Hi everyone, I was just wondering if any of you have, or have had, cats like my girl (2 years old, spayed) and if there's an explanation for it.
She’s naturally quite skittish and a bit stressed. I’ve noticed she loves it when we scratch the base of her tail. When we do, she rubs her head against all the furniture, walls, or anything else nearby—but never on us.
Sometimes I just watch her from across the room and talk to her, and instead of coming over to me, she starts rubbing her head against everything around her. And she purrs every time.
If I put my hand on her head or near her whiskers, she won't move or duck away to avoid contact, but she doesn't try to rub against me at all like she does so excessively with everything else...
Does anyone have any ideas or tips so that, over time, she might start doing it to our hands too...?
Thanks :)
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Oof... Not wanting to sound like I’m pushing you to spend money, but have you tried the 'Cosma Nature' tins (the green and white ones)? They are complementary foods (to be given only alongside her dry food), but the great thing about them is that they have proper chunks of fish (and a chicken version). You can actually tell what kind of fish it is; it’s not blended at all, just set in a bit of jelly (the cooking juices). You can find trial packs on a well-known site that let you test them out without breaking the bank (a pack of 6 tins with 5 flavours). Mind you, the smell of some of them is quite strong!
Otherwise, you could try adding a slice or two of cooked courgette (no seasoning) to her dry food. I’ve never seen a cat turn that down yet... but your girl might prove me wrong! :)
She’s got a water fountain and I reckon she drinks quite a lot, and I’ve already tried giving her all sorts of wet food with different textures but she won’t touch it at all... she practically recoils just from sniffing what I’m offering. 😞
You should try giving them a portion of wet food every day. It’s better for their health (my vet confirmed this too, actually). Since they don’t drink much, getting moisture into them through their food is the best way to prevent urinary issues. You’ll obviously need to reduce their daily dry food allowance. Try some grain-free tins; they aren’t necessarily more expensive and are better suited to a cat’s diet.
Thanks, it’s really reassuring to see that there’s been some progress three years on :). We’ve already tried her with another cat and we think it’ll do her the world of good... we’re getting a kitten in about a month and a half, which I think will be less territorial and not as intimidating for her, even if it is a bit energetic :)
She’s not food-motivated at all; she only eats dry food and nothing else interests her :/... so I can’t really use that to help.
Regarding her wariness of other people, yes, that can definitely still change. Our lad, who’s nearly three, finally hopped onto the sofa this weekend while a friend was sitting there—something he’d never done before. There’s still a way to go, though.
In my opinion, you should try giving her a bit of space and independence; don’t pester her too much. Contrary to what many owners worry about, just because you don't approach your cat doesn't mean she won’t come to you. It’s quite the opposite! :)
Be careful about getting a companion, as your little girl might not take to it. Either way, make sure you do plenty of research beforehand on how to introduce a new cat smoothly. Look into the temperament of the cat you’re adopting as well, and try to pick one that’s roughly the same age as yours (kittens are cute, but they’re exhausting and can be a real nuisance for an adult cat :) ).
As for the fact that she doesn't rub against you, as mentioned above, cats mark their territory by rubbing, but you already smell like her, so she might not see the point in doing it to you. Or perhaps she’s just made the connection that "marking = inanimate objects".
In any case, this gesture that we usually see as affection actually isn’t! :)
In our house, "the Miss"—the least affectionate of the lot—only rubs against our legs when we’re getting their bowls ready. You could call it gratitude (or brown-nosing! ^^), but I see it more as her wanting to claim the source of the food (namely me... or my other half when she’s the one doing the feeding).
Hello, thanks for your reply. Regarding the slow blinking, I’ve been doing that since she was a kitten and most of the time she blinks back at me 😁. We have a really special bond; she’s my first pet and we’re inseparable, but I’ve overprotected her unfortunately, so she’s not very keen on visitors... At 2 years old, do you think she can still change? She’s been suckling my earlobe since she was a tiny kitten; she’s much more expressive with me and I can pick her up and stroke her easily—she starts purring straight away. But I was wondering why she doesn't head-butt or rub her face against me, even though she rubs against every object around her or the floor if there's nothing else...
It’s quite strange 🤷
We’re looking for a companion for her; maybe she’ll gain a bit more confidence with another cat around...
Hello, thanks for your reply. Regarding the slow blinking, I’ve been doing that since she was a kitten and most of the time she blinks back at me 😁. We have a really special bond; she’s my first pet and we’re inseparable, but I’ve overprotected her unfortunately, so she’s not very keen on visitors... At 2 years old, do you think she can still change? She’s been suckling my earlobe since she was a tiny kitten; she’s much more expressive with me and I can pick her up and stroke her easily—she starts purring straight away. But I was wondering why she doesn't head-butt or rub her face against me, even though she rubs against every object around her or the floor if there's nothing else...
It’s quite strange 🤷
We’re looking for a companion for her; maybe she’ll gain a bit more confidence with another cat around...
Hi there,
Kikaah is 100% right.
Your little girl is quite timid, and by rubbing herself on everything like that, she’s reassuring herself by leaving her scent everywhere. That’s the real reason cats rub against you: they’re marking you. For now, she doesn’t feel the need (or doesn't quite dare yet) to do it to you directly. On the flip side, if you give her a little scritch at the base of her tail, you’re actually marking yourself with her scent ;)
It’s entirely up to her to decide when she's ready to take that next step and come to you.
One tip: when you’re talking to her from a distance, if you catch her eye, try giving her a slow blink. This shows her that you trust her and invites her to do the same. If she slow-blinks back, that’s another big milestone reached :)
We have a little one who isn’t overly cuddly herself. In our case, we think she generally struggles with inter-species communication, and maybe even feline social cues. We’ve found that when she hops onto our laps in the evening, that’s her "social time" with us. The rest of the time, we leave her be, maybe just giving her a tiny scritch while she’s sleeping. By not pestering her too much, we’ve let her choose when to "show" us she wants some social time. She’s made it very clear now... even if it did take us a while to realise that "I’m on your lap" means "okay, you can give me a few strokes now". Humans can be a bit slow on the uptake sometimes! ^^
