhere first. Only then can they start to bond with their human. But it always has to be on their terms, without ever forcing anything. Patience and a gentle approach work wonders with timid cats. To help build trust faster, you could offer some food or a bit of Dairylea from the palm of your hand while lying on the floor, without trying to touch him. A human standing up and moving around is very intimidating for a scared kitten. Is he shut in the loo or the bathroom? That's not ideal for a kitten's comfort. The best thing is to set him up in a room with everything he needs—litter tray well away from his food and water. Give him a cosy bed and a place to hide whenever he feels the need (under a bed, for example). Ideally, for now, it should be a room where he’ll be on his own most of the time so he can eat and sleep without being constantly on edge. Obviously, you can still go in to chat to him regularly. Once he's more confident, you can stay for longer 'visits'. But he needs to feel like it’s 'his' space where he’s safe. Always keep the litter tray clean so he gets used to using it. Two trays are always better than one.